[cknox0723]

It's now seven straight losses, and today's matchup isn't looking too keen. As you'd read in the newspaper under "Today's Probable Starters":

CHICAGO (A) @ SEATTLE, 3:05 PM.

CHW: N. Cornejo (0-2, 5.82)
SEA: O. Perez (3-0, 0.66)

So, yeah, that's not inspiring me too much. But we're well past the point of logic, so who knows? And Mr. Perez, who's allowed just 15 hits in 27 innings, is due for a painful fall from grace. It's DIPS theory, of course. Hopefully we can catch a bit of that.

But early on, we seem as though we wouldn't be able to catch a cold. Perez sets us down in order in the first and Nate Cornejo proceeds in his typical destructive fashion, handing out walks like they're going out of style, and finally surrendering a 3-run double to Rich Aurilia. He finally gets out of the inning, but by then, we're in a 4-0 hole.

We stumble our way through the next few innings before momentarily awakening in the fourth, mostly due to luck, as a Bret Boone error and a free pass (drawn by D.Y.) give us a threat. I want to send the runners, just to add to our stolen base stats, but I let Magglio Ordonez hit, and he rewards me with a base hit to left. Dan Pasqua waves Julio Lugo home, and I guess Ichiro!'s arm isn't overrated after all, as Lugo is nailed by a perfect throw. Neverthless, both runners move up, so we've still got a good chance to score. We do, believe it or not, but it's only one, as Frank Thomas grounds out to short and Joe Borchard lines out to first.

But Nate The Great gives it right back in the bottom half, hanging a 2-0 slider to Bret Boone. It nearly gets worse, but we stop booting the ball just in time to turn an inning-ending 4-6-3 D.P.

The same can't be said for the fifth, though, as we go down quickly and Cornejo completely falls apart, walking the bases loaded in the blink of an eye. Predictably, he surrenders two runs (on yet anotherhit by Mr. "Where's The 2nd 'T'?") before the inning's over.

There's a glimmer of hope in the sixth when D.Y. goes yard, but Jon Adkins gives The Sailors plenty of recompense in the bottom of the inning, and he and Ryan Meaux (pitching for the first time in weeks) give up five in the seventh, including a 3-run bomb by Adam Dunn that landed somewhere in the Pacific Ocean.

So down 14-2 in the eighth, and having pinch-hit c.f. chen for Jon Adkins, I make the crucial decision to bring in Enrique Wilson to pitch. He strikes out rookie third sacker Mark Schramek, gets Bret Boone (who had been 4-4) to fly out, and after a double by Ben Davis (that's horsesh*t, doubling in a 14-2 game - bonus points to those who understand the reference), Quinton McCracken steps up. And Q grounds to second. Folks, we've found our newest go-to relief ace.

Yes, I know - but I've got to have a sense of humor about this, or else I'll just be typing "WTF?!?!!111!!!" over and over again. There is something to consider, though, and that is that this team might really be this bad. Doesn't have to be that way, though.

CHW 2 SEA 14

WP: O. Perez (4-0) - 7 IP, 4 H, 2 R, 1 BB, 7 K (so much for regression to the mean, huh?)
LP: N. Cornejo (0-3) - 5 IP, 7 H, 7 R, 7 ER, 7 BB, 1 K (lots of symmetry in that line, all of which shows just how bad he really is)

Game Ball Goes To... Bret Boone, who hit well. Yeah.

Craig