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August 1st, 3008
Hartford continues to hold the DCL's best record and looks like the team to beat. At 67-40, Hartford currently has an 8 game lead in the CL Southeast over 2nd place Oklahoma City with 3rd place Orlando a close third 9 games out of first. Hartford is certainly paying their way as their $102.8 million dollar payroll and their 207 team HRs are tops in the league.
With the MVP numbers starting LF Jesus Christ is posting, plus the contributions of several key role players, Memphis (61-46) holds a 12 game lead in the CL East over 2nd place Charlotte and Norfolk as both are 49-58. However, Memphis is accomplishing all of this with the league's smallest payroll - $50.49 million, less than half the salary which Hartford is dishing out.
Monthly Highlights
7/5/3008 - New York pitcher Michael Lerner (1-0 / 0.82 ERA / 14 K's) and Gadsden pitcher Manuel Ortega (1-0 / 2.16 ERA) win Token Human Player of the Week Awards.
7/5/3008 - New Orleans catcher Guru Nahak hits 2 singles, a triple and 2 HRs, scoring 3 runs and driving in 7 in New Orleans' 17-6 drubbing of Cincinnati.
7/12/3008 - Scientology deity A Thetan (.435 / 6 HR / 15 RBI) and Sikh icon Guru Nahak (.600 / 12 RBI) win Player of the Week Awards.
7/15/3008 - Philadelphia RF Tekkeitsertok hits the 64th cycle in league history in Philly's 13-3 win in Phoenix. Tekkeitsertok finished the game 4 for 6 with 3 runs scored and 4 RBI. Tekkeitsertok and his Philadelphia teammates have been playing inspired baseball as of late and currently hold a 2 game lead over New York in the CL Northwest.
7/15/3008 - Charlotte 3B Abraham hits the 65th cycle in league history mere hours after Tekkeitsertok. Abraham went 5 for 5 on the day and in addition to collecting a single, double, triple and HR, he threw in a second HR for good measure. The Judaism icon scored 3 runs and drove in 4 as Charlotte destroys Oklahoma City, 14-1.
7/17/3008 - Memphis LF Jesus Christ clubs 4 HRs in Memphis 17-5 whipping of New York in the Big Apple. Christ also hit a single, scored 5 runs and drove in 6 in the game.
7/19/3008 - Christianity namesake Jesus Christ (.556 / 8 HR / 14 RBI) and Aboriginal deity Altjira (.619 / 14 RBI / .704 OBP) win Player of the Week Awards.
7/19/3008 - Incan God Viracocha powers Atlanta to a 14-13 win in Memphis with 3 HRs, 3 runs scored and 5 RBI.
7/22/3008 - Zulu deity uKqili hits 3 HRs with 5 RBI in Norfolk's 10-7 win in Philadelphia.
7/24/3008 - Scientology icon A Thetan goes 5 for 6 with a run scored and 3 RBI in Houston's 12-inning 5-4 win over Orlando. A Thetan hit 2 singles, 2 doubles and a HR, including the game winning RBI double in the bottom of the 12th.
7/25/3008 - New York catcher Awonawilona is perfect from the plate as he goes 5 for 5 with a double and 2 HRs, scoring 2 runs and driving in 8, including a game-winning 2-RBI double in the bottom of the 9th inning. Awonawilona also stole his 50th base of the year as New York edges Hartford in a shootout, 14-13.
7/26/3008 - Atlanta catcher Viracocha (.619 / 16 RBI / .654 OBP) and Norse Father God Odin (.706 / 4 HR / 13 RBI) win Player of the Week Awards.
7/27/3008 - Mortal Raleigh pitcher James Petrey improves his record to 12-1 on the season as he NO-HITS Seattle in their own house. It was a bad day for the deities as Raleigh 1B Ra (0-4) and Seattle RF Siddhartha Guatama (0-2) are both held hitless. The perfect game went out the window quickly as Guatama walked with 2 outs in the bottom of the 1st. A walk in the bottom of the 3rd accounted for the last of the base runners Petrey would allow as he cruises to a complete game 8-0 win.
"He is a fine pitcher," Guatama was quoted as saying after the game, "I was happy he achieved such a beautiful goal. I wish it wasn't against our Seattle team, but everything happens for a reason. I have no regrets."
7/30/3008 - The Pygmy Powerhouse hits the 68th cycle in league history as Chicago beats Philadelphia 10-6. Khonvoum scored 4 runs and collected 3 RBI in the victory.
8/1/3008 - Memphis LF Jesus Christ (.495 / 22 HR / 50 RBI) wins his second straight Batter of the Month Award. In the UL, Pittsburgh CF Ometeotl (.500 / 43 RBI / .611 OBP) wins his league's Batter of the Month Award.
CL Deity BA Leader: Jesus Christ .511 (+.027 over Awonawilona)
CL Deity HR Leader: Jesus Christ 70 (+9 over Bondje)
CL Deity RBI Leader: Jesus Christ 175 (+24 over Bondje)
CL Deity SB Leader: Jesus Christ / A Thetan 67 (+6 over Abraham)
UL Deity BA Leader: Odin .517 (+.029 over Hunab Ku)
UL Deity HR Leader: Guru Nahak 69 (+3 over Vishnu)
UL Deity RBI Leader: Vishnu 149 (+8 over Ra)
UL Deity SB Leader: Lao-tzu 68 (+1 over Siddhartha Guatama)
Deity Career RBI Leaderboard
1.) Vishnu 1015
2.) Jesus Christ 986
3.) uKqili 945
4.) Altjira 944
5.) Ometeotl 942
6.) Odin 940
7.) Bondje 925
8.) Siddhartha Guatama 914
9.) Ra 912
10.) Mohammed 909
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