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ZEUS SIGNS WITH LEWISTON
Lewiston (AP) - Look out, Lewiston, there's a new deity in town! After letting Free Agent Deity Altjira skip town, Lewiston brings in Greek Father God Zeus only 3 days into Free Agency to fill his shoes. Zeus' 7-year, $133 million dollar contract (just over $19M per season) represents a long-term investment in a solid outfielder.
Zeus has a decent year last season following a poor 3008 campaign and has a lifetime average of .432 with 416 home runs. Zeus has hit two cycles, been named Player of the Week 9 times, Batter of the Month twice and has been awarded 3 Golden Gloves in his 6 year career. Zeus' best year was 3005, when he hit .466 with 87 HRs and 211 RBI.
There have been whispers bandied about regarding the signing of Zeus, since his career numbers are much lower than those of the deity which was not resigned in Lewiston, Altjira. Many feel that this move was ordered from the owner of the team, Teodore Poskudopalis, a Greek billionaire who financed the team from its onset.
"I am happy to be coming to beautiful town with such wonderful fans and an intelligent, Zeus-fearing owner," stated Zeus at a press conference announcing the signing, "I look forward to bringing many, many years of unbridled happiness and success to the fans here in Lewiston and to Greek followers the world over. I only have one command. Dare not to boo Zeus. All who boo Zeus will be swallowed in a fiery hell of pain the mere notion of which they could not conceive."
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