Fake Ads for Stadiums - Your Ideas Please

[Teflon Skies]

I'm thinking of using made-up ads in my ballparks instead of real brands. A couple of benefits would be that I could create a better quality image and be able to use the ads with a lot more flexibility. Anyone who's played High Heat has probably seen some of their made-up brands, like Hi Ho Cola.

What I'm asking from the OOTP community is to come up with some believable concepts for these new ads. I'd like to know the product type, the brand name, and either a slogan or a logo idea.

Here's an example-

Product: Beer
Brand: Pioneer Beer
Slogan: Explore a new frontier of taste
Logo Idea: A Daniel Boone-looking character

You can be as brief or as detailed as you choose. Maybe even insert polling into your post to let the OOTP community vote on them.

Besides the use in the ballparks, I think the new ads would be kind of cool in that they would add a unique flavor to OOTP. Any league that wished to do so could use the fake ads in their web-sites. I would post all of the graphics at a web page and make them readily available.

Hoping for some good creativity from you guys. The ads can either be present day or from the past - your choice. Typical products you might start with would be Beer, Cars, Gasoline, Oil, Soda, Banks, Tires, Fast Food Chains...

[goroyals]

Product: Magizine
Brand: Payoff Pitch Weekly
Slogan: ? (help wanted)
Logo Idea: Pitcher in striding towards home.

Product: Pizza
Brand: Lugi's Brick Oven Pizza
Slogan: A slice of Italy
Logo: Company name on Italian flag

[DreamTeams]

Product: Fine Handcrafted Bats
Brand: Wonder Boy
Slogan: Hit Away!
Logo idea: Lightning insignia or bat with lightning insignia on it.

[Sandstorm3]

Product: game
Brand: Golf & Seek
Slogan: "a good drive puts you into the trees"
Logo: (attached)

*Golf & Seek is a game a friend and I created 2 years ago. we numbered our practice balls and drove them into the woods behind his house (golf) and then went and found as many as posible (seek) we would then inventory them on a spread sheet, then do it again

[Tiger Fan]

Product: Beer
Brand: Squirrel Ass Beer - Concept - it comes in a 25 pack with the 25th beer shaped like a tail hanging out the back of the case.

Slogan: Sink your teeth into a squirrel ass.
Get some squirrel ass
Squirrel Ass - the road kill of beers

Logo Idea: I think we all have a decent idea of what the logo would look like.

[TC Dale]

I am thinking this one over.... but I hope folks that are working on this would make some 20's thru 40's ads as well. Cigarettes, Beer, Soap, Baseball Cards, the list is endless.


Sure would help the historical players out a lot.

[hookman]

Product - Beer

Brand - Near Beer

Slogan - "It Ain't Beer but it's Close Enough" or "You're Never Too Far From a Near Beer"

Logo - Basic beer bottle with a red circle and diagonal slash through it

-----------------------------------

Product - Beer

Brand - Barely Beer

Slogan - "It's So Good You Won't Remember Drinking It"

Logo - Teddy bear holding a beer bottle

------------------------------------

Product - Soap

Brand - Cuss Soap

Slogan - "Tastes Just Like You Remember"

Logo - Cute little boy with a bar in his mouth and a smile.

[potatoman]

Product: Orange Juice
Brand: Crazy AL's Diet OJ
Slogan: Lose weight now! Just drink C.A.D.O.J.!
Logo Idea: Orange Juice carton (plastic bottle) with Brand name on it and a skinny girl drinking a mini one on the side....

[Hammer755]

I remember the old Triple Play games had the announcers read commercials for fake products. They had billboards for these products in the stadiums also.

Chork - Not quite chicken, not quite pork, it's chork!!!

Lobster Cola - The refreshing taste of lobster, in cola form!!!

[LAH]

How about using some from the Simpsons...

Duff Beer, etc...

[LivnLegend]

Re: The Simpsons

A whole mess of stores have popped up in episodes'some featured in the storyline, others were blink and you miss them background items.

Gun Shop - BloodBath and Beyond
Pastry Shop - The French Confection
Investing service - IPO Friday's
Museum - Louvre: American Style
Family Restaurant - Texas Cheesecake Depository
Soup Kitchen - Helter Shelter
Seafood Restaurant - The Fryin' Dutchman
Middle eastern restaurant - Two Guys from Kabul
Discount Store - Try 'n' Save
Dog Obedience Schools - Eastside Ruff-Form School
Music shop - Suicide Notes and Tommy Toots
New Age Shop - Karmaceuticals
Girls school - Saint Sebastian's School for Wicked Girls
Repo man - Repo Depot
Outdoor Clothing Store - Malaria Zone
Gourmet Food store - Eatie Gourmet's
Toy Store - Valley of the Dolls
Roach Motel - The Ritz Carlton Hotel for Vagrants
Comic book store - Androids Dungeon
Air conditioner store - It Blows
Boys' Clothing Store - Wee Monsieur
Law Office - I Can't Believe It's A Law Firm!
Joke/Novelty Shop: Yuckingham Palace
Jewelry store - The Family Jewels
Shop selling casserole dishes - Stoner's Pot Palace

[hawkeye812]

Ski Council of Nebraska, another classic from the Triple Play franchise

[ctorg]

Bass-O-Matic from the old SNL skit with Dan Aykroyd is a hilarious one.

How about...

Product: Chick-Pops
(Chicken Flavored Ice Cream Pops)

Slogan: It's the Chicken you'll keep on Lickin'!

Logo: A chicken on a popsicle stick

[Teflon Skies]

I appreciate the humor - but would emphasize the word "believable" again from my initial post.

[KennyW]

how about something like the Unpainted Arizona furniture super store from the movie Raising Arizona?


"You won't find a cheaper price on furniture or my name's not Nathan Arizona!"

[Tib]

Product: Extra long furnace and oven matches for lighting pilot flames.
Brand: Strike-A-Lite Matches
Slogan: Cold at Night? Use Strike-A-Lite!
Logo: Matchbox and 40's looking man's smiling face holding a lit match.


Product: Industrial and Farm Tires - regional
Brand: Goliath Tire Company
Slogan: For Giant Jobs, Get Goliath
Logo: A bearded giant holding a tractor tire over his head or maybe holding two tires, one on each outstretched arm.


Product: Cars
Brand: Excelsior Automoblie Company
Slogan: Drive Excellence, Drive An Excelsior
Logo: Futuristic car (40s style "car of the future")
"Featuring the Excelci-glide Push-button Transmission"

Product: Home Construction
Brand: The Stephenson Company
Slogan: Is your home a Stephenson home?
Logo: Nuclear family standing outside their fine looking 50's style house.
"Own a modern home. Buy a Stephenson home."

Is this more what you're looking for?

[WillTheThrill]

Product: Portable, snack food, communion wafers
Brand: Jesus In A Can
Slogan: Wash away sins and hunger!
Logo: Large can with cartoon Jesus taking a bite giving thumbs up...or....cross with Jesus In A Can written on the horizontal part

May not seem believable....but you just wait

[Teflon Skies]

Tib - Yes - Great ideas. Thanks!

[Dark Horse]

Here's a fake company i use in our online league.

Product: Sporting Goods
Brand: Super Colossal Sporting Goods
Slogan: "We've Got The Goods!"

Super Colossal Sporting Goods sponsors the field awards in the league. Or at least they did until some controversy (voting bias) came up. Here are a couple of commercials from the first show.

COMMERCIAL: (Man in suit and tie, walking through large department store. As he walks he passes rows of sporting goods and apparel.) Hello, my name is Judge Knox, the owner of Super Colossal Sporting Goods. The Super Colossal family is proud to sponsor this award for fielding excellence. It makes us feel like we are a part of this growing Laseron Baseball Association. And when you want to feel like you’re a part of your favorite team, whether its the Rock Hounds or the Breakers or one of the other teams, come to our store to get that baseball cap or jersey. And when you want to be a part of the game and make your own great plays, come see us, we’ve got the goods.

COMMERCIAL: (Famous voice from NFL films that described “the Frozen Tundra”. Really authoritative. It is used to narrate the commercial)

“To play this game” (You see Dell Bradley taking a mighty swing, focus on the bat connecting with the ball) “You need the right equipment” (You see Tim Huckleberry as he’s laces up his shoes, he puts his cap on head, grabs his glove and walks out of the dugout to mound.) “To play this game” (You see Matt Cruise blowing a fastball by a batter for a strikeout. Then cut to a scene of Average Joe throwing a pitch behind a batter and breaking a window.) “You need talent” (You see Buckshot Coles diving for a ground ball. Then you see Average Jane letting a slow rolling softball roll between her legs.) “Well, we can help you get the equipment. At Super Colossal, we’ve got the goods.”

[Dark Horse]

Great idea by the way!