Bad news, reader: I'm an idiot.
Installing a new Linux distribution on my
OOTP machine, I meant to only reformat the root partition, thus leaving all my data intact. However, I realised too late that the unintelligent installation program had no idea what a partition was and was, in fact, reformatting my entire hard drive.
Particularly the only copy of my
OOTP story.
Therefore, this story is at an untimely end. I'm sure at some point I'll give another one a whirl. I just need an idea first.