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July 1st, 3009
As we reach the All-Star Game, three of our deities will be sitting home. As usual, Cincinnati catcher Jupiter was not selected to represent the UL. However, Enlil was finally selected to the All-Star squad this year, ending his 5 year drought. Enlil was the only deity remaining who had not been voted on to an All-Star Team and was very overjoyed by his selection.
"Finally! It's such a relief...I've been carrying this weight on my shoulders which just kept getting heavier and heavier every year..." said Enlil, sitting on a bench in front of his locker, "I'm just filled with joy right now. I don't have to hear anymore crap from any of the other deities about it...it's just good on a lot of levels."
Many have written that while Enlil played very well the first half of the season, he wouldn't have made it to the team had Guru Nahak not been playing so poorly over that time. Nahak's average is currently at .405, which is 50 points below his career average. Also, his HR and RBI numbers are way down (32 and 72). Some may feel that Nahak let last season's World Series win get to his head and is now paying the price for his pride.
In addition to Enlil's heartwarming story, a heartcolding story involves another of our deities. One of the league's premier deities was felled with a severe injury which will keep them out of the All-Star game and on the DL for 7 weeks. To rub salt in the wound, this stint on the DL will most likely keep the deity about 15 days short of service time to be eligible for free agency.
Monthly Highlights
6/1/3009 - Islamic icon Mohammed goes 5 for 5 from the plate with 2 doubles, a triple and 2 HRs as Buffalo blanks Gadsden 8-0. Mohammed scored 3 runs and drove in 6 which was more than enough to win the game as Gadsden deity Odin had a scheduled day off as he was waiting for the cable guy at his house. The team could have used him as they managed only one hit.
6/3/3009 - Oklahoma City pitcher Mark Dray improves his record to 9-1 as he NO-HITS Phoenix. It was a day to forget for Phoenix deity Confucius, who was 0 for 3 on the day with an error and was also caught stealing as Oklahoma City rolls 6-0.
6/7/3009 - Oklahoma City SS Apsu (.458 / 6 HR / 14 RBI / 1.333 SLG) and Cleveland catcher Enlil (.609 / 13 RBI / 1.522 SLG) win Player of the Week Awards.
6/12/3009 - In the second inning of their game against Houston, Hartford's Bondje made a beautiful diving catch of a long fly ball with the bases loaded to end the inning. However, as teammates left the field high-fiving, they realized that Bondje was clutching his hand. Bondje was taken to a local hospital for X-Rays and was diagnosed with a broken hand that will keep him sidelined for about 7 weeks. It is a huge blow to a Hartford squad which lost 5-time All-Star first baseman Charles "The Fireball" Melton on May 9th for 8-9 weeks. Hartford has reeled from the loss of their two huge offensive weapons and by the end of June would fall to 36-45. Luckily that is only 5 games out of first place as Oklahoma City has struggled as well of late.
Bondje was extremely dejected in a press conference held in Hartford. "I am greatly saddened by this injury," detailed the Voodoo deity, "With the loss of Charlie [Melton] already weighing our hearts, this is a heavy burden indeed. I don't know what else to say other than I will be back as soon as I can and I will be back with a venegeance." Bondje then left the podium, taking no questions from the assembled press.
6/13/3009 - Pittsburgh CF Ometeotl hits the 75th cycle in league history, going 5 for 5 from the plate with an extra double, 3 runs scored and 3 RBI in Pittsburgh's 9-4 win in Buffalo.
6/14/3009 - A bad week for CL deities sees mortal Vernon Shigeaki (.700 / 3 HR / 12 RBI) take home the Continental League's Player of the Week Award. Aztec God Ometeotl (.792 / 15 RBI / 7 Game HR Streak) wins the United League's Player of the Week Award.
6/17/3009 - Houston LF A Thetan hits the 76th cycle in league history with 2 RBI and 2 runs scored as Houston edges out Philadelphia 6-5.
6/17/3009 - Confucianism icon Confucius hits three HRs, scores 4 runs and drives in 5 as Phoenix beats Memphis 8-5.
6/21/3009 - Phoenix 2B Confucius (.565 / 19 RBI) and Sumerian God Enlil (.611 / 4 HR / 13 RBI) win Player of the Week Awards.
6/21/3009 - Norfolk deity uKqili carries his team to a 6-5 victory over Philadelphia with 3 HRs and 5 RBI.
6/28/3009 - Memphis LF Jesus Christ (.579 / 5 HR / 14 RBI / 1.579 SLG) and Hindu God Vishnu (.421 / 11 RBI / .560 OBP) win Player of the Week Awards.
7/1/3009 - Phoenix 2B Confucius (.500 / 16 HR / 42 RBI) and Columbus SS Vishnu (.484 / 14 HR / 34 RBI) win Batter of the Month Awards.
Deity BA Leader: Hunab Ku .474
Deity HR Leader: Apsu 53
Deity RBI Leader: Confucius 112
Deity SB Leader: A Thetan 57
Deity Career HR Leaderboard
1.) Vishnu 497
2.) Odin 489
3.) Hunab Ku 483
4.) Jesus Christ 481
5.) Ometeotl 470
6.) Altjira 467
7.) Guru Nahak 466
8.) uKqili 465
9.) Ra 454
10.) Confucius 451
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