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June 1st, 3006
The month of May saw Guru Nahak continuing to collect RBIs as fervently as Satan collects the souls of aspiring actors. Two months into the season, Nahak has driven in 94 runs, is averaging just under 2 RBI *per game* and is on pace to collect about 290 RBI. This would absolutely destroy the DCL Season RBI Record currently held by Gadsden's Norse God Odin, who collected 229 RBI in the DCL inaugural season. He is also averaging a HR every 4.5 at-bats and is on pace to finish the season with just under 120 HRs! This would also obliterate the current DCL Season HR record (95 by Ometeotl in 3004.) Obviously, two months are certainly not enough to discern anything more than possibilities, but those are some impressive possibilities...we'll keep our eyes on Guru Nahak to see if the New Orleans catcher can maintain a pace as torrid as Chasey Lain sucking down raw oysters.
Also, for the first time in DCL history (exlcuding the first week following the All-Star Breaks) a mere mortal has won a Player of the Week Award! We'll have to see if this is a wake-up call for our UL deities!
Monthly Highlights
5/1/3006 - Cincinnati Catcher Jupiter carries his team to victory with a 3 HR / 5 RBI day in an 11-10 win over Stockton.
5/1/3006 - Plenty of deities have homered 3 times in a game, but Atlanta Catcher Viracocha raised the bar as he homers in the first, third, sixth and ninth innings, going 4-5 with 4 HRs, 4 Runs Scored and 7 RBI. Viracocha's 9th inning Grand Slam turns out to be the difference as Oklahoma City scores twice in the bottom of the 9th, but loses the game 10-7.
5/3/3006 - Orlando CF Satan (.636 / 7 HR / 8 RBI / 1.773 SLG) and Cincinnati Catcher Jupiter (.667 / 8 HR / 10 RBI / 2.278 SLG) each win Player of the Week.
5/5/3006 - New York Catcher and Pueblo Indian deity Awonawilona goes 4 for 5 with 3 HRs, 3 runs scored and 7 RBI in New York's 11-6 win in Chicago.
5/5/3006 - Pittsburgh CF Ometeotl hits three solo homeruns in Pittsburgh's 11-6 win in Stockton. On the day, the Aztec God was 3 for 4, scored 4 runs and drove in 3.
5/10/3006 - Memphis LF Jesus Christ (.500 / 8 HR / 16 RBI / 1.467 SLG) wins his 5th career Player of the Week Award. In the UL, Columbus SS Vishnu (.692 / 6 RBI) pulls down his 5th career PotW.
5/11/3006 - Pittsburgh CF Ometeotl continued his fine month by collecting 5 hits (3 doubles, a triple and a home run) against New Orleans. Ometeotl scored 2 runs and drove in 5.
5/13/3006 - It took long enough - but Chicago RF Siddhartha Guatama hits the 37th cycle in league history against Atlanta. It wasn't enough, however, as Atlanta wins the game 6-5.
5/15/3006 - Hartford RF and Voodoo God Bondje goes 5 for 5 with two singles, a double, two home runs, 3 runs scored and 5 RBI in Hartford's 9-5 victory over Atlanta.
5/16/3006 - New Orleans' Catcher Guru Nahak had a good day in Seattle as he goes 6 for 6 at the plate with 2 singles, 2 doubles and 2 home runs. Nahak scored 3 runs and had 7 RBI.
5/17/3006 - Hartford RF Bondje (.684 / 9 RBI) and Greensboro CF Lao-tzu (.652 / 7 HR / 16 RBi / 1.826 SLG) win Player of the Week Awards.
5/23/3006 - Little Rock LF Zeus clubs 3 HRs and hits a double as he goes 4 for 4 with 4 runs scored and 6 RBI in a 9-7 win in Gadsden.
5/24/3006 - Norfolk 1B uKqili (.556 / 9 RBI / .609 OBP) and Cleveland Catcher Enlil (.688 / 6 HR / 14 RBI) win their respective league's Player of the Week Award.
5/29/3006 - Usually quiet Irish deity and El Paso RF Anu hits 3 HRs, scores 4 runs and drives in 5 in El Paso's 8-1 victory in Seattle. Anu remains the only deity to not have yet won a Player of the Week Award.
5/31/3006 - Hartford RF Bondje (.609 / 13 RBI / .640 OBP) wins his 7th career Player of the Week Award. In the UL, Greensboro RF and mere mortal Daniel Cooper (.542 / 12 RBI / 1.167 SLG) wins his first career Player of the Week Award - the first time the award has been granted to a non-deity in a week other than the first week after the All-Star Break. Cooper was humble upon receiving the news: "It's an honor, obviously," stated Cooper, "But I don't want to make a habit of it. I mean, sure, I want to do good and all, but my grandfather always told me: 'Never show up a god on the baseball field unless you want something really, really bad to happen to you or your family.' So I'll be keeping a closer eye on my numbers from here on out...I mean, I've got kids for god's sake!"
6/1/3006 - Hartford RF Bondje (.534 / 41 RBI) wins his 2nd career Batter of the Month Award in the CL. In the UL, Columbus SS Vishnu (.577 / 14 HR / 34 RBI) wins his 3rd career BotM.
Deity BA Leader: Vishnu .573
Deity HR Leader: Viracocha / Guru Nahak 40
Deity RBI Leader: Guru Nahak 94
Deity SB Leader: Jesus Christ 39
Top Ten Longest Deity HRs
1.) 555 feet - Guru Nahak
2.) 550 feet - Zeus
3.) 549 feet - Ra
4.) 544 feet - Ometeotl, Siddhartha Guatama
5.) 541 feet - Awonawilona, Guru Nahak
6.) 539 feet - Ra, Vishnu
7.) 537 feet - Ra
8.) 536 feet - Apsu, Siddhartha Guatama, Vishnu
9.) 534 feet - Jesus Christ
10.) 533 feet - Khonvoum, Lao-tzu (2), Mohammed, Odin
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