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7/19/1901
Yes, You Read The Date Correctly
Somehow It's July Again
Philadelphia SS Einstein Suspected
In a turn of events that our staff psychic deems similar to a "movie" called "Groundhog Day" (yes, readers, we understand that sometimes the man makes no sense; you'll have to trust us when we say he makes a mean pot of coffee), when we awoke this morning we saw that the calendar was crossed out only to the 19th of July. Thinking this was some kind of colossal prank pulled upon us by the "interns", we strode out to the park and the ticket-taker there confirmed the date. Then we went to our favorite bar and asked the bartender there, had a Scotch, and repeated this process seven or eight times. We weren't 100% sure what week it was after this, but when we came out of our stupor - early-morning drinking has its upside! - we found that we had "rewound" an entire month.
We're still scratching our heads over this one. We asked many of the players throughout the league and suffice it to say that Philadelphia Phillies short stop Albert "The Genius" Einstein knew just a little bit too much about the phenomenon of time travel, if you understand our meaning. We're not going to come out and say that he was responsible for this, but for all of you out there who finally got that hard-earned divorce from that battle-ax of a wife of yours and who now find yourself shackled once more 'till death do you part... all we have to say is, you know who to boo.
The first thing on our mind is this: given the way that the races in both leagues ceased to be races when the Great Step Backwards occurred, will this cause teams such as the Red Stockings of Boston or the Cincinnati Reds to engage in "block buster" trades to beef up their rosters and make a better charge at their respective pennants? Certainly baseball is not served by ho-humness in early August. We can only hope that the GMs of these and other squads can remember that lost month as vividly as we can.
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