[batted balls]

Max Mercy, Jr. here again, folks . . .

Ole Max is about gassed out folks. Ole Max is experiencing gas pains like never before. No, Ole Max isn't talking about a couple of bad burritos from down El Paso way . . . Ole Max is talking about these crazy gas prices.

Those of you who are regular (get it!) readers on Ole Max's column know of his travels on the highways and byways of this great country to get the inside scoop on the All-American Baseball League. You know of Ole Max's journeys in his super-cool (or "tricked-out" as those wacky college co-eds like to say) RV dubbed the Maxi-Pad. Well, the Maxi-Pad may have to be shelved for awhile. Why?

High gas prices! Like most Americans, these prices have hit the ole bottom line for Ole Max. As you know, Ole Max is a freelance writer since his "dismissal" from that cheap rag of a Chicago paper he used to work his tail off for . . . that means Ole Max doesn't have a fancy expense account like the big boys in Bristol and other media mavens. Yes, gas prices are eating away at Ole Max's money supply. That's why Ole Max just may have to park the Maxi-Pad for a few weeks or months or maybe even the rest of the season.

Don't panic, loyal readers! Ole Max will still be on the job. My pappy didn't raise no dummy. Ole Max will find a way to get around the AABL circuit in a cheaper manner. Just like you hard-working egg 'n hammers out there, Ole Max will tighten his belt and find a new and better way to get the job done.

So, Ole Max is giving you his word that he'll be where the action and the story is. Whether it be in sunny California, blazing-hot Texas, the marvelous Midwest, the tropics of Florida or some snooty place out East . . . Ole Max is on the job, getting the latest dope out to you! (One of my friends said I shouldn't use the word "dope" any more, but Ole Max doesn't see what the big deal is. People these days are just too PC! If you're a dope, well then too bad!).

Also be safe in the knowledge that if these gas prices continue to rise like the ERA of a Cal State Fullerton pitcher, Ole Max will let those politicians in Washington know what's what! Yes, Ole Max is more than just a snazzy-dressing, ruggedly handsome baseball savant!

This is Max Mercy, Jr., working his way to Austin, Texas for the All-Star Game . . . I should be there by month's end in time for the first pitch!