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September 1st, 3006

It was a drama filled month as Anu stood on the verge of setting a new all-time Hitting Streak record - long thought to be one of the least touchable records in baseball. Anu's hot hitting has gotten El Paso (85-51) an 8 game cushion in the UL Northwest while the CL's best record belongs to CL East Charlotte (80-56) thanks to Judaism icon Abraham making a late-season surge. However, Charlotte is a mere 3 games in front of the second best CL Team and division-mate Memphis (77-59) as Jesus Christ turns up the heat. As teams jockey for playoff position, it should be interesting to see which of our deities step up and which ones fall down.

Monthly Highlights

8/1/3006 - Anu has a well-deserved day off in Gadsden. Gadsden wins 10-1. HITTING STREAK - 50 games

8/2/3006 - Anu goes 2 for 5 with 2 doubles and 2 runs scored in El Paso's 8-6 win in Gadsden. HITTING STREAK - 51 games.

8/2/3006 - Charlotte 3B Abraham (.500 / 6 HR / 19 RBI) and Cleveland Catcher Enlil (.750 / 5 HR / 12 RBI / 1.650 SLG) win Player of the Week Awards.

8/3/3006 - Anu has a fantastic game, 3 for 3, a triple, a home run, a run scored, 2 RBI and a stolen base as El Paso squeaks past Gadsden 5-3. HITTING STREAK - 52 games.

8/4/3006 - El Paso manages only 4 hits against Gadsden, but one of them was obtained by Anu (a 2 run HR) to keep the streak alive. HITTING STREAK - 53 games.

8/5/3006 - El Paso has the day off as they travel to Seattle for a 3 game series. HITTING STREAK - 53 games.

8/6/3006 - Anu goes 3 for 5 at the plate with a double, 2 HRs, 2 runs scored, 3 RBI and a Stolen Base as El Paso beats Seattle, 5-2. HITTING STREAK - 54 games.

8/7/3006 - Plenty of nail-biting occurred as it came down to the wire for Anu. In Seattle's 8-4 victory over El Paso, Anu was held hitless until the top of the 9th, when he roped a 2-out double into the gap in left-center field. An uproarious cheer went up from the Seattle crowd as Anu came one step closer to tying the Hitting Streak record which has stood for so long. Anu himself let out a huge sigh of relief as he called for time and tipped his batting helmet to the crowd. HITTING STREAK - 55 games.

8/8/3006 - Mortal Nelson Mendoza got the start for Seattle on this Sunday, to try and be known as the pitcher who stopped Anu just on the doorstep of a record. Mendoza came into the game with a 6-8 record in 25 starts and a 5.28 ERA. Distant relatives of Joe DiMaggio sat in the stands behind the El Paso dugout waiting to see if their relative's record would be tied. Mendoza retired the first two batters in the first, which brought up Anu, the #3 hitter. On a 2-1 fastball, Anu rifled a line drive into the left-center field gap and easily cruised into 2B for a stand-up double to tie the Hitting Streak Record of 56! The Seattle crowd gave Anu a standing ovation that lasted just shy of 15 minutes as fireworks lit the night sky. Anu was overjoyed and ran a quick victory lap around the field, high-fiving those lucky enough to have field-side seats. The ball was immediately shepherded to a representative of the DCL who was flanked by two armed guards. Anu grounded out to 2B in the third inning, lined out to 2B in the 5th, singled to LF in the 8th, hit an RBI double in the 9th, scored the tying run in the top of the 9th and grounded out to 1B in the 11th. El Paso scored three unanswered runs in the top of the 11th to win the game, 10-7.

In his post-game press conference, Anu spoke briefly to the hundreds of press who had assembled for the game. "First, I would like to thank the DiMaggio relatives," began Anu, with a rolling Irish brogue, "They have been just lovely through all this and oh so supportive. I am very humbled to be the one to tie, and possibly break their ancestor's record. On many occasions, I've offered them my Lucky Charms, but they wouldn't hear of it. My horseshoe, four-leaf clover, blue diamonds...they said no each and every time. Also, I would like to thank the fans of El Paso and of my work and omnipotence. And last, but certainly not least, I'd like to thank the inventors of Guinness for their fine, fine work. Now let's all get pissed!" HITTING STREAK - 56 games

8/9/3006 - Having just tied the Hit Streak record the night before, Anu had opened the door and stood ready to set the bar higher as he was back home to face Columbus on a warm Monday night. Columbus sent mortal Harry Sartin to the mound to try and halt the streak. Sartin had a record of 15-5 in 25 starts and a 3.52 ERA. The DiMaggio relatives overlooked the field as guests in the owner's box. In the top of the first, Vishnu crushed a 2 run HR to put Columbus up, 2-0, but the crowd had bigger things on their minds and the party atmosphere in the stands didn't waver. Sartin retired the first two El Paso batters to bring up Anu with no one on and two outs. Anu saw a 2-1 Slider that he liked and drove it deep into the right-center field gap. As the ball hit the outfield grass, the crowd erupted as the celebrating began. Anu ended up sliding into third base for the two-out triple - his 57th consecutive game with at least one hit! The stands were absolute bedlam for 20 minutes which felt like an eternity as the sky exploded with fireworks and the catchiest of stadium tunes blared over the PA system. Upon the umpire's 'Safe' call, Anu was instantly mobbed by his teammates and the Columbus 3B rushed through fans who had run onto the field, some of whom who were trying to steal the record-breaking ball from him. "One guy friggin' *bit* me!" Columbus' All-Star mortal 3B Ryan Brawley said following the game, "I mean, let Anu have the ball - he's earned it! Luckily for me, though, our SS Vishnu saw who bit me and let's just say he won't be biting anyone ever again." 37 minutes after Anu's hit, the game was resumed. On the first pitch, mortal El Paso 1B William Trask grounded a rocket up the middle, scoring Anu from 3rd as the crowd continued to cheer. The crowd cheered every time Anu came out of the dugout - be it to take his position in the field or to step into the on-deck circle. The cheering only got louder as Anu stepped to the plate. The rest of the game, Anu singled in the 4th, grounded out to SS in the 6th and walked *twice* in the 8th as El Paso batted around. El Paso scored 6 runs in the bottom of the 8th, much to the continued delight of the hometown crowd, as El Paso comes back to beat Columbus 10-8.

Following the game, Anu was unavailable for comment, but two photocrews managed to record footage of Anu drunkenly stumbling into the back of a limo with 7 very attractive and shapely red-headed women...to the victors go the spoils. HITTING STREAK - 57 GAMES.

8/9/3006 - Judaism icon Abraham (.565 / 5 HR / 11 RBI) wins another CL Player of the Week Award as Pittsburgh's Ometeotl (.583 / 5 HR / 12 RBI) takes home the UL Award.

8/10/3006 - Anu continues the streak as he doubles and homers in El Paso's 10-9 victory over Columbus. HITTING STREAK - 58 GAMES.

8/10/3006 - Roman Father God Jupiter parks three Home Runs and collects 7 RBI in Cincinnati's 18-8 smiting of Gadsden.

8/11/3006 - Anu doubles, triples and homers in El Paso's 7-2 win over Columbus. HITTING STREAK - 59 GAMES.

8/12/3006 - Anu doubles in the 7th inning to extend the streak, but El Paso falls to Columbus, 10-3. HITTING STREAK - 60 GAMES.

8/12/3006 - First overall pick of the DCL, Vishnu, hits 3 solo HRs in Columbus' 10-3 win over El Paso.

8/13/3006 - New team, same streak - Anu doubles in El Paso's 10-7 victory over visiting Raleigh. HITTING STREAK - 61 GAMES.

8/14/3006 - Anu takes a well-deserved break, watching from the bench as El Paso falls to Raleigh, 10-2. HITTING STREAK - 61 GAMES.

8/15/3006 - Anu doubles, his only hit in 4 AB, and steals a base in El Paso's 10-7 win over Raleigh. HITTING STREAK - 62 GAMES.

8/16/3006 - El Paso gets 7 hits in their 6-5 victory over Stockton, but Anu is held to 0 for 4, his first hitless game since June 17th. The Stockton crowd gave a standing ovation for Anu as he left the field after the final out and he acknowledged the crowd by tipping his hat and waving. "I am kind of glad it's over," acknowledged Anu in a post-game interview, "It gets to be a little much. I enjoyed the support from the fans and to create excitement for everyone was grand, but the pressure was getting to be too much to bear. I just want to go home, relax, kick back with a Guinness and watch Limerick totally kick Liverpool's arses all over the field." So, history has been made as Anu's streak is halted at 62 games. It took 1065 years for the 56 game record to be broken, but if anyone could challenge it - it's our deities.

8/16/3006 - NY Catcher Awonawilona (.560 / 7 HR / 14 RBI) and Taoism icon Lao-tzu (.550 / 13 RBI / .583 OBP) win Player of the Week Awards.

8/19/3006 - Gadsden 2B Odin parks three long balls and collects 5 RBI in an 11-4 victory over Columbus.

8/23/3006 - Scientology icon and Houston LF A Thetan (.750 / 7 RBI / 1.500 SLG) and Hindu deity Vishnu (.611 / 12 RBI) win PotW Awards.

8/25/3006 - Irish deity Anu continues a magnificent 2nd half of the season as he hits 2 doubles, a triple and 2 HRs while collecting 4 RBI in an 8-7 victory in Lewiston.

8/30/3006 - Inuit deity Tekkeitsertok (.609 / 7 HR / 9 RBI) and El Paso RF Anu (.676 / 8 HR / 18 RBI / 1.647 SLG) win Player of the Week Awards.

8/31/3006 - Sumerian God Enlil hits the 45th cycle in league history (Enlil's 2nd career cycle) as Cleveland defeats Little Rock, 9-2 in Arkansas.

9/1/3006 - Charlotte 3B Abraham (.515 / 20 HR / 46 RBI) is named the Continental League Batter of the Month. Irish deity Anu (.514 / 46 RBI / 1.280 SLG) adds his 2nd career Batter of the Month trophy to his mantle.

Deity BA Leader: Vishnu .527 (+.006 over 2nd place - Anu)
Deity HR Leader: Guru Nahak 84 (+3 over 2nd place - Anu)
Deity RBI Leader: Anu 196 (+5 over 2nd place - Abraham)
Deity SB Leader: Jesus Christ 86 (+4 over 2nd place - Satan)

DEITY CAREER STRIKEOUT LEADERS
1.) Confucius 36
2.) Zeus 35
3.) Awonawilona 32
3.) Mohammed 32
5.) Siddhartha Guatama 30
6.) Altjira 27
6.) Hunab Ku 27
6.) Lao-tzu 27
9.) uKqili 26
9.) Jesus Christ 26