[mikev]

Crusaders To Appoint Assistant GM?

Citing various clubhouse and/or personal issues, the California Crusaders have announced that they will take on renowned hippie Jeremy Reinholt as Assistant General Manager in order to alleviate some of the pressure on current GM Mike Voelker.

Reinholt recently stepped down after leading Pago Pago out of the ashes and into a trifecta of playoff appearances. Renowned in the GUBA as both a rebuilding genius and a master at pulling off trades, the expectations are that Reinholt will assist in the rebuild of the once mighty Crusaders, who lost 100 games for the first time in franchise history in 2022.

"Well, sure, I have no problem saying that I need some help," remarked Voelker. "When you have the chance to get a guy that's one of the best at rebuilding, and to get that sort of guidance, yeah I think you're a fool not to welcome that help."

"Also, I've never had a pair of Birkenstocks, so I'm looking forward to changing things up a bit here. I could probably stand to eat a little healthier, so we'll be bringing in a whole slew of new food vendors and carts around the stadium. Soy, tofu, free range beef, cage free chicken, granola, and microbrews everywhere. We're from California, and by god we're going to embrace that. Jeremy can help that."

No offical numbers on compensation as Assistant GM have been released, however some sources around the front office have said they heard the terms "rainbows and hashish" floated around the big office in the corner.

The 2023 Crusaders: The Rebuild just got a little more interesting.