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As Andrew Zarzour threw his warm-up tosses to bullpen catcher Michael Barrett, he struggled to contain the wave of emotions and thoughts surrounding him.
Of course, there was plenty of excitement. The 7-foot-2 left-hander was getting ready for playoff baseball in front of the home fans in Philadelphia — everything you dream about as a ballplayer.
But this wasn’t just a playoff game, this was an elimination game. This was Game Five of the National League Divisional Series against the Arizona Diamondbacks. The winner moves on to play another day. The loser turns in the equipment for the season and gets to ponder the big “what if" questions for months. The hopes of Phillies Nation rested pretty squarely on the Big Z’s shoulders.
The last time Zarzour started in an elimination game, it was Game Seven of the NLCS against the Astros two seasons ago. Philadelphia lost a tough one, 2-1. Zarzour had pitched an “almost great” game, according to the Philly papers. He had struck out 10 and surrendered just three hits during his time on the hill. But he made mistakes, too, walking three and opening the door just enough for Houston to squeeze through for the win.
Zarzour had come a long ways in those two years since that defeat, but the memory of being “almost great” still stuck with him. And he hadn’t pitched very well earlier in this series with Arizona. Philadelphia won Game Two, but Zarzour’s bullpen had to bail him out after he gave up three home runs early on.
Of course, every time a team even hits one home run against Zarzour, the press jumps all over memories of Zarzour’s FIVE home runs surrendered in the World Series several years ago while with the Dodgers. Is the old Zarzour coming out again, the papers mused after the earlier start against Arizona? Maybe Zarzour isn’t a playoff pitcher and can‘t handle the pressure, others pondered. One blog suggested that Philadelphia give the ball to someone else for such an important game. That one hurt.
In the background of all of this was the fact that neither of Zarzour's parents were going to be in the crowd this night in Philadelphia. His mom was terribly sick and couldn‘t make the trip from North Carolina. His dad, worried about his bride of many years, stayed behind to tend to her needs. The doctors couldn’t exactly pinpoint what was wrong with her either. She's had a tough time breathing the past few weeks and often felt sapped of energy. Two nights ago, she stayed in the bathroom for hours throwing up.
She had been through about every test imaginable the past. Andrew‘s dad surmised that the weight and worry of having her youngest son Timmy still away at war — especially considering hopes had been raised for his return earlier in the summer — finally was taking its toll on her.
“She keeps telling me she has dreams that Timmy never makes it home,” Andrew‘s dad had told him a few nights ago. “I think she‘s just worried herself absolutely sick. You know you’re mother. She’s a strong woman with a strong faith, but this is just licking her right now. She can’t sleep. She can’t concentrate. She doesn’t want to eat. I’ve never seen her like this…”
As all these thoughts brewed in his mind, Zarzour threw his final warm-up toss to Barrett, a fastball that if radars had been around would have clocked 99 mph.
“Hey Z, we’re behind you tonight,” Barrett told him, looking into his eyes and putting an arm around his pitcher's shoulder. “You just go do your job and everyone else will do theirs, OK? And we‘ll win...”
Andrew definitely needed to hear that …
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