|
Refreshing.
First off, most career dynasties I see are about high school phenoms getting ready to start potential HoF careers - not a common uhm.. Jonas with a bit of a belly trying to just not be cut.
Second, I think the breezy, casual first person narrative works for you. This reads a lot like Sparky Lyle's "Bronx Zoo" without the challenges (and restrictions on your story) of MLB.
Good luck!
|