Overview: We admit it. We really don't know what we are doing. Two consecutive last place finishes probably caused you all to guess this anyway, but we wanted to state it for the record. Detroit seems to be a nice enough place and should turn into a nice baseball town once we figure all this out. One encouraging point, we think, is that everything was bad last year. That means that no one person will have the finger pointed at them. We do so hate confrontation.
Pitching
Chris "The Birmingham Bunter" Langdon
Code:
Year Team Age G W L IP H R ER HR BB SO CG Sh ERA
1900 Brooklyn - NL 23 35 3 3 74.1 86 41 30 2 21 14 0 0 3.63
1901 Detroit - AL 24 20 2 6 78.1 94 59 42 3 26 25 4 1 4.83
1902 Detroit - AL 25 35 14 16 237.0 253 138 95 6 59 39 19 0 3.61
One thing that we have found has worked for us is to get people who live nearby. We are considering trying out our grounds crew in spring training. Boy, can those guys shovel! Chris Langdon is from nearby Birmingham, Michigan. This was his first season in which he got the chance to start in more than seven games. It was good, and we can only expect better things as he gets used to the role.
Dempsey Quarell
Code:
Year Team Age G W L IP H R ER HR BB SO CG Sh ERA
1901 Detroit - AL 33 3 0 3 24.0 20 12 11 1 9 7 2 0 4.13
1902 Detroit - AL 34 30 5 18 209.1 265 169 98 5 78 53 17 0 4.21
Quarell had an absolutely insane 1901 season in the minors. We have him recording more than 70 games started and a 26-21 record. Apparently his manager had the idea of putting him out on the mound for 5 innings every single day. We tried a more sane approach with him last year... and it appears that the insanity was the way to go with this man.
Brad Leach
Code:
Year Team Age G W L IP H R ER HR BB SO CG Sh ERA
1900 Brooklyn - NL 29 48 5 3 95.0 120 51 39 1 33 26 0 0 3.69
1901 Brooklyn - NL 30 14 1 3 36.2 49 26 21 2 9 18 0 0 5.15
1902 Detroit - AL 31 26 11 9 180.2 181 91 61 1 50 46 13 0 3.04
We bet the Superbas are really kicking themselves now that we figured out that Brad Leach is a perfectly decent starting pitcher. The White Stockings too, for that matter; they held his rights before releasing him at the end of spring training. Leach may not be the youngest player in the world, but his status as a long-time reliever means he has never been used much and as such should be a staple of this rotation for years to come.
Newton MacDaid
Code:
Year Team Age G W L IP H R ER HR BB SO CG Sh ERA
1901 Detroit - AL 31 31 9 15 207.2 261 156 98 4 61 64 16 1 4.25
1902 Detroit - AL 32 24 7 15 179.1 240 131 89 2 58 46 16 2 4.47
We aren't entirely sure why this man pitched in 55 games for us over the years. It might have, ah, had something to do with a certain notion that the Irish are natural born pitchers, what with their propensity to tilt back the ale giving them extra wrist strength. We never said it was a sound theory.
Reardon "Chuckles" O'Mullany
Code:
Year Team Age G W L IP H R ER HR BB SO CG Sh ERA
1900 Cleveland - AA 23 52 3 4 95.0 119 67 44 3 45 25 0 0 4.17
1901 Detroit - AL 24 16 7 7 116.1 128 63 38 2 41 40 10 0 2.94
1902 Detroit - AL 25 17 7 9 143.2 143 60 45 3 37 59 13 0 2.82
It's good to see a man who is able to laugh. On a team such as this, it helps him to get through the good times as well as the bad. We are never really sure what he's talking about. Frankly, we think he's either one of those introspective types or touched in the head. We suppose he could be both.
Gar "Doctor Detroit" Wood
Code:
Year Team Age G W L IP H R ER HR BB SO CG Sh ERA
1900 Cleveland - AA 17 20 0 8 62.2 90 71 44 5 56 21 0 0 6.32
1901 Detroit - AL 18 34 9 18 238.1 250 155 109 4 115 109 20 0 4.12
1902 Detroit - AL 19 29 1 10 136.1 143 86 58 1 59 43 9 0 3.83
We cannot wait until this man truly learns how to pitch. He got sent down last year after a 1-7 beginning to the season, but got called back up to mop up and make the occasional spot start. He just turned 20 in December - we think that just being able to pitch at his age is something.
Everyone Else
Code:
Name Age G W L IP H R ER HR BB SO CG Sh ERA
Dennis Culler 31 16 6 0 70.0 61 19 2 17 16 2.44
Brian Mellen 37 10 2 7 79.0 103 38 0 40 18 4.33
Fiachra Rat 23 3 0 3 21.1 26 7 0 9 6 2.95
Ken Wilson 25 1 0 0 2.1 3 2 1 1 0 7.72
Catcher and First Base
Earl McAllen C(91)
Code:
Year Team/League Age G AB H 2B 3B HR RBI R BB K SB AVG
1901 Detroit - AL 34 90 320 81 3 2 0 38 26 13 33 1 .253
1902 Detroit - AL 35 94 317 71 6 1 0 31 29 15 42 0 .224
Prior to 1901, Earl McAllen had never played in the major leagues. Even in the minors, he was a backup catcher. Let's chalk this one up to beginner's mistakes and move forward, shall we?
George O'Kyan C(51)
Code:
Year Team/League Age G AB H 2B 3B HR RBI R BB K SB AVG
1901 Detroit - AL 28 47 152 34 2 2 0 10 14 6 20 0 .224
1902 Detroit - AL 29 53 166 31 2 0 0 17 10 7 16 0 .187
Look, our catchers show just as much grit and determination as anybody else's catchers. Is it their fault they can't hit, run, or throw? No. Next question.
Farquhar "The Gay Slapper" Kifford 1B(140)
Code:
Year Team/League Age G AB H 2B 3B HR RBI R BB K SB AVG
1901 Detroit - AL 25 82 263 77 13 4 1 32 29 27 16 0 .293
1902 Detroit - AL 26 140 542 144 25 6 3 75 75 56 39 2 .266
The Gay Slapper played in every inning of every game for the Tigers and looked visibly fatigued as the year went on. He posted averages of .253 and .211 in August and September. We found this strange because we had always heard that gay men have vast, unheard of quantities of stamina, owing from the lack of stress that their laugh-filled lifestyle gives them.[It's a good thing "gay" doesn't mean something else other than happy because we'd have a lawsuit on our hands! Woo boy! - ed][Why did I add the last entry? I'm not asking you to edit anything, after all. Note to the printer: please delete both of these annotations. - ed]
Everybody Else
Code:
Player Age G AB H 2B 3B HR RBI R BB K SB AVG
Tim McCleave 25 8 33 7 2 0 0 3 2 0 0 0 .212 C(8)
Infield
Hegarty Babbage 2B(115)
Code:
Year Team/League Age G AB H 2B 3B HR RBI R BB K SB AVG
1901 Detroit - AL 28 21 78 20 3 2 0 8 3 6 10 0 .256
1902 Detroit - AL 29 115 464 112 15 3 3 48 54 27 29 7 .241
There sure are a lot of Irishmen on this team. We just now noticed that because we are so color-blind. We don't mind, really. We like the Irish just as much as the next guy, provided the next guy also doesn't want them buying property in our neighborhood. It's just... why do they all have to be this bad?
Brodie "The Dive" Swan 3B(122)
Code:
Year Team/League Age G AB H 2B 3B HR RBI R BB K SB AVG
1901 Detroit - AL 22 108 414 116 23 10 3 53 57 39 38 1 .280
1902 Detroit - AL 23 124 485 98 22 4 2 41 53 41 32 1 .202
Okay, we admit it. We gave Brodie Swan the nickname because of his last name. That being said, it's not our fault he chose to fulfill it by composing a season-long
Swan Lake style descent. There's no good point to bring out of this. He was bad in the beginning, middle, and end of the season. We're going to give him one more chance but that's it.
Max Fitzgerald 3B(19), 2B(16), SS(2)
Code:
Year Team/League Age G AB H 2B 3B HR RBI R BB K SB AVG
1901 Detroit - AL 29 44 150 32 3 3 0 8 13 4 19 2 .213
1902 Detroit - AL 30 58 171 43 5 3 0 21 20 6 11 6 .251
One of the best things Brodie Swan has going for him is that this is the guy pushing him. Pushing may be too strong of a word. Gently caressing his back, perhaps?
Montrell "Sandman" Liotta SS(78)
Code:
Year Team/League Age G AB H 2B 3B HR RBI R BB K SB AVG
1900 New York - NL 25 107 340 94 14 8 1 33 46 11 36 25 .276
1901 New York - NL 26 107 429 103 10 6 0 45 54 16 49 31 .240
1902 Baltimore - AL 27 7 21 4 0 0 0 1 4 2 3 3 .190
1902 Detroit - AL 27 78 278 73 5 5 1 21 30 7 27 26 .263
1902 Total - AL 27 85 299 77 5 5 1 22 34 9 30 29 .258
We believe that even when we're scouting out people on the waiver wire that they should have a good, interesting nickname. Nicknames denote character. Also, you don't give nicknames out to utility scrubs, do you? No. We envision a man who has ensorceled the Dream World to do his bidding, giving him the ability to make pitchers nap and then club singles and stolen bases off of them. It doesn't make a lot of sense, but such are the nature of dreams.
Kenyon "Christmas" Merrilees SS(45), 3B(1), 2B(1)
Code:
Year Team/League Age G AB H 2B 3B HR RBI R BB K SB AVG
1901 Detroit - AL 27 51 184 43 9 1 1 17 21 5 19 1 .234
1902 Detroit - AL 28 50 115 26 5 3 0 16 10 7 11 0 .226
You would think that "Christmas" Merrilees would violate our Nickname Rule, except that we were the ones who gave him the nickname and we do not know talent. He has, it should be said, done a passable job as a backup shortstop over the last two years.
Phil MacConnechy SS(35)
Code:
Year Team/League Age G AB H 2B 3B HR RBI R BB K SB AVG
1902 Detroit - AL 34 36 117 26 4 1 0 15 11 2 13 0 .222
Okay, so we admit that giving this man 117 at-bats was not the wisest of choices. In addition to the offensive numbers you see, he also might have committed almost twice as many errors as double plays for an .887 fielding average that could have been 28 points below the worst qualifying mark in the league (Sandman Liotta's .915 - hey, we never claimed to be baseball gurus).
Everybody Else
Code:
Player Age G AB H 2B 3B HR RBI R BB K SB AVG
Roger Milstead 38 13 44 13 1 0 0 4 6 1 0 2 .295 2B(11)
Outfield
Henry "Fireman" Hosler LF(139) AL Gold Glove, RF(1)
Code:
Year Team/League Age G AB H 2B 3B HR RBI R BB K SB AVG
1900 Baltimore - AA 20 48 89 16 0 0 1 4 12 6 8 0 .180
1901 Baltimore - AL 21 15 38 12 1 2 1 8 4 4 8 0 .316
1901 Detroit - AL 21 53 207 68 13 0 1 15 37 22 31 0 .329
1901 Total - AL 21 68 245 80 14 2 2 23 41 26 39 0 .327
1902 Detroit - AL 22 140 561 203 24 6 3 48 97 67 49 3 .362
Not everything we do is tainted with the aura of not knowing what we are doing. Look at this move: we trade star second baseman Pearce Fulbrook to the Baltimore Orioles for this man *and* future considerations. Not that we couldn't use Fulbrook at 2nd base, but this man is going to be a star in this league for a long, long time. Way to go, us!
Dave Wilson CF(129)
Code:
Year Team/League Age G AB H 2B 3B HR RBI R BB K SB AVG
1900 Boston - NL 22 130 360 113 11 6 3 48 49 17 33 36 .314
1901 Boston - AL 23 128 577 158 22 10 1 45 87 16 58 41 .274
1902 Detroit - AL 24 129 563 137 22 15 1 58 80 32 36 61 .243
What to make of Dave Wilson last year? On the one hand, his average plummeted and he looked every bit the converted left fielder, committing 31 errors in center. On the other, he doubled his walk rate and set career highs in steals and triples. He's still young, but if he needs to move to a corner outfield spot there's no place for him. My! That sounded almost like a coherent "baseball" sentence!
Bob "Pencil Case" Trantham RF(129)
Code:
Year Team/League Age G AB H 2B 3B HR RBI R BB K SB AVG
1900 Cleveland - AA 22 90 356 117 14 7 1 52 41 21 26 14 .329
1901 Detroit - AL 23 137 568 167 23 15 2 54 83 47 66 15 .294
1902 Detroit - AL 24 132 536 148 27 13 5 77 87 30 49 15 .276
Pencil Case's average dropped for the second straight year but otherwise it was a very solid season. He demonstrated remarkable clutch capabilities, finishing 5th in the American League in RBIs despite, to be frank, playing for this squad. Overall, it looks like the outfield is pretty much set for the next decade. Nope, no reason to draft anybody or even keep backups there.
Everybody Else
Code:
Player Age G AB H 2B 3B HR RBI R BB K SB AVG
Arthur Altichioro 20 11 41 8 0 0 0 5 4 0 1 1 .195
Clint Heath 35 40 43 10 2 2 0 5 4 0 0 0 .233
Gary O'Larkin 31 49 49 11 2 0 0 5 8 0 0 4 .224
P.G. Wodehouse 18 11 46 13 1 2 0 7 1 0 2 1 .283