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Old 11-01-2007, 07:13 PM   #148 (permalink)
Syd Thrift
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Pittsburgh Pirates 82-58, 3rd NL

Overview: It not be easy to talk like a Pirate. Nar. But talk - and use thar typewriter contraption - we must because it be our chance to discuss our team. We are not like those dorky idiot semi-pirates that solve a bunch of puzzles and collect thar booty only to spend it on pastel-colored clothing. No, we make ye walk the plank if ye talk like that. We had thar National League pennant stolen from us, we say, and that will not happen again.0

Pitching

Samuel Oullette
Code:
Year Team		Age G  W  L    IP   H   R  ER HR  BB  SO CG Sh   ERA
1900 Pittsburgh - NL	24 42 23 15 327.2 349 150 111  6  72 133 22  4	3.05
1901 Pittsburgh - NL	25 35 17 18 304.1 277 133  88  5  76 166 32  1	2.60
1902 Pittsburgh - NL	26 42 22 16 334.2 337 157 108  5  71 131 33  1	2.90
Oullette had another onna them solid seasons that make us happy he's our staff ace. From here on out we are calling him the Staff Buccaneer. For that's what he is.

Teh-Huai Wang
Code:
Year Team		Age G  W  L    IP   H   R  ER HR  BB  SO CG Sh   ERA
1900 Pittsburgh - NL	25 79  5  9 138.2 152  70  54  0  36  74  0  0	3.50
1901 Pittsburgh - NL	26 34 16  7 219.0 193  86  65  1  58 118 18  2	2.67
1902 Pittsburgh - NL	27 38 15 16 283.0 260 137  93  6  63 149 25  2	2.96
What do we do with a drunken Teh-Huai? Wang actually doesn't drink a whole lot, at least compared to his teammates, but that be close to the title of onna our sea shanties. We pirates love to sing. Wang does not love starting for a full season, but what kinda job does he expect? Swabbin' the poop deck if this keeps up.

Kenneth Cudlip
Code:
Year Team		Age G  W  L    IP   H   R  ER HR  BB  SO CG Sh   ERA
1901 Pittsburgh - NL	20 36 18 15 307.2 300 136  89  7  78 172 32  2	2.60
1902 Pittsburgh - ABA	21 29 19  7 235.2 192  80  59  4  43 106 24  6	2.25
This landlubber hurt his arm on September 1 and missed the rest o' thar year. We be worried, for it's the kind of arm hurtin' ya can't just rub some seawater on and hope that it's better. Up until that point, he be darn near the best Pirate on the mound.

Jim "Checkmate" McNeiledge
Code:
Year Team		Age G  W  L    IP   H   R  ER HR  BB  SO CG Sh   ERA
1900 Philadelphia - NL	32 45 19 22 367.1 391 168 125  6 101 108 23  5	3.06
1901 Philadelphia - AL	33 35 18 16 294.0 314 161 112  4  60 117 29  5	3.43
1902 Philadelphia - AL	34  7  4  3  63.0  55  20  13  4  13  17  7  0	1.86
1902 Philadelphia - NL	34  4  2  2  31.0  34  21  13  1   7   9  3  0	3.77
1902 Pittsburgh - NL	34 26 17  7 222.2 211  87  65  2  29  64 22  3	2.63
1902 Total - ABA	34 37 23 12 316.2 300 128  91  7  49  90 32  3	2.59
Checkmate did see him some sights last year. First he jumped back from the Americanners to the Nationals in Phil-ar-delphia, then he threatened to flip back so they traded him to us hearty mates for a washed-up Chris Tippett and a sack of doubloons. We were happy with him and don't mind if we do put him back in thar rotation next year.

Patrick Pearse
Code:
Year Team		Age G  W  L    IP   H   R  ER HR  BB  SO CG Sh   ERA
1902 Pittsburgh - NL	24 14  6  7 121.1 114  61  42  0  46  41 13  2	3.12
Pearse looked alright but he just wasn't quite ready. Landlubbers had better look out, for it won't be long until he'll be blowin' away people with his drop-shoot and another pitch he throws that we will keep secret.

Everyone Else
Code:
Name			Age G  W  L    IP   H   R  ER HR  BB  SO CG Sh   ERA
Kerry Osbaldeston	29 10  3  4  61.1  62      24  1   7  11	3.52
Chris Tippett		34  3  0  1   9.1   6	    2  0   5   1	1.93
Catcher and First Base

Mark Miller C(85)
Code:
Year Team/League	Age  G	AB   H 2B 3B HR	RBI   R	 BB   K	 SB  AVG
1900 Pittsburgh - NL	26 129 502 172 14  4  7	 78  83	 33  27	  0 .343
1902 Pittsburgh - NL	28  93 332  93 13  2  0	 45  33	 16  14	  0 .280
Miller spent all of 1901 in bed recovering from a head injury he suffered at the end of spring training. Bleedin' ugly, it was. We thought he was a goner, at least from baseball. Fortunately for us he came back and had a good year, considerin'. We pirates don't like ta make excuses, but holy bejeezers.

Alfred Eberhart C(49)
Code:
Year Team/League	Age  G	AB   H 2B 3B HR	RBI   R	 BB   K	 SB  AVG
1900 Pittsburgh - NL	27  92 149  33	4  1  0	 22  14	 11  13	  1 .221
1901 Pittsburgh - NL	28  63 207  59 11  8  2	 29  34	 17  22	  0 .285
1902 Pittsburgh - NL	29  56 191  48	8  4  1	 31  23	 15  13	  0 .251
Eberhart is a fine specimen of a backup backstop. Yar har har! We made a funny!

Mark Lucott 1B(140)
Code:
Year Team/League	Age  G	AB   H 2B 3B HR	RBI   R	 BB   K	 SB  AVG
1900 Pittsburgh - NL	27 154 636 208 28  6  4	106  96	 61  29	  3 .327
1901 Pittsburgh - NL	28 137 548 173 29  9  3	 83  71	 51  34	  0 .316
1902 Pittsburgh - NL	29 140 590 176 31  5  4	 92  84	 59  16	  3 .298
Lucott has missed 3 games in the past 3 years. He strikes out as often as he sits down, and in the field has been known to pull on a man's belt as he's taggin' up for second base. He's our kinda Pirate.

Everybody Else
Code:
Player			Age  G	AB   H 2B 3B HR	RBI   R	 BB   K	 SB  AVG
Ray Ellis		21  10	48  12	1  4  0	  7   4	  1   3   0 .250 C(10)
Infield

Tim William 2B(92), SS(51)
Code:
Year Team/League	Age  G	AB   H 2B 3B HR	RBI   R	 BB   K	 SB  AVG
1900 Chicago - AA	32 143 507 155 17  7  4	 50 111	 87  17	 28 .306
1901 Chicago - NL	33  34 123  29	3  3  1	 15  20	 19   6	  4 .236
1901 Pittsburgh - NL	33  95 376 125 11 10  5	 48  68	 44  18	  6 .332
1901 Total - NL		33 129 499 154 14 13  6	 63  88	 63  24	 10 .309
1902 Pittsburgh - NL	34 135 503 140 26 12  5	 98  83	 74  16	 19 .278
Scurvy dogs like Tim William don't get older, they just get... ar, I suppose they do get older. But they stay good as they get old. William had the pirate's gift of clutch last season, leadin' his league in ribeyes for the second time in his career and just missing 100.

Gianlucca Pezzo 2B(59)
Code:
Year Team/League	Age  G	AB   H 2B 3B HR	RBI   R	 BB   K	 SB  AVG
1900 Pittsburgh - AA	22 132 497 131 11  6  3	 66  84	 46  30	 14 .264
1901 Pittsburgh - NL	23 120 455  98 12 10  1	 52  68	 42  54	  9 .215
1902 Pittsburgh - NL	24  60 184  36	5  2  0	 20  23	 14  13	  3 .196
Pezzo is a surehanded second baseman that the Pirates would love to continue to start at the position, but he just can't hit enough to avoid walking the plank. Last year he committed 2 errors in 296 chances, which is great if you are not a landlubber.

George "Smooth" Theodore 3B(133)
Code:
Year Team/League	Age  G	AB   H 2B 3B HR	RBI   R	 BB   K	 SB  AVG
1900 Pittsburgh - AA	23 146 559 172 20  6 12	 96  90	 81  23	  0 .308
1901 Pittsburgh - NL	24  74 266  75 15  4  5	 45  37	 53  15	  0 .282
1902 Pittsburgh - NL	25 133 480 143 23  6  2	 65  93	117  10	  1 .298
Just because the sportswriters ignore Smooth Theodore does not mean that pitchers do the same. Last year he led all of baseball in free passes to first base. Even though he's only stolen one base in 3 years - is this the way a pirate acts? - he also just missed scoring a hundred times last year. A finer third baseman there could not be.

Monk Eastman SS(92)
Code:
Year Team/League	Age  G	AB   H 2B 3B HR	RBI   R	 BB   K	 SB  AVG
1901 Pittsburgh - NL	21   5	18   3	0  0  0	  1   2	  0   3	  2 .167
1902 Pittsburgh - NL	22  92 324  89 13  1  1	 42  42	 36  29	  1 .275
Eastman's scary visage, complete with wide mustache, makes him in many ways the Ultimate Pirate. He does not clout the ball like some of his teammates, though, so for now that honor shall be kept.

Everybody Else
Code:
Player			Age  G	AB   H 2B 3B HR	RBI   R	 BB   K	 SB  AVG
Shane Rathmell		27  26	70  11	1  1  1	  7   8	  0   4   1 .157 3B(10), SS(9), 2B(4), 1B(1)
Outfield

David Cook LF(131) NL Rookie of the Year
Code:
Year Team/League	Age  G	AB   H 2B 3B HR	RBI   R	 BB   K	 SB  AVG
1901 Pittsburgh - NL	20  29	73  24	3  1  0	 11  15	  4   8	  0 .329
1902 Pittsburgh - NL	21 134 571 172 29  7  1	 70  78	 38  36	  6 .301
Boy, did John Choate pick a bad year to get hurted up. His replacement David Cook came in and looked nearly as good as Choate ever did at the plate - okay, perhaps that is overstating things, but you know how we pirates get - and far, far better afield than the fumble-fingered superstar. As a result, Choate is likely headed to yet another team.

Johnston "Captain Kid" Long CF(127) NL Most Valuable Player
Code:
Year Team/League	Age  G	AB   H 2B 3B HR	RBI   R	 BB   K	 SB  AVG
1900 Pittsburgh - AA	22 143 535 165 20  7 11	 62 136	133  26	 53 .308
1901 Pittsburgh - NL	23 138 540 174 25 18  7	 58 120	112  44	 28 .322
1902 Pittsburgh - NL	24 128 517 175 25 16  8	 63 125	101  19	 59 .338
Although for a couple months it looked like Long might actually manage to finish the season reaching base on more than half of his trips at bat before he slumped a little, it is hard to call last year a disappointment. Long proved that he is still growing as a ballplayer. He says he won't stop until the Pirates win a World Series or he "gets in on some of that Bluebeard action", 'twatever that should mean.

Ned Kelly Jr. RF(124)
Code:
Year Team/League	Age  G	AB   H 2B 3B HR	RBI   R	 BB   K	 SB  AVG
1900 Pittsburgh - AA	22  32	50  18	1  0  2	 15  13	  8   3	  1 .360
1901 Pittsburgh - NL	23 117 493 128 22  8  6	 63  77	 44  29	  8 .260
1902 Pittsburgh - NL	24 124 509 156 38 19  8	 82  95	 55  32	 10 .306
If there was such an award as "Sophomore of the Year", we suspect Ned Kelly would have won it, aye. Then again, there are so many young players on the Pirates roster that maybe they would have awarded it to someone else instead. Then we would have stolen it, for we are pirates.

Everybody Else
Code:
Player			Age  G	AB   H 2B 3B HR	RBI   R	 BB   K	 SB  AVG
John Bebbington		38  40	92  22	1  0  2	 13   6	  2   5   2 .239 CF(15), RF(5), LF(2)
Jon Wellwood		27  53 117  35	5  4  0	 11  17	  6   8   3 .299 RF(15), LF(8)
__________________
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You bastard....
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