View Single Post
Old 07-25-2009, 08:45 PM   #16 (permalink)
Syd Thrift
Hall Of Famer
 
Syd Thrift's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2004
Posts: 4,296
Thanks: 137
Thanked 336x in 161 posts
October 3, 1932

Philadelphia Man Blasts 40th Home Run In Loss
Remi Parent Reaches Plateau Previously Thought Unreachable

The season may be more or less over for the Philadelphia Phillies but the fans still have something to cheer about. Yesterday Remi Parent blasted his league-record 40th home run in a loss to the Brooklyn Dodgers. "Yes, we'd ratheur have zee win, uohohoho", said the giant French-Canadian from Saskatoon, "but I likes to hit zee ball very far anyway." Parent comes from a family of loggers who occasionally have to fend off outsiders who are afraid of their subversive accents. As such, he developed some very strong arm and shoulder muscles, which allow him to propel a baseball much further than previously thought capable.

The fact that the Phillies lost this one in the ninth thanks to another blown save by "closer" Francisco Gomez (his 9th, against 13 saves) almost doesn't matter to Phillies fanatics. They're used to watching this team give up nearly as many runs as they score, then occasionally hammer a ballclub 20-3 in a grand display of hitting talent. The statheads tell us that this team should not be 72-77 given that they've scored 65 runs more than they've given up (935-870) but there is a reason why these people still live with their mother.

Code:
Team              W  L   PCT  GB Home  Away XInn 1Run M# Str Last10 
New York Yankees  91 57 .615   - 43-32 48-25 7-5 14-17 6 W1  5-5 
Chicago White Sox 88 58 .603 2.0 41-30 47-28 6-5 11-20   W3  6-4
Code:
American League

Detroit Tigers   0 0 0 2 0 0 1 0 1  4  9 1 
New York Yankees 3 0 0 0 2 0 3 0 X  8 12 0 


HR: DET: C. Parson (12, 4th Inning off A. Hack, 1 on, 1 out)
    NYY: M. Kennedy (17, 1st Inning off E. Overcash, 1 on, 0 outs)

w: A. Hack (9-1) L: E. Overcash (14-13) S: None

Chicago White Stockings 0 7 0 2 0 1 0 0 0  10 17 1 
Boston Red Sox          1 1 0 2 1 0 1 0 0   6 10 2 

Home Runs: None

W: A. LeBron (2-1) L: A. Rees (2-6) S: None
Code:
National League

Chicago Cubs    0 1 2 4 0 0 0 4 1  12 17 1 
New York Giants 0 0 0 2 0 1 0 0 1   4  9 2 

Home Runs: CHN T. Battle (15, 4th Inning off L. Alport, 1 on, 1 out) 
               E. Lantz (12, 8th Inning off W. Morin, 0 on, 0 outs) 
           NYG None

W: D. Smith (10-5) L: L. Alport (19-10) S: None

Philadelphia Phillies 0 0 0 0 6 1 2 0 1  10 17 5 
Brooklyn Dodgers      1 0 0 1 1 0 1 3 4  11 14 1 

Home Runs: PHN O. Moyer (14, 5th Inning off T. Cole, 2 on, 1 out)
               R. Parent (40, 7th Inning off Á. Olivarez, 1 on, 2 outs)
           NYG T. Hardy (9, 7th Inning off G. Hayden, 0 on, 0 outs)

W: C. Mahone (4-10) L: F. Gomez (6-6) Sv: None
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by John Hodgman
I didn't know that a dinosaur could do that much cocaine.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Markus Heinsohn
You bastard....
Syd Thrift is offline   Reply With Quote