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3006 DCL WORLD SERIES

Game 1 - A Thetan starts a 6-run Houston 6th in Lewiston with a 2-run HR, but it's not enough as Lewiston closer Alexander Sedillo retires three Houston mortals 1-2-3 in the top of the 9th to leave A Thetan in the On-Deck circle and preserve the 8-7 Lewiston win. Lewiston Catcher Altjira was named Player of the Game with his 2 for 3, 3 runs scored, 3 RBI, double, HR and stolen base. A Thetan was 2 for 4 with a run scored, 2 RBI, a HR and a Stolen Base.

Game 2 - Lewiston starts off great, putting 3 runs on the board in the bottom of the 1st, but that was all the runs they would muster for the game and end up falling to Houston 8-3 at home. Altjira managed a 2 run Home Run in the first, but that was his only hit of the game as he goes 1-4 from the plate with a run scored and 2 RBI. A Thetan manages 3 singles (3 for 5), 2 runs scored and 2 stolen bases as Houston sends the series back home all knotted up at 1-1.

Game 3 - Trading punches like a great heavyweight fight, Lewiston takes Game 3 in Houston, 12-8. A Thetan hits 2 solo Home runs on a 2 for 3 night, but Lewiston jumps all over Houston's Starting Pitcher James Erb, chasing him after only 2 2/3 innings but 8 runs allowed. Erb had been magnificent heading into the game, with a 3-0 postseason record and a postseason ERA under 2.00, but Lewiston got to him early and often scoring at least 2 runs in each of the first three innings. Altjira's only hit of the game was another 2 run HR in the top of the first, which got the ball rolling for Lewiston.

Game 4 - Lewiston manages 10 hits, but only 2 runs as Houston evens the series at 2-2 with a 7-2 win at home. A Thetan had a less than stellar night, managing only a single and a walk in 4 AB and was caught stealing. For Lewiston, Altjira managed a single, double and triple in his 3 for 4 performance and drove in one of Lewiston's 2 runs.

Game 5 - Houston mortal Daniel Barajas delivers a game-winning pinch hit RBI single in the bottom of the 10th to give Houston a 3-2 series lead and pin Lewiston against the wall. Houston won the game 3-2 despite only a single, walk and stolen base from Scientology icon A Thetan. For Lewiston, Aboriginal deity Altjira manages 2 singles and a walk and is thrown out trying to steal second. Lewiston outhit Houston 8-7, but it's the runs that count. The series heads back to Lewiston where they need to win two in a row to win the trophy.

Game 6 - After his early departure in Game 3, James Erb took the mound for Houston with the chance to close out the series. He pitched better than he did in his last outing, but still is tagged for 5 runs in 4 innings as Lewiston deadlocks the series at 3 all with a 7-3 win. With the win, Lewiston pitcher Russell Miller pulls his postseason record to 5-0 despite a 4.32 ERA. On the night, A Thetan was 2 for 3 with a run scored, a walk and a stolen base, but was also gunned down trying to steal 3rd. Lewiston Catcher Altjira was 2 for 4 with 2 runs scored an RBI and a Stolen Base.

Game 7 - In a fantastic Game 7, Houston had runners on the corners with 2 outs in the top of the 9th with the game tied at 6, but A Thetan was gunned down trying to steal 2nd base to end the threat. Lewiston was unable to score in the bottom of the 9th which sent the game to extra innings. In the top of the 10th, a Houston mortal managed a two-out walk, but the aggressive base-running of the Houston team bites them in their collective ass again as he is gunned down trying to steal 2nd base. In the bottom of the 10th, with two outs and the winning run at 3rd base, Altjira strode to the plate sporting his week's worth of beard growth and a determined look in his eyes. Lewiston fans swung their Rally Didgeridoos in the air (37 people were injured) and Hollywood Scientologists actually turned off their cell phone implants as the tension couldn't even be cut with a knife. Altjira took a cut at the first pitch he saw and drove it deep to left field where it just cleared the glove of the mortal Houston LF for a 2-run, walk-off, World Series-winning, word-hyphenating Home Run. Fireworks lit the night sky as Altjira rounded the bases. He was so overjoyed and filled with adrenaline, that while high-fiving the third base coach rounding third, he actually slapped the poor man's arm right off of his torso and into the seats behind 3rd base. Two men are each claiming ownership of the 3rd base coach's arm and both have retained legal counsel. That only slightly dampened the celebration as Lewiston fans poured onto the field and Altjira regrew the man's arm on the spot. The only other dark spot on the evening was the death of Jimmy Fallon XVI. In his haste to remove his Houston shirt and put on a Lewiston shirt following the Altjira home run, the Houston shirt got caught around his neck, snapping his spinal column in 6 places. He will most likely not be missed.

On the day, Altjira was a fantastic 5 for 6 from the plate with 3 singles, 2 HRs, 2 runs scored and 5 RBI, including the game-winning 2 Run HR in the 10th. Altjira had a magnificent series and was named Post-Season MVP. A Thetan did not fare nearly as well as Altjira in the last game of the series as he manages only a single in the 9th and was gunned down trying to steal 2nd.

Following the game, Altjira was elated, "Oh, man, I can't believe it! I mean, sure, I created the world and everything, but that's not that much pressure - there's no one around to see if you mess up. Here, I have millions and millions of people watching me...I knew as soon as I made contact with that ball that it was gone and I was going to be absolutely *rolling* in Aboriginal booty for weeks! I'm like a kid in a candy store right now, I really am!"

In the Houston locker room, A Thetan was typically stone-faced. "Well," it began, "I thought I had gathered all the data that I needed with my rectal probes, but apparently we need to work on our 'Clutch' rating. So, I will have to return to the mothership to obtain it from the probe washer. I would like to take this time to thank all of my followers around the globe for all of their support and all of the money which they continue to provide me. It will really help pick me up following this defeat."

Deity Postseason Stats
A Thetan .509 / 8 HR / 15 RBI / 11 SB / 5 CS
Altjira .536 / 9 HR / 23 RBI / 3 SB / 5 CS