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July 1st, 3004
At the All-Star Break, 4 deities have disappointed their devotees by failing to make their respective league's All-Star teams. Sikh icon Guru Nahak, Scientology icon A Thetan, Buddhist icon Siddhartha Guatama and Sumerian icon Enlil will all be watching the All-Star game from the comfort of their living rooms.
Guru Nahak seems to be drawing the most ire from followers and fellow teammates as he has only managed to post a .357 batting average which pales in comparison to the next lowest deity, Awonawilona, who is hitting .403. One unnamed teammate was quoted as saying: ".357?! What kind of deity hits .357? Seems to me that Albert Pujols should have his own religion if that's the case...even though that was 1000 years ago..." We'll see if Guru Nahak can turn things around and really start to light things up.
Monthly Highlights:
6/5/3004 - Celeveland Catcher Enlil goes 3-3 with 3 HRs and 5 RBI in a 11-5 victory over Raleigh.
6/6/3004 - Feeding off the success of fellow Ohio Catcher Enlil, Cincinnati Catcher Jupiter crushes 3 Home Runs with 7 RBI in a 15-6 win over New Orleans.
6/7/3004 - Sumerian deity Enlil (.611 / 13 RBI / .750 OBP) and Pueblo Indian deity Awonawilona (.650 / 16 RBI) win Player of the Week Awards
6/14/3004 - Voodoo deity Bondje (.542 / 7 RBI / .607 OBP) and Norse god Odin (.714 / 15 RBI / 2.000 SLG) win Player of the Week Awards
6/18/3004 - Pittsburgh's mortal Manny Salinas NO-HITS Buffalo. Islamic deity Mohammed, Buffalo's Right Fielder, rested for most of the game with a scheduled day off. He was 0-1 in a pinch hit situation late.
6/20/3004 - Abraham (.524 / 5 HR / 11 RBI) and Mayan Hunab Ku (.545 / 3 HR / 7 RBI) win Player of the Week Awards
6/25/3004 - Voodoo deity Bondje hits for the cycle for the second time in 3 months against the Satan-led Orlando squad. Hartford won the game 8-6.
6/26/3004 - Not to be outdone, Zulu deity and Norfolk first baseman uKqili hits for the cycle against Charlotte. Norfolk won the game 10-9.
6/29/3004 - Memphis left fielder Jesus Christ goes 5-5 with 2 home runs (ironically, both off of curve balls) in a 10-5 victory over Houston.
7/1/3004 - Abraham (.483 / 17 HR / 36 RBI) and Odin of Gadsden (.547 / 42 RBI / .625 OBP) win Batter of the Month Awards.
Deity BA Leader: Bondje .516
Deity HR Leader: Odin 50
Deity RBI Leader: Odin 136
Deity SB Leader: Bondje / Lao-tzu 58
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