Vegas Odds of FBBL-related occurances

[crackpott]

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<TR><TD VALIGN="top"><b>Odds</b></TD><TD><b>Occurance</b></TD></TR>
<TR><TD>1:5</TD><TD>One of the applicants who applies after reading this will be booted for inactivity or general stupidity before the season ends</TD></TR>
<TR><TD>1:2</TD><TD>The applicant will think the website looks like crap if not on 1024 x 768 res</TD></TR>
<TR><TD>1:1</TD><TD>Someone will find this post offensive somehow</TD></TR>
<TR><TD>1:1</TD><TD>I don't let someone into the league if they ask why JP Ricciardi traded the jays "Good Players" when he unloaded Gonzalez and Mondesi. The concept of finances and the Mendoza line must be foreign to these individuals.</TD></TR>
<TR><TD>2:1</TD><TD>Someone will say that they'd love to join the FBBL, but they just don't have the time</TD></TR>
<TR><TD>3:1</TD><TD>This topic will become more about Laura Prepon than the league itself</TD></TR>
<TR><TD>4:1</TD><TD>I think of a more witty post next time</TD></TR>
<TR><TD>5:1</TD><TD>We get an applicant who I DON'T kick out for sucking more dick than Richard Simmons</TD></TR>
<TR><TD>6:1</TD><TD>Someone will ask me tomorrow when the stats will be up in less than 30 seconds after I log on after coming back from watching the Jays beat the White Sox</TD></TR>
<TR><TD>10:1</TD><TD>I put up a blonde as the next league photo</TD></TR>
<TR><TD>10:1</TD><TD>Laura decides to show her gratitude to her biggest fan orally</TD></TR>
<TR><TD>15:1</TD><TD>I tell the applicant to download the song "Soma" and they actually know who it's by.</TD></TR>
<TR><TD>20:1</TD><TD>I insult someone for being ignorant, arrogant, and a general pain in the ass. Generally called "Americans"</TD></TR>
<TR><TD>20:1</TD><TD>Someone decides not to join the league because they don't like smartass Canadians</TD></TR>
<TR><TD>50:1</TD><TD>I put up a brunette as the next league photo</TD></TR>
<TR><TD>100:1</TD><TD>Steve decides to join the league</TD></TR>
<TR><TD>150:1</TD><TD>I get an owner as wacky and crazily active as myself, who also loves redheads.</TD></TR>
<TR><TD>200:1</TD><TD>My computer blows up trying to run OOTP and Kazaa at the same time</TD></TR>
<TR><TD>10000:1</TD><TD>I get a letter from Laura's lawyer</TD></TR>
<TR><TD>1000000:1</TD><TD>Laura decides to join the league</TD></TR>
<TR><TD>1000000:1</TD><TD>I put up a screenshot of my girlfriend naked as the next league photo</TD></TR>
<TR><TD>1000000000:1</TD><TD>I put up a screenshot of me naked as the next league photo</TD></TR>
<TR><TD>1000000000000:1</TD><TD>Laura decides to show her gratitude to her biggest fan orally (in the more entertaining sense)</TD></TR>
<TR><TD>Guaranteed</TD><TD>I change my avatar back if I get enough owners</TD></TR>
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Ya know what? I probably should provide contact info if you're interested in being an owner, or writing articles for a league that'll leave you debating your stance on whether the internet should be censored.
E-Mail: <A HREF="mailto:crackpott@rogers.com?subject=I'm a certified psychopath. I would like to join your league.">crackpott@rogers.com</a>
ICQ: 4249716
AIM: BJGM
Carrier Pidgeon: Send him to the only place in Toronto where no one in the house cares about the Maple Leafs.
Canada Post: Forget it. It'll never arrive.
Fedex: It'll arrive, and they'll accidently charge me $1400 for delivery
By Hand: Leave the note under the garbage can at the corner of Spadina and Bremner Blvd. at 5:30 on weekday Jays home games.

2nd edit: I should also provide a link for those of you who are too dumb to look in my signature... i'm not sure how long you'd last in the league anyway.
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[joshuaaaaaa]

I'd like to point out that during crackpott's avatar strike, I still provide a quality redhead as my avatar.

[crackpott]

And I'd like to say my original redhead was better.
(odds 3:1 successful)

[joshuaaaaaa]

Sure, she was better...if you're obsessed with unattainable TV actresses. At least I treat the OOTP community to a variety of unattainable lingerie models.

[crackpott]

and I treat them to Donovan McNabb's face on Laura Prepon's body. take <i>THAT</i>

[joshuaaaaaa]

And you see how popular that move has been.

[crackpott]

If you remember, the whole purpose was that it wasn't supposed to be popular. Mission successful.

[Rush22]

I'm offended.

[joshuaaaaaa]

Originally posted by crackpott
If you remember, the whole purpose was that it wasn't supposed to be popular. Mission successful.

Actually, your purpose was to scare/disgust people into becoming FBBL owners, and in that it's failed miserably.

So there!

[crackpott]

ya... well... damn. I have nothing to say to that.

[Sagitta]

Well.. um.. Mitch Williams in '93!!

<waits>

Aw, hell, you're Canadian... thats not gonna work.

<sulks>

-J

[joshuaaaaaa]

Crackpott is Canadian, I am not. My dollar is worth something.

[crackpott]

but your opinion isn't.

[rferry]

10:1 chance you'll connect to the site.

[crackpott]

Sorry... not usually like that. My cable's been down recently. It's back up.

[treedom]

"Carrier Pidgeon: Send him to the only place in Toronto where no one in the house cares about the Maple Leafs."

I don't want any mangy birds in my house, thanks...

[Kurtis R.]

Me thinks if you put more blondes on the main page.. you would have more success.

Kurtis

[joshuaaaaaa]

Why put more blondes when they are clearly inferior to redheads.

Not that I'm biased towards redheads or anything like that.

I'd opt for nudity on the front page, but then half the league owners would be too young to look at it.

[crackpott]

...legally the commissioner included.

The Rogers service agreement stipulates I CAN have porn, but I'd need one of those "18 to enter" things... and for a baseball league, that just seems wrong...