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June 1st, 3009
May has come and gone for our deities and Babylonian deity Apsu appears to be making a grab for the cash as he is posting a very impressive set of numbers to this point (.461 / 39 HR / 77 RBI). After hitting only 63 HRs last year, Apsu is on pace for about 110 HRs this season.
"The insinuation that I am playing harder now to earn more money is ludicrous," asserted Apsu, sitting on a gold throne incrusted with priceless jewels, "I worked very hard during the offseason to improve my game and anyone who says otherwise will be most surprised to find their bowels filling with their own blood."
Monthly Highlights
5/3/3009 - Scientology icon A Thetan (.632 / 4 HR / 7 RBI) and Roman God Jupiter (.579 / 7 RBI / 1.158 SLG) win Player of the Week Awards.
5/10/3009 - Babylonian God Apsu (.583 / 10 RBI / .667 OBP) and Stockton 3B Hunab Ku (.571 / 6 HR / 12 RBI / 1.500 SLG) win Player of the Week Awards.
5/16/3009 - Pygmy deity Khonvoum hits three HRs and drives in the winning run in the bottom of the 9th as Chicago edges New York 8-7. Khonvoum scored 3 runs, drove in 5 and stole a base on the day.
5/17/3009 - Phoenix 2B Confucius (.423 / 7 HR / 10 RBI) and reigning World Series MVP Guru Nahak (.526 / 10 RBI) win Player of the Week Awards.
5/24/3009 - Inuit deity Tekkeitsertok (.579 / 5 HR / 8 RBI) and Little Rock LF Zeus (.688 / 10 RBI / 1.563 SLG) win Player of the Week Awards.
5/24/3009 - Egyptian Sun God Ra goes 5 for 5 from the plate with two singles, two triples and a home run as Raleigh demolishes Greensboro 23-5. Ra scored 4 runs, drove in 2, walked twice and stole a base as Raleigh continues to impress in the UL Southwest.
5/24/3009 - Pittsburgh's resident deity, Ometeotl, homers three times with 6 RBI in Pittsburgh's 15-4 win in Columbus.
5/31/3009 - Zulu God uKqili (.500 / 19 RBI / 1.357 SLG) and Aztec God Ometeotl (.520 / 5 HR / 12 RBI) win Player of the Week Awards.
6/1/3009 - Oklahoma City SS Apsu (.500 / 23 HR / 48 RBI) and Aboriginal deity Altjira (.434 / 17 HR / 40 RBI) win Batter of the Month Awards for the month of May.
Deity BA Leader: Hunab Ku .480
Deity HR Leader: Apsu 39
Deity RBI Leader: Apsu 77
Deity SB Leader: A Thetan 40
Career Deity Walks Leaderboard
1.) Vishnu 747
2.) A Thetan 722
3.) Ometeotl 706
4.) Hunab Ku 695
5.) uKqili 691
6.) Lao-tzu 687
7.) Siddhartha Guatama 679
8.) Zeus 678
9.) Ra 675
10.) Bondje 674
10.) Satan 674
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