[Jazzmosis]

Chapter 5: Going for the books. .

May started with a press conference. Canon had pushed me into it - to this day I think he just wanted to watch me fail. At first, the questions were simple, and I thought I answered them well. It probably didn’t sound like it, since I stuttered so much. However, one reporter seemed to have a bone to pick.

“Mr. Jazzington. Are you aware that you have been ejected more than any other manager combined this year?”

“No.” I responded. “Why would I know a useless fact like that?”

I got a few chuckles from the crowd, but this reporter was ruthless. “Maybe it’s the little facts you ignore that is leading your team to failure.”

I stared at him briefly before answering. “If you think I ignore anything on my team, you’re wrong.”

“Well, given your record, I’d say you’re heading for an early retirement from managing.”

I was starting to become annoyed. “You’d be wrong again.”

“Well you ignore things like the intentional walk. You’ve only called for it once this year. And it’s burned you repeatedly. If I was managing this team, I’d give more respect to dangerous hitters.”

I was boiling over by now. “I trust my pitchers - they get the job done.”

The reporter smirked. “Not well - at least not with you behind the helm.”

That was enough for me - I wasn’t going to take any more of that crap. “I don’t see you managing this team. If you could do such a better job, why didn’t Canon call you? Maybe it’s because you’re just a reporter that doesn’t know how to do anything but write your worthless columns. Next time you want to question my decisions, get a job as a manager and prove to me that you can. Until that time, shut up.”

The room went silent - and I took advantage of that by ending the conference early. “This is it for today. Next time, ask me questions worth answering.”


Every paper, television station, and radio show had my outburst. Erwin Canon called me up to his office that day, 20 minutes before the game.

“What the hell was that conference?” He shouted, still not looking away from his computer screen.

I just left his office. “I have a game to manage.”

Canon, for the first time ever, looked up at me - but only saw my back. “Where do you think you’re going?” He screamed.

I didn’t respond. I even took the stairs so I wouldn’t have to listen to him while waiting for the elevator.

The game was pretty uneventful. There was a bad call on Aiken, which I argued - and of course, I got tossed. 2 games in a row. Apparently I was bordering on a fine. Luckily, I was avoiding it by not being violent - just mouthy.

The second game of the month was substantially better. We were deadlocked in a 3-3 tie against playoff hopeful St. Louis. They were in a 3 team tie for first in the Central, so any win they could get was a plus. However, we were in a race too - just 2 games back from Atlanta and New York. St. Louis’ best hitter, Powell, launched a ball to deep right in the 7th. The crowd went silent as Anthony Buehler tracked it. Just as the ball cleared the wall, he leapt and snagged it, pulling it back in from the bullpen. The crowd went insane. The dugout went insane. That sparked a shift in momentum - that the Marlins finally capitalized on in extra innings.

In the bottom of the tenth, backup outfielder Eric Harris, or “Mr. Clutch”, as I was beginning to name him, rapped a leadoff double to the wall. I subbed in pinch hitter Gerald Sampson, who grounded out. Slick fielding, poor-hitting shortstop Harold Hanover cloned Sampson's display. I was nervous with anticipation, as this was becoming all to familiar again. We hadn’t been capitalizing or scoring runs. To top it off, Look was stepping up to the plate. I couldn’t pinch hit him - I didn’t have anyone left on the bench. I crossed my fingers as he stepped into the box for only the 4th time in his career. He pulled off a walk, on 9 pitches. Then, red hot Dewberry stepped into the box - he lead the team in hits, average, home runs, RBIs, and slugging. He also was a massive pull hitter. On the first pitch, he knocked a shot down the line - the first base line. It got by the diving first baseman, and Harris scored easily. As the team rushed out to swamp Harris and Dewberry, I slipped on my own sweat that was pouring off my body.

As if that wasn’t enough tension, on May 4th, Jonas Sarabia, my strikeout whizz, pulled his tendon - and was done for 5 weeks. The pitching was bad enough already, but now I didn’t have a number 2 guy.

After a phone call to Canon, he finally got off his ass and made a deal. By the next morning, Canon had traded Guilles Ramos, my number five man, and two AA prospects to Kansas City for ready-for-majors prospect John Torkelson.

That day, I got ejected for a major-league leading 6th time. Apparently I was on pace to shatter the one-year ejection record for a manager, which was 16, by current Colorado manager Eppstein Hepablap, in 1995. His name always made me laugh.

However, the real story was that I had silenced some critics and put us back at .500. The pitching was coming together, although Torkelson wasn’t scheduled for his debut until the 9th. By May 7th, we were in a three-way tie for first, and one game over .500. However, we visited Colorado for 3 games - and got swept. Canon was furious. I didn’t know what to say - I hardly listened to him anymore. Dewberry was slumping, although still leading the team in everything offensive. Torkelson impressed me, and many others when he made his debut - a complete game, which should have been a win, except for a walk-off home run with two outs in the bottom of the ninth.

I tried to console him, but he was upset for a few days. I told him things like that would happen from time to time. Come on, he had pitched the first complete game for the Marlins this year, and the first of my managerial career - a 5 hitter with one mistake. We lost that game 3-2.

However, the sweep from Colorado, who was 26-12 to our 18-20, bumped us back to third, two games from Atlanta.


Personally, Lacey and I were having a great time. I was completely lost for what to say most of the time, but she didn’t seem to care. We were taking it slow, which was perfect - I had so much on my plate that I didn't want to worry about her all the time. Look and Dewberry always jeered me about that barbeque. I wanted to jeer back, but how could I? Look had a 0.68 ERA and 3 wins in 13 innings with no walks, and Dewberry was the cornerstone of the offense. Besides, I would need to get to know them better before I could really start playing pranks on them. And yes, I was still waiting for the right moment to steal Erwin Canon’s placard.


My dad had called me for the first time since I moved out. He lectured me about my temper and told me about my sister becoming engaged. When I look back on it, there was so much that I missed at home - but I never regret leaving.

Coming soon: Chapter 6: Rolling along