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enigk · 10-26-2004, 04:43 PM

October 16th, 3006

CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES RESULTS

Houston (A Thetan) def. Hartford (Bondje-DL) 4-0
Lewiston (Altjira) def. Little Rock (Zeus) 4-0

A pair of sweeps bring us to the 3006 DCL World Series. In the CL, Hartford got off to a bad start, committing 4 errors and getting only one hit in their 10-0 beating in Hartford. That really took the wind out of their sails as they fall 5-3, 5-4 and 7-2 in the next three games, sending A Thetan to the World Series in his first trip to the postseason. Hartford really looked rudderless and adrift in a sea of uncertainty without their resident deity, Voodoo God Bondje. "The Houston team and that puny Thetan are lucky that the great and powerful Bondje was not playing in this series," Bondje was quoted as saying, "I was unable to cast any enchantments as I had run out of Haitian saffron. I call all stores. No one has Haitian saffron. I found some on eBay, but when the bidding got up over $40, I was all like: 'Screw *that*, man.' Bad enough dude is charging $17.50 shipping and handling...I mean, you get the package in the mail and the postage says $3.75! It just makes me very mad is what I'm trying to say."

A Thetan was notably emotionless following the game: "xy'Bjs Rrr't'ok qqiwli'o-l trkyth," he began, before someone in the back alerted him to the fact that his translation unit was not turned on. After flipping a switch on the silver box, the Scientology icon continued, "Sorry about that. I normally have one that is voice activated, but that thing has been on the blink recently. It is a great honor and a testament to science that I will be advancing to the World Series with my Houston teammates. The first year, they were all questioning why I required rectal probes from everyone, but I used that data to improve team chemistry 72.17583% and comraderie is up 48.33312%. You can't argue with science." When asked if he was concerned about the price of tickets skyrocketing as Scientologists tried to see their icon play in the Series, A Thetan responded, "My followers are a group of people who attain higher spirituality and knowledge by donating certain levels of money to the church. I don't think they'll have a problem forking out some extra cash to see me demolish Lewiston." At which point, A Thetan excused himself from the press room, retied one of his 24k gold shoes and was carried from the room by a solid gold carriage drawn by white Siberian tigers.

In the United League Championship Series, Altjira's first trip to the postseason is also a great success as he, too, will be advancing to the World Series as Lewiston upends Zeus' Little Rock team, 4 games to none. Lewiston had home field advantage and used it to their benefit as they win 11-4, 6-4, 12-4 and 5-3. This was Zeus' third trip to the playoffs in 3 years and he was not pleased that two newcomers were advancing to the big game. "It's obviously very frustrating," noted Zeus, "I was talking to Sisyphus the other day and he said he feels my pain...so it's nice talking with him to cheer me up. Misery loves company, I suppose."

Altjira was elated at a pep rally thrown in Australia by a large group of worshipping Aboriginals. "Thank you all for your hospitality and your gifts. As I have always said, you can never have too many rain sticks or didgeridoos. I promise to do my best and win the World Series for all of you and all of my followers around the world."

So the stage is set as Aboriginal deity Altjira will face off with Scientology icon A Thetan in the 3006 DCL World Series. It should be a diverse crowd, with the luxury boxes full of Hollywood big-wigs such as Tom Cruise XIX, John Travolta XVII, Nicole Kidman XII and That Chick From Dharma And Greg XIV while the bleachers are full of scantily-clad men with spears and painted faces.

Las Vegas has posted Houston as a 3-1 favorite with Lewiston standing close by at 5-1. Lewiston posted the better regular season record of 87-75, but Oddsmakers favor A Thetan and Houston who finished with a 84-78 record. We'll see who can make their followers proud and who will disappoint their loyal legion.

edit:
Deity Postseason Stats
A Thetan (.577 / 5 HR / 11 RBI)
Bondje (655 bags of Sunflower Seeds eaten)
Altjira (.500 / 4 HR / 9 RBI)
Zeus (.458 / 4 HR / 14 RBI)

10-26-2004, 04:43 PM	#78 (permalink)
enigk Minors (Double A) Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 116 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0x in 0 posts	October 16th, 3006 CHAMPIONSHIP SERIES RESULTS Houston (A Thetan) def. Hartford (Bondje-DL) 4-0 Lewiston (Altjira) def. Little Rock (Zeus) 4-0 A pair of sweeps bring us to the 3006 DCL World Series. In the CL, Hartford got off to a bad start, committing 4 errors and getting only one hit in their 10-0 beating in Hartford. That really took the wind out of their sails as they fall 5-3, 5-4 and 7-2 in the next three games, sending A Thetan to the World Series in his first trip to the postseason. Hartford really looked rudderless and adrift in a sea of uncertainty without their resident deity, Voodoo God Bondje. "The Houston team and that puny Thetan are lucky that the great and powerful Bondje was not playing in this series," Bondje was quoted as saying, "I was unable to cast any enchantments as I had run out of Haitian saffron. I call all stores. No one has Haitian saffron. I found some on eBay, but when the bidding got up over $40, I was all like: 'Screw that, man.' Bad enough dude is charging $17.50 shipping and handling...I mean, you get the package in the mail and the postage says $3.75! It just makes me very mad is what I'm trying to say." A Thetan was notably emotionless following the game: "xy'Bjs Rrr't'ok qqiwli'o-l trkyth," he began, before someone in the back alerted him to the fact that his translation unit was not turned on. After flipping a switch on the silver box, the Scientology icon continued, "Sorry about that. I normally have one that is voice activated, but that thing has been on the blink recently. It is a great honor and a testament to science that I will be advancing to the World Series with my Houston teammates. The first year, they were all questioning why I required rectal probes from everyone, but I used that data to improve team chemistry 72.17583% and comraderie is up 48.33312%. You can't argue with science." When asked if he was concerned about the price of tickets skyrocketing as Scientologists tried to see their icon play in the Series, A Thetan responded, "My followers are a group of people who attain higher spirituality and knowledge by donating certain levels of money to the church. I don't think they'll have a problem forking out some extra cash to see me demolish Lewiston." At which point, A Thetan excused himself from the press room, retied one of his 24k gold shoes and was carried from the room by a solid gold carriage drawn by white Siberian tigers. In the United League Championship Series, Altjira's first trip to the postseason is also a great success as he, too, will be advancing to the World Series as Lewiston upends Zeus' Little Rock team, 4 games to none. Lewiston had home field advantage and used it to their benefit as they win 11-4, 6-4, 12-4 and 5-3. This was Zeus' third trip to the playoffs in 3 years and he was not pleased that two newcomers were advancing to the big game. "It's obviously very frustrating," noted Zeus, "I was talking to Sisyphus the other day and he said he feels my pain...so it's nice talking with him to cheer me up. Misery loves company, I suppose." Altjira was elated at a pep rally thrown in Australia by a large group of worshipping Aboriginals. "Thank you all for your hospitality and your gifts. As I have always said, you can never have too many rain sticks or didgeridoos. I promise to do my best and win the World Series for all of you and all of my followers around the world." So the stage is set as Aboriginal deity Altjira will face off with Scientology icon A Thetan in the 3006 DCL World Series. It should be a diverse crowd, with the luxury boxes full of Hollywood big-wigs such as Tom Cruise XIX, John Travolta XVII, Nicole Kidman XII and That Chick From Dharma And Greg XIV while the bleachers are full of scantily-clad men with spears and painted faces. Las Vegas has posted Houston as a 3-1 favorite with Lewiston standing close by at 5-1. Lewiston posted the better regular season record of 87-75, but Oddsmakers favor A Thetan and Houston who finished with a 84-78 record. We'll see who can make their followers proud and who will disappoint their loyal legion. edit: Deity Postseason Stats A Thetan (.577 / 5 HR / 11 RBI) Bondje (655 bags of Sunflower Seeds eaten) Altjira (.500 / 4 HR / 9 RBI) Zeus (.458 / 4 HR / 14 RBI) Last edited by enigk; 10-26-2004 at 04:45 PM.