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Old 08-08-2004, 01:21 AM   #92 (permalink)
jaxmagicman
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tib
Chapter 11: <i>The Crack of the Bat</i>, Part Two

He started in high school, on a dare. He was a good kid, never in trouble with the law, from a successful family. At first he used his own money to buy it, but later stole from his parents to fund his habit. By the time he was eighteen he had destroyed an otherwise decent GPA and had drained his entire college fund. Thatís why he had to declare for the draft out of high school. He was supposed to go to Texas A&M, but they caught wind of a problem and rescinded his scholarship. Thatís how his parents found out. Dave was kicked out of college before he ever went in. Dave Guevara was addicted to crack cocaine.

May I be as bold to make this suggestion to move the red text to the end of the first paragraph. I like the way that reads.
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