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enigk · 12-13-2004, 02:42 PM

3009 DCL All-Star Game - July 1st, 3009

It's been two in a row for the UL deities who enter the game with a confident swagger and first-time All-Star Enlil in tow. The CL is looking to get back on track following their past two losses, but will also have to deal with the absence of Bondje from their line-up.

This year's Starting Lineups are as follows:

UL's Starting Line-Up
1.) RF Lao-tzu (.372 / 29 HR / 65 RBI)
2.) 2B Ra (.414 / 34 HR / 82 RBI)
3.) SS Hunab Ku (.474 / 37 HR / 82 RBI)
4.) 3B Odin (.434 / 42 HR / 89 RBI)
5.) 1B Vishnu (.421 / 39 HR / 85 RBI)
6.) C Ometeotl (.459 / 39 HR / 83 RBI)
7.) LF Zeus (.423 / 26 HR / 73 RBI)
8.) CF Mohammed (.396 / 26 HR / 70 RBI)
9.) P Sanford Stam (8-3 / 3.91)

CL's Starting Line-Up
1.) RF Satan (.385 / 32 HR / 74 RBI)
2.) 2B Confucius (.448 / 52 HR / 112 RBI)
3.) C Viracocha (.435 / 38 HR / 91 RBI)
4.) SS Jesus Christ (.451 / 42 HR / 96 RBI)
5.) LF A Thetan (.470 / 27 HR / 79 RBI)
6.) 3B uKqili (.449 / 34 HR / 103 RBI)
7.) CF Tekkeitsertok (.397 / 30 HR / 94 RBI)
8.) 1B Khonvoum (.373 / 37 HR / 83 RBI)
9.) P James Erb (11-2 / 1.63)

Top of the 1st - Taoism icon Lao-tzu came to the plate to start off the 6th DCL All-Star Game and popped one into shallow LF which A Thetan grabbed for the first out. Egyptian Sun God Ra was next and hit one high into the wind blowing in from right, but it just dropped over the wall for a solo HR. Mayan God Hunab Ku lined a base hit up the middle. Reigning UL MVP Odin was next to bat and he got a hold of one into the right-center field gap for a double, putting men on second and third with one out. Hindu deity Vishnu fouled off a number of pitches before grounding one just past a diving uKqili at third base for the single. Hunab Ku scored easily and the third base coach waved home Odin. A Thetan bare-handed the ball and fired it to Viracocha who tagged a sliding Odin for the out. Pittsburgh deity Ometeotl flied out to right-center to end the inning.

UL 2 / CL 0

Bottom of the 1st - A little trickery from the Father of All Lies as Satan attempted to bunt his way on, but was easily thrown out by the pitcher. Phoenix 2B Confucius blistered one on the ground up the middle, but SS Hunab Ku made a great diving stop and fired to first for the second out. With two outs and nobody on, Viracocha was first pitch swinging and rifled one just inside the right field foul pole for the solo HR. Jesus Christ drew the walk on 4 pitches and stole second base on the next pitch. A Thetan worked the count full before grounding out weakly to the shortstop to end the inning.

UL 2 / CL 1

Top of the 2nd - Zeus led off the inning by crushing a line drive which 2B Confucius jumped to grab, just barely snowconing the ball for the out. Islam deity Mohammed fouled a towering shot into the upper deck just outside of the left field line before driving one down into the right field corner for the triple. Mortal UL pitcher Sanford Stam struck out swinging on three straight pitches for the second out. Lao-tzu (0-1) came to the plate and blooped a single into left field, scoring Mohammed from third. Lao-tzu stole second on the next pitch and Ra (1-1 HR) got on top of the next pitch, chopping it to the pitcher who threw to first retiring Ra.

UL 3 / CL 1

Bottom of the 2nd - Zulu God uKqili popped out to 1B Vishnu in foul territory for the first out. Philly RF Tekkeitsertok grounded one down the first base line. Vishnu dove and made a tremendous stop, flipping the ball to Stam for the out. The Pygmy Powerhouse Khonvoum was next to bat and he dribbled one to the pitcher who fired to first to end the inning.

UL 3 / CL 1

Top of the 3rd - SS Hunab Ku (1-1) fouled off a number of pitches, including a couple moon shots which hooked foul, before grounding out weakly to the 2nd baseman. Norse Father God Odin (1-1 2B) was frozen by a wicked curveball, striking him out looking. Odin shattered the bat over his knee and shot out a bolt of energy which melted the gatorade bucket and, unfortunately, the bat boy who was getting a drink at the time. "I apologize to the family of the melted child," Odin would later say, "I have started a charity to help those people injured by angry deities. It is called the 'Odin McOdin House For The Vaporized' and we shall be helping out however we can." Hindu deity Vishnu (1-1 RBI) took a cut at the first pitch he saw and grounded out to first base.

UL 3 / CL 1

Bottom of the 3rd - Mortal pitcher James Erb got a decent cut at a 2-1 fastball, but grounded it right at SS Hunab Ku for the first out. Satanism icon Satan (0-1) took a monster cut at a 3-0 fastball, but popped it up on the infield where 1B Vishnu easily gloved it for the second out. Second baseman Confucius (0-1) strode to the plate and drove one into the right-center field gap, but Islamic deity Mohammed was on his horse and made a diving catch to rob him of the sure double and end the inning.

UL 3 / CL 1

Top of the 4th - The CL brought in pitcher Nathan Portillo to pitch and he induced Aztec God Ometeotl (0-1) to pop out to first base. Greek Father God Zeus (0-1) strode to the plate to Metallica's "Ride The Lightning" and singled just over Khonvoum's glove. Buffalo deity Mohammed (1-1 3B) came to the plate and fouled off a number of pitches before driving one high and deep to right field which dropped into the seats for the 2-run HR. Mortal pitcher Sanford Stam (0-1) was next to bat and struck out looking on three straight pitches. Lao-tzu (1-2 RBI) grounded out to the shortstop for the third out.

UL 5 / CL 1

Bottom of the 4th - The UL brought in pitcher Miles Long and Atlanta catcher Viracocha (1-1 HR) welcomed him to the game by crushing a 2-1 curveball over the right-center field wall for the solo HR, his 2nd of the game. Memphis LF Jesus Christ (0-0 BB) came to the plate and ripped a single up the middle. The hit and run was on and A Thetan (0-1) grounded out to the second baseman, advancing Christ to second. Norfolk deity uKqili (0-1) drew the walk, putting deities on first and second. Philly deity Tekkeitsertok (0-1) grounded one to the second baseman and just barely legged his way out of the double play, leaving deities on the corners with two outs. Tekkeitsertok stole second base on the next pitch and The Pygmy Powerhouse Khonvoum (0-1) grounded another weak ball to the pitcher to end the inning.

UL 5 / CL 2

Top of the 5th - Egyptian Sun God Ra (1-2 HR) doubled into the gap in right-center, just past a diving Satan. Stockton 3B Hunab Ku (1-2) bounced a ball around the right field corner for the RBI triple. Gadsden deity Odin (1-2 2B) popped out to the second baseman for the first out. Columbus deity Vishnu (1-2 RBI) rolled an RBI single up the middle, scoring HuKu from 3rd. Vishnu stole second base. Pittsburgh deity Ometeotl (0-2) rolled one at the shortstop and Vishnu "accidentally" kicked the ball out of the way. The umpires conferred and called Vishnu out for interference. "That is my normal running style," claimed the Hindu deity, "Every one thousand and thirty eighth step, I flail my left leg out to the side...for anyone to say I kicked it on purpose is ludicrous." With two outs and Ometeotl on first, Zeus (1-2) watched the first pitch sail past as Ometeotl stole second. Zeus fouled off a number of pitches, eventually drawing the walk. With deities on first and second, Mohammed (2-2 3B,HR) singled one just past a diving uKqili at 3rd for the RBI single. Mortal pitcher Miles Long was next to bat and popped-out to RF.

UL 8 / CL 2

Bottom of the 5th - Charlotte deity Abraham pinch hit for the pitcher and bounced a triple into the right field corner. Satan (0-2) drew the walk and stole second on the next pitch. Confucius (0-2) dribbled one slowly down the third baseline but there was no throw giving him the infield RBI single. With deities on the corners and no outs, Viracocha (2-2 2HR) lined a ball down the right field line for the RBI double. Lao-tzu badly overthrew the cutoff man allowing Confucius to score and Viracocha to advance to third base. Had earplugs for children not been made mandatory by the league, several children would have burst into flames from the unholy torrent of profanity which shot from Lao-tzu's mouth following the error. The UL brought in pitcher Antonio Yaquet to face Jesus Christ (1-1 BB). Christ drove one into the gap in left-center, but Zeus made a beautiful diving catch to rob him of the hit. Viracocha had already rounded third base and tried desperately to get back to second in time, but Zeus threw the ball in for the double play. Scientology icon A Thetan (0-2) drove one down the left field line which just cleared the foul pole for the solo HR, cutting the lead to 2. uKqili (0-1 BB) got a hold of a 3-1 fastball and drove it to the warning track in left-center where it was gloved by Mohammed to end the inning.

UL 8 / CL 6

Top of the 6th - New pitcher David Newman entered the game for the CL as the United League pinch-hit Altjira for Lao-tzu. Altjira crushed a couple of pitches just foul and eventually grounded out to third base. Sumerian God Enlil got his first All-Star at-bat as he pinch-hit for Ra. Enlil was excited and grounded the first pitch he saw right at the shortstop for the second out. Seattle deity Siddhartha Guatama pinch-hit for HuKu and drew the walk on 5 pitches. Odin gave way to Irish deity Anu who destroyed an 0-2 slider, sending it 441 feet down the left field line for the 2-run HR. Mortal Leon Vasquez came in to bat for Vishnu and he drove one high and deep to center field. Philly deity Tekkeitsertok scaled the wall and robbed Vasquez of the homerun.

UL 10 / CL 6

Bottom of the 6th - Inuit deity Tekkeitsertok (0-2) drew the walk and stole second. The Pygmy Powerhouse (0-2) popped out to right-center field, an improvement over his two groundouts to the pitcher. New York catcher Awonawilona pinch hit for the pitcher and flew one deep down the left field line which was caught for the second out, but advanced Tekkeitsertok to third. Mortal Chadwick Isabel came on to hit for Satan and popped weakly out to right-center field to end the inning.

UL 10 / CL 6

Top of the 7th - Facing new pitcher Trey Breece, Ometeotl (0-3) welcomed him to the game by demolishing his first pitch 451 feet over the center field wall. Zeus (1-2 BB) dropped a double down the right field line. Islamic icon Mohammed (3-3 3B,HR) tapped one to the first baseman for the first out, advancing Zeus to third. Mortal Tomas Salgado pinch hit for the pitcher and grounded out to the shortstop who was playing in to prevent the run. With two outs and a deity on third, Aboriginal deity Altjira (0-1) drew the walk. Cleveland catcher Enlil (0-1) came to the plate and watched the first pitch sail past for a strike as Altjira took off for second base. CL catcher Viracocha lasered a perfect throw down to second and Altjira was tagged out.

UL 11 / CL 6

Bottom of the 7th - Following the 7th inning stretch, Thomas Danner came out to pitch for the UL. Mortal Charles Roberts pinch-hit for Confucius and flew weakly out to right-center field. Viracocha (3-3 2B, 2HR) squibbed a 2-2 slider to the pitcher who threw the ball in the dirt, allowing Viracocha to reach on the error. Memphis LF Jesus Christ (1-2 BB) came to the plate and watched Viracocha steal second base. On the next pitch, Christ ripped one down the left field line and into the corner for the RBI triple. Scientology icon A Thetan (1-3 HR) fouled off a bunch of pitches before rolling one slowly to the shortstop for the second out, but scoring Jesus Christ from third to cut the lead to 3. The UL brought in pitcher Raymond Mohan who got Zulu God uKqili (0-2 BB) in an 0-2 hole before uKqili blooped a single into shallow left-center field. Mortal Vernon Shigeaki pinch-hit for Tekkeitsertok and watched uKqili steal second base. The next pitch, Shigeaki bounced a routine ball to third base to end the inning.

UL 11 / CL 8

Top of the 8th - First time All-Star Enlil (0-1) ripped one down the first base line, but Khonvoum made a great diving catch to rob him of extra bases. Buddhism deity Siddhartha Guatama (0-0 BB) drove one into the wind in right-center, but it had enough mustard to drop 10 feet behind the fence for the solo homerun. El Paso deity Anu (1-1 HR) rolled one to third base for the second out and mortal Leon Vasquez struck out swinging on 3 straight pitches for the third out.

UL 12 / CL 8

Bottom of the 8th - Khonvoum (0-3) came to the plate with 6 outs left for the CL All-Star squad. After taking two pitches for strikes, Khonvoum took a cut at an 0-2 curveball and grounded out to the shortstop. The CL let pitcher Trey Breece bat and he responded by striking out on three pitches. Babylonian God Apsu came to the plate for the first time and grounded out to second base to end the inning.

UL 12 / CL 8

Top of the 9th - CL pitcher Thomas Brubaker entered the game and walked Ometeotl (1-4 HR) on 4 straight pitches. Ometeotl stole second and Zeus (2-3 2B) tapped one back to the pitcher for the first out. Mohammed (3-4 3B,HR) popped a routine fly ball into CF for the second out. Mortal Eddy Ortiz pinch-hit for the pitcher and drew the walk. With runners on first and second and two outs, Altjira (0-1 BB) came to the plate to extend the UL's lead, but grounded an easy ball to the shortstop for the third out.

UL 12 / CL 8

Bottom of the 9th - Facing new UL pitcher Steven Spino and with only 3 outs left to go, Mortal Lee Bewley came to the plate and struck out looking on three straight pitches. CL catcher Viracocha (3-4 2B,2 HR) strode confidently to the plate and got ahead in the count 2-0. Spino grooved a fastball to Viracocha who got it in his wheelhouse and clobbered it to dead center field for the solo HR, his third HR of the game. With the lead cut to 3, Memphis LF Jesus Christ (2-3 3B) fouled off a bunch of pitches before tagging a ball in between short and third base for the single. A Thetan (1-4 HR) came to the plate as 'She Blinded Me With Science' blared out of the PA speakers. Thetan took a monster cut at a 1-1 fastball and drove it high and deep to right-center field. UL CF Mohammed scaled the wall but the ball was about 6 inches over his glove for the 2-run HR, cutting the lead to just one run and driving the crowd into a frenzy. Zulu God uKqili (1-3 BB) walked calmly to the plate to face UL pitcher Steven Spino who looked quite frazzled. Spino fell behind 3-0 and telegraphed a fastball right down the heart of the plate which uKqili turned on. The ball sailed high and deep to center field, but got caught in the wind and dropped into Mohammed's glove on the warning track for the second out, deflating the crowd. Mortal Vernon Shigeaki was sweating as he took the plate and took a cut at the first pitch he saw, rolling it to third base for the final out of the game.

FINAL SCORE: UL 12 / CL 11

The CL claws its way back into the game at the end, but the UL squad was there to step on its fingers and send it falling backwards. The UL counters the CL's 3 game All-Star win streak with a 3 game win streak of its own ensuring balance in the universe. In the losing effort, CL deity Viracocha was named All-Star MVP for his 4-5, 4 runs scored, 4 RBI, 2B, 3 HRs and a stolen base. The Incan God was happy to receive the award, but mildly depressed by the loss. "I am happy to receive the award," stated Viracocha, "but mildly depressed by the loss. I was seeing the ball real well out there tonight and got some good swings. Had we gotten anything out of the Pygmy Pu**y at first base, maybe we could have won this game..."

"What the **** did he call me?!?" inquired the Pygmy Pu**y when told of Viracocha's derogatory comments. Khonvoum charged Viracocha, sending several innocent bystanders and banks of lockers flying. The two rolled around for a minute before Abraham, Tekkeitsertok and Jesus Christ were able to pull them apart. All press members were ordered out of the locker room as raised voices spilled profanity-laced tirades which shook plaster from the walls.

In the winner's locker room, Sumerian God Enlil was asked about his first All-Star appearance, "Well, I'll be honest, I wasn't too happy with the O-fer [0-2], but it was nice being here and hanging out with all my fellow deities...it really is like a brotherhood, you know? Either way, now that I've gotten a taste for it, I definitely want to...[sounds of destruction]...what the hell is going on over in the CL locker room?"

12-13-2004, 02:42 PM	#142 (permalink)
enigk Minors (Double A) Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 116 Thanks: 0 Thanked 0x in 0 posts	3009 DCL All-Star Game - July 1st, 3009 It's been two in a row for the UL deities who enter the game with a confident swagger and first-time All-Star Enlil in tow. The CL is looking to get back on track following their past two losses, but will also have to deal with the absence of Bondje from their line-up. This year's Starting Lineups are as follows: UL's Starting Line-Up 1.) RF Lao-tzu (.372 / 29 HR / 65 RBI) 2.) 2B Ra (.414 / 34 HR / 82 RBI) 3.) SS Hunab Ku (.474 / 37 HR / 82 RBI) 4.) 3B Odin (.434 / 42 HR / 89 RBI) 5.) 1B Vishnu (.421 / 39 HR / 85 RBI) 6.) C Ometeotl (.459 / 39 HR / 83 RBI) 7.) LF Zeus (.423 / 26 HR / 73 RBI) 8.) CF Mohammed (.396 / 26 HR / 70 RBI) 9.) P Sanford Stam (8-3 / 3.91) CL's Starting Line-Up 1.) RF Satan (.385 / 32 HR / 74 RBI) 2.) 2B Confucius (.448 / 52 HR / 112 RBI) 3.) C Viracocha (.435 / 38 HR / 91 RBI) 4.) SS Jesus Christ (.451 / 42 HR / 96 RBI) 5.) LF A Thetan (.470 / 27 HR / 79 RBI) 6.) 3B uKqili (.449 / 34 HR / 103 RBI) 7.) CF Tekkeitsertok (.397 / 30 HR / 94 RBI) 8.) 1B Khonvoum (.373 / 37 HR / 83 RBI) 9.) P James Erb (11-2 / 1.63) Top of the 1st - Taoism icon Lao-tzu came to the plate to start off the 6th DCL All-Star Game and popped one into shallow LF which A Thetan grabbed for the first out. Egyptian Sun God Ra was next and hit one high into the wind blowing in from right, but it just dropped over the wall for a solo HR. Mayan God Hunab Ku lined a base hit up the middle. Reigning UL MVP Odin was next to bat and he got a hold of one into the right-center field gap for a double, putting men on second and third with one out. Hindu deity Vishnu fouled off a number of pitches before grounding one just past a diving uKqili at third base for the single. Hunab Ku scored easily and the third base coach waved home Odin. A Thetan bare-handed the ball and fired it to Viracocha who tagged a sliding Odin for the out. Pittsburgh deity Ometeotl flied out to right-center to end the inning. UL 2 / CL 0 Bottom of the 1st - A little trickery from the Father of All Lies as Satan attempted to bunt his way on, but was easily thrown out by the pitcher. Phoenix 2B Confucius blistered one on the ground up the middle, but SS Hunab Ku made a great diving stop and fired to first for the second out. With two outs and nobody on, Viracocha was first pitch swinging and rifled one just inside the right field foul pole for the solo HR. Jesus Christ drew the walk on 4 pitches and stole second base on the next pitch. A Thetan worked the count full before grounding out weakly to the shortstop to end the inning. UL 2 / CL 1 Top of the 2nd - Zeus led off the inning by crushing a line drive which 2B Confucius jumped to grab, just barely snowconing the ball for the out. Islam deity Mohammed fouled a towering shot into the upper deck just outside of the left field line before driving one down into the right field corner for the triple. Mortal UL pitcher Sanford Stam struck out swinging on three straight pitches for the second out. Lao-tzu (0-1) came to the plate and blooped a single into left field, scoring Mohammed from third. Lao-tzu stole second on the next pitch and Ra (1-1 HR) got on top of the next pitch, chopping it to the pitcher who threw to first retiring Ra. UL 3 / CL 1 Bottom of the 2nd - Zulu God uKqili popped out to 1B Vishnu in foul territory for the first out. Philly RF Tekkeitsertok grounded one down the first base line. Vishnu dove and made a tremendous stop, flipping the ball to Stam for the out. The Pygmy Powerhouse Khonvoum was next to bat and he dribbled one to the pitcher who fired to first to end the inning. UL 3 / CL 1 Top of the 3rd - SS Hunab Ku (1-1) fouled off a number of pitches, including a couple moon shots which hooked foul, before grounding out weakly to the 2nd baseman. Norse Father God Odin (1-1 2B) was frozen by a wicked curveball, striking him out looking. Odin shattered the bat over his knee and shot out a bolt of energy which melted the gatorade bucket and, unfortunately, the bat boy who was getting a drink at the time. "I apologize to the family of the melted child," Odin would later say, "I have started a charity to help those people injured by angry deities. It is called the 'Odin McOdin House For The Vaporized' and we shall be helping out however we can." Hindu deity Vishnu (1-1 RBI) took a cut at the first pitch he saw and grounded out to first base. UL 3 / CL 1 Bottom of the 3rd - Mortal pitcher James Erb got a decent cut at a 2-1 fastball, but grounded it right at SS Hunab Ku for the first out. Satanism icon Satan (0-1) took a monster cut at a 3-0 fastball, but popped it up on the infield where 1B Vishnu easily gloved it for the second out. Second baseman Confucius (0-1) strode to the plate and drove one into the right-center field gap, but Islamic deity Mohammed was on his horse and made a diving catch to rob him of the sure double and end the inning. UL 3 / CL 1 Top of the 4th - The CL brought in pitcher Nathan Portillo to pitch and he induced Aztec God Ometeotl (0-1) to pop out to first base. Greek Father God Zeus (0-1) strode to the plate to Metallica's "Ride The Lightning" and singled just over Khonvoum's glove. Buffalo deity Mohammed (1-1 3B) came to the plate and fouled off a number of pitches before driving one high and deep to right field which dropped into the seats for the 2-run HR. Mortal pitcher Sanford Stam (0-1) was next to bat and struck out looking on three straight pitches. Lao-tzu (1-2 RBI) grounded out to the shortstop for the third out. UL 5 / CL 1 Bottom of the 4th - The UL brought in pitcher Miles Long and Atlanta catcher Viracocha (1-1 HR) welcomed him to the game by crushing a 2-1 curveball over the right-center field wall for the solo HR, his 2nd of the game. Memphis LF Jesus Christ (0-0 BB) came to the plate and ripped a single up the middle. The hit and run was on and A Thetan (0-1) grounded out to the second baseman, advancing Christ to second. Norfolk deity uKqili (0-1) drew the walk, putting deities on first and second. Philly deity Tekkeitsertok (0-1) grounded one to the second baseman and just barely legged his way out of the double play, leaving deities on the corners with two outs. Tekkeitsertok stole second base on the next pitch and The Pygmy Powerhouse Khonvoum (0-1) grounded another weak ball to the pitcher to end the inning. UL 5 / CL 2 Top of the 5th - Egyptian Sun God Ra (1-2 HR) doubled into the gap in right-center, just past a diving Satan. Stockton 3B Hunab Ku (1-2) bounced a ball around the right field corner for the RBI triple. Gadsden deity Odin (1-2 2B) popped out to the second baseman for the first out. Columbus deity Vishnu (1-2 RBI) rolled an RBI single up the middle, scoring HuKu from 3rd. Vishnu stole second base. Pittsburgh deity Ometeotl (0-2) rolled one at the shortstop and Vishnu "accidentally" kicked the ball out of the way. The umpires conferred and called Vishnu out for interference. "That is my normal running style," claimed the Hindu deity, "Every one thousand and thirty eighth step, I flail my left leg out to the side...for anyone to say I kicked it on purpose is ludicrous." With two outs and Ometeotl on first, Zeus (1-2) watched the first pitch sail past as Ometeotl stole second. Zeus fouled off a number of pitches, eventually drawing the walk. With deities on first and second, Mohammed (2-2 3B,HR) singled one just past a diving uKqili at 3rd for the RBI single. Mortal pitcher Miles Long was next to bat and popped-out to RF. UL 8 / CL 2 Bottom of the 5th - Charlotte deity Abraham pinch hit for the pitcher and bounced a triple into the right field corner. Satan (0-2) drew the walk and stole second on the next pitch. Confucius (0-2) dribbled one slowly down the third baseline but there was no throw giving him the infield RBI single. With deities on the corners and no outs, Viracocha (2-2 2HR) lined a ball down the right field line for the RBI double. Lao-tzu badly overthrew the cutoff man allowing Confucius to score and Viracocha to advance to third base. Had earplugs for children not been made mandatory by the league, several children would have burst into flames from the unholy torrent of profanity which shot from Lao-tzu's mouth following the error. The UL brought in pitcher Antonio Yaquet to face Jesus Christ (1-1 BB). Christ drove one into the gap in left-center, but Zeus made a beautiful diving catch to rob him of the hit. Viracocha had already rounded third base and tried desperately to get back to second in time, but Zeus threw the ball in for the double play. Scientology icon A Thetan (0-2) drove one down the left field line which just cleared the foul pole for the solo HR, cutting the lead to 2. uKqili (0-1 BB) got a hold of a 3-1 fastball and drove it to the warning track in left-center where it was gloved by Mohammed to end the inning. UL 8 / CL 6 Top of the 6th - New pitcher David Newman entered the game for the CL as the United League pinch-hit Altjira for Lao-tzu. Altjira crushed a couple of pitches just foul and eventually grounded out to third base. Sumerian God Enlil got his first All-Star at-bat as he pinch-hit for Ra. Enlil was excited and grounded the first pitch he saw right at the shortstop for the second out. Seattle deity Siddhartha Guatama pinch-hit for HuKu and drew the walk on 5 pitches. Odin gave way to Irish deity Anu who destroyed an 0-2 slider, sending it 441 feet down the left field line for the 2-run HR. Mortal Leon Vasquez came in to bat for Vishnu and he drove one high and deep to center field. Philly deity Tekkeitsertok scaled the wall and robbed Vasquez of the homerun. UL 10 / CL 6 Bottom of the 6th - Inuit deity Tekkeitsertok (0-2) drew the walk and stole second. The Pygmy Powerhouse (0-2) popped out to right-center field, an improvement over his two groundouts to the pitcher. New York catcher Awonawilona pinch hit for the pitcher and flew one deep down the left field line which was caught for the second out, but advanced Tekkeitsertok to third. Mortal Chadwick Isabel came on to hit for Satan and popped weakly out to right-center field to end the inning. UL 10 / CL 6 Top of the 7th - Facing new pitcher Trey Breece, Ometeotl (0-3) welcomed him to the game by demolishing his first pitch 451 feet over the center field wall. Zeus (1-2 BB) dropped a double down the right field line. Islamic icon Mohammed (3-3 3B,HR) tapped one to the first baseman for the first out, advancing Zeus to third. Mortal Tomas Salgado pinch hit for the pitcher and grounded out to the shortstop who was playing in to prevent the run. With two outs and a deity on third, Aboriginal deity Altjira (0-1) drew the walk. Cleveland catcher Enlil (0-1) came to the plate and watched the first pitch sail past for a strike as Altjira took off for second base. CL catcher Viracocha lasered a perfect throw down to second and Altjira was tagged out. UL 11 / CL 6 Bottom of the 7th - Following the 7th inning stretch, Thomas Danner came out to pitch for the UL. Mortal Charles Roberts pinch-hit for Confucius and flew weakly out to right-center field. Viracocha (3-3 2B, 2HR) squibbed a 2-2 slider to the pitcher who threw the ball in the dirt, allowing Viracocha to reach on the error. Memphis LF Jesus Christ (1-2 BB) came to the plate and watched Viracocha steal second base. On the next pitch, Christ ripped one down the left field line and into the corner for the RBI triple. Scientology icon A Thetan (1-3 HR) fouled off a bunch of pitches before rolling one slowly to the shortstop for the second out, but scoring Jesus Christ from third to cut the lead to 3. The UL brought in pitcher Raymond Mohan who got Zulu God uKqili (0-2 BB) in an 0-2 hole before uKqili blooped a single into shallow left-center field. Mortal Vernon Shigeaki pinch-hit for Tekkeitsertok and watched uKqili steal second base. The next pitch, Shigeaki bounced a routine ball to third base to end the inning. UL 11 / CL 8 Top of the 8th - First time All-Star Enlil (0-1) ripped one down the first base line, but Khonvoum made a great diving catch to rob him of extra bases. Buddhism deity Siddhartha Guatama (0-0 BB) drove one into the wind in right-center, but it had enough mustard to drop 10 feet behind the fence for the solo homerun. El Paso deity Anu (1-1 HR) rolled one to third base for the second out and mortal Leon Vasquez struck out swinging on 3 straight pitches for the third out. UL 12 / CL 8 Bottom of the 8th - Khonvoum (0-3) came to the plate with 6 outs left for the CL All-Star squad. After taking two pitches for strikes, Khonvoum took a cut at an 0-2 curveball and grounded out to the shortstop. The CL let pitcher Trey Breece bat and he responded by striking out on three pitches. Babylonian God Apsu came to the plate for the first time and grounded out to second base to end the inning. UL 12 / CL 8 Top of the 9th - CL pitcher Thomas Brubaker entered the game and walked Ometeotl (1-4 HR) on 4 straight pitches. Ometeotl stole second and Zeus (2-3 2B) tapped one back to the pitcher for the first out. Mohammed (3-4 3B,HR) popped a routine fly ball into CF for the second out. Mortal Eddy Ortiz pinch-hit for the pitcher and drew the walk. With runners on first and second and two outs, Altjira (0-1 BB) came to the plate to extend the UL's lead, but grounded an easy ball to the shortstop for the third out. UL 12 / CL 8 Bottom of the 9th - Facing new UL pitcher Steven Spino and with only 3 outs left to go, Mortal Lee Bewley came to the plate and struck out looking on three straight pitches. CL catcher Viracocha (3-4 2B,2 HR) strode confidently to the plate and got ahead in the count 2-0. Spino grooved a fastball to Viracocha who got it in his wheelhouse and clobbered it to dead center field for the solo HR, his third HR of the game. With the lead cut to 3, Memphis LF Jesus Christ (2-3 3B) fouled off a bunch of pitches before tagging a ball in between short and third base for the single. A Thetan (1-4 HR) came to the plate as 'She Blinded Me With Science' blared out of the PA speakers. Thetan took a monster cut at a 1-1 fastball and drove it high and deep to right-center field. UL CF Mohammed scaled the wall but the ball was about 6 inches over his glove for the 2-run HR, cutting the lead to just one run and driving the crowd into a frenzy. Zulu God uKqili (1-3 BB) walked calmly to the plate to face UL pitcher Steven Spino who looked quite frazzled. Spino fell behind 3-0 and telegraphed a fastball right down the heart of the plate which uKqili turned on. The ball sailed high and deep to center field, but got caught in the wind and dropped into Mohammed's glove on the warning track for the second out, deflating the crowd. Mortal Vernon Shigeaki was sweating as he took the plate and took a cut at the first pitch he saw, rolling it to third base for the final out of the game. FINAL SCORE: UL 12 / CL 11 The CL claws its way back into the game at the end, but the UL squad was there to step on its fingers and send it falling backwards. The UL counters the CL's 3 game All-Star win streak with a 3 game win streak of its own ensuring balance in the universe. In the losing effort, CL deity Viracocha was named All-Star MVP for his 4-5, 4 runs scored, 4 RBI, 2B, 3 HRs and a stolen base. The Incan God was happy to receive the award, but mildly depressed by the loss. "I am happy to receive the award," stated Viracocha, "but mildly depressed by the loss. I was seeing the ball real well out there tonight and got some good swings. Had we gotten anything out of the Pygmy Puy at first base, maybe we could have won this game..." "What the did he call me?!?" inquired the Pygmy Puy when told of Viracocha's derogatory comments. Khonvoum charged Viracocha, sending several innocent bystanders and banks of lockers flying. The two rolled around for a minute before Abraham, Tekkeitsertok and Jesus Christ were able to pull them apart. All press members were ordered out of the locker room as raised voices spilled profanity-laced tirades which shook plaster from the walls. In the winner's locker room, Sumerian God Enlil was asked about his first All-Star appearance, "Well, I'll be honest, I wasn't too happy with the O-fer [0-2], but it was nice being here and hanging out with all my fellow deities...it really is like a brotherhood, you know? Either way, now that I've gotten a taste for it, I definitely want to...[sounds of destruction]...what the hell is going on over in the CL locker room?"