[mikehoudini]

BINK GAZETTE August 11, 2008

Another printer strike in Baltimore was narrowly averted, but the backlog caused a delay in publishing this edition of the Gazette! Buoyed in spirit after an upset win over the doughty Saint Louis Sluggers, the Binks went on the road for their next match, a July 24 encounter against another division rival, the dastardly Diggstown Ringers. Back in Week 4, on June 16, the Ringers visited Baltimore and nudged our heroes, 53-48.5. Embroiled in a battle for first place with Bears Unstable, and in a fight for the wild card, the Diggstown lads were hoping to fatten up on the Binks.

But the Binkies were on a mission to be dream-breakers rather than king-makers, and, as the Bink bus made its way through the country setting of New Jersey, the home of Jersey-Jim and the Prof, they admired the idyllic scenery, all the while plotting revenge on the Ringers! Two more buses accompanied the team, led by Bunky from Highlandtown, ready to cheer and have a ruckus in Hartford!

Amina Sade and her friends were on the Bink bus for this, the final road trip of the year. They were enthralled with and took care of the Bink mascot, Jubilee the saber-toothed Devil Boy, who had possibly intimidated the Sluggers along with his sidekick, Miss Mooey from St. Looey! Miss Mooey was staying in Baltimore, but another cat, Murphy Stout, was making the trip in her place. When I saw the fuss Amina and her friends were making over Jubilee and Murphy, I wished that I were a feline!

Mack Lewis and team captain Hasim Rahman made impassioned pre-match speeches, and the Binks were ready to go hunting in Hartford! Jackie Brown opened the festivities with a majority decision over Fernando Baja, a decision that stunned the knowledgeable fight fans, as many thought Jackie had dominated the fight. Chocky Chockvivat then knocked out higher-rated Eric Ortiz, but the Ringer flyweight division was generally bereft of talent. The other divisions were more representative of Diggstown’s power.

Boots Monroe continued his resurgence from the cesspool, upsetting Khaokar Galaxy in a thrilling match. Galaxy was now 12-4-1, and Boots had triumphed over him twice! After another quick exit by Danny O’Sullivan, the Bink faithful were cheering as Young Corbett II stopped Welcome Ncita in 11, and scrappy Jose Badillo upset Derrick Gainer with a booming 5th round uppercut!

Buzzsaw Yamabe waged a war with Rolando Navarrete, but was stopped on a TKO in 10. Bummy Davis had Cornelius Boza-Edwards (11-5) on the ropes, but ran out of steam and was stopped in 7. The matches then went back and forth, but Baltimore was hurt when Rahman was stopped in the 4th on a TKO.

Still, at halftime, the bouts were 8-8, and the point totals were 25.5-25, Diggstown leading by a gnat’s whisker! Amina and friends had been vocal in their support as the Binks repaired to their dressing room for halftime. Would they return and weaken, as they’d done in Baltimore, or would the training in the capacious training center of the Toronto Tornados carry over?

Jackie Brown and Chocky both KOd their opponents to start off the 2nd half, as Chocky’s stoppage rate continued to astound. Boots Monroe was dropped in 4 by Alimi Goitia, and Danny O’Sullivan suffered a KO loss to Galaxy. The Binks dug themselves a hole when Jose Badillo was stopped and Young Corbett II was upset by featherweight Derrick Gainer in a fight he was leading!

Buzzsaw Yamabe had a sweet upset win over Boza-Edwards, now 12-6, but Navarrete avenged a prior defeat by knocking Bummy Davis out. Bummy has been snake-bit of late, dropping his last eight matches!

Tommy West’s skills have gone south, and his losing streak hit 7 as he was knocked out for the 2nd time in the match, but Cocoa Kid, who had won against 11-6-1 Crisanto Espana, stepped up and whipped Arturo Gatti, avenging a prior knockout! Quietly, without much fanfare, the Kid has amassed a 14-3-1 record, best on the Binks!

Hard-Luck Henry Hank, who had suffered a rare stoppage at the hands of Kelly Pavlik, whipped Tony Chiaverini, then the season surprise to date, plucky Max Resch, took Pavlik the full 12 rounds, in a bout some observers felt could have gone Max’s way. Earlier, he stopped Chiaverini, and his record is a very respectable 8-10, great for a level 4 fighter!

Lightheavies Melio Bettina and Oakland Billy Smith continued the Bink charge. Melio, who had decisioned Mike Rossman, knocked out Karoly Balzsay (12-6), and is now 11-7 himself! Balzsay had stopped Oakland Billy, who returned the favor against Rossman.

Billy Daniels is getting better week by week. He took Vassily Jirov all the way, and now was right there with Ingemar Johansson until a hook stopped him in Round 10! Hasim Rahman took Jirov out early in Round 1, and the accountants tallied up the results.

What a match, 16 wins for each team! Diggstown prevailed by the narrowest margin, 53-51.5, as the Binks were just one victory away from a win against their vaunted foes! Jubilee and Murphy had intimidated a few Ringers, but the talent-laden Ringers had just enough to garner the win. Alas, the judges weren’t seated close enough to the felines, so they did not appear to be affected.

Though a bit down after this narrow defeat, the Binks took solace in the fact that Diggstown hadn’t fattened up on them. It would remain to be seen how much the Bink blows softened up the Ringers for their regular season finale! The Binks were now 127-152-9, in last place in the Cribb Division with 409 points (Diggstown has 482.5). Still, if one could take away the two blowouts suffered by the Binks, to Brooks Battlers and the Hebron Haymakers, their record would be much more respectable!

Melio Bettina and the Cocoa Kid shared Fighter of the Week honor! Both avenged a prior loss to a Diggstown battler. Chocky Chockvivat, perennial crowd-pleaser, was right behind them with two big knockouts! These three did fine!

In terms of the Bum of the Week award, our young lads, Tommy West and Danny O’Sullivan, copped this dubious award. Just one win from the pair of them, or at least going the distance in defeat, would have changed this match into the win column.

The Binks close at home against the mighty Bears Unstable. This match bodes well for this scrappy bunch that just won’t give up. Mack Lewis informed me that the Binks are finally getting to where he’d hoped them to be this season after they had a few matches under their belts. Perhaps they’ll surprise the powerhouse Unstablers?

The Binks were sad as their bus chugged down the New Jersey Turnpike, for they had learned that the Hebron Haymakers had ruthlessly savaged their good friends, the Toronto Tornados. In a truth is stranger than fiction setting, Bunky and crew decided to do something about that, and their buses remained in Hartford, making a little journey to trash the Haymaker facility.

The best-laid plans of mice and men go oft astray! Bunk and the boys, who must have the brains of mice, laid waste mistakenly to an abandoned warehouse that was awaiting demolition. Worse yet, they left several copies of the Bink Gazette at the scene, as they had set fire to the papers, but a brief rain shower put the fire out! The good news is that they evaded any Hartford pursuit and soon were making their way back to B-more, thinking of how they’d put the Haymakers in their place. Fortunately, the damages were minimal, Mikehoudini made a check out to the city of Hartford and peace was restored.

The final match of the season, which may be delayed until after the Olympics, should be a good one, and ticket sales to date have been brisk. No, we still haven’t learned what a Bink is, but this reporter hasn’t given up that quest! Bink fever, catch it! You’ll only wish you died!