SHORT HOP - My Career In Baseball by David Driscoll

[TwinsFan86]

Now if we could just a our Saturday chapter before I have to go to work in 20 minutes.

[Tib]

Okay, so the Saturday installment gets moved to Sunday. Hope this doesn't screw with anyone's schedule like it screwed with mine. It just wasn't done yesterday; too much tweaking to do. In fact, Dave's tour of Japan is getting so long I'm posting it in two parts - one today and the next on Saturday.

This was another example of the story going where it will. I originally had no intention of ever sending him to Japan until I wrote that bit about how Gwen would be close to him even if he was in Japan and she was in Little Rock (last chapter). After that I became but a pawn, moved by the Muse to include a foray to the Land of the Rising Sun.

These off-season chapters just get longer and longer... Well, I guess that was sort of the idea.

[Tib]

Chapter 26:

The Gurabunai of Usagi-goro

There is nothing like Japan. In all my travels I have not enjoyed a place more. Especially Tokyo. People don’t realize how big that city is. People know it’s big, but you can’t have any appreciation for how big until you walk the streets, or try to get from one side of the city to the other. Mexico City is big in area and is crammed with buildings and alleyways. Tokyo is pure concrete and steel, like New York, but with a never-ending chaos of chatter, car horns, roaring engines and walking feet that even the Big Apple can’t claim.

The first thing I noticed when I got off the plane at Tokyo International was the people. There were people everywhere. Faces were everywhere; talking, walking, eating, or reading with that quiet intensity the Japanese have. It never stopped, either. For the entire two weeks we were there all I seemed to see were Japanese faces. The Riigupuro Nippon (Japan Pro League) provided us interpreters and it was terrific fun to learn about Japanese culture, tradition and history.

The exhibition was to be a series of six games from Kobe to Tokyo versus several ichi-nen (rookie) teams from the Riigupuro Nippon system. We weren’t going to play any RPN veterans. Our manager was Washington’s Clint Schafer, a good guy and a good baseball man who fulfilled Doc Caswell’s prophecy and led Washington to the CBA title that year. He was an aggressive manager, much like many young Japanese managers. Other members of the team included Carlos Cabrera, Londell Dickenson, Tom Frisch, Justin Hughes, Craig Whitman, KC’s own wonder boy Scott Haslam (who cleaned up his act after a blowout with his father), UL Rookie of the Year Walt Redrick and a phenomenal second baseman from Boston named Theron Richards.

We stayed at the Tokyo Garden Hotel in the vast heart of downtown. The Japanese have a marvelous way of integrating Nature into everything they do. Even among the giant skyscrapers there were small pockets of green, little gardens of blossoming trees, colorful flowers and graceful paths, growing resolutely in the shade of the man-made mesas surrounding them.

The mood was light and relaxed in the beginning. Schafer brought his family along, so we all decided to treat it like a vacation, too. This was to be an ambassadorial venture, not a test of which league produced better rookies. At least, that’s what we were told. So at first we all tried to have a good time.

We were to have one practice and then it was six games in nine days. The trip was also filled with personal appearances, autograph signing sessions, skills clinics for kids and meetings with public figures. Our itinerary didn’t leave much time for goofing off. Besides, one of our nine translators (college kids studying English, mostly) would attach themselves to us if we even looked like we were going anywhere. They were our communicators and, it appeared, our chaperones. If we were going to go out on the town we were going to have to work for it.

I was terribly jet lagged by the flight over. I was lying on my hotel bed, too tired to unpack (you can have someone do it for you if you want – but I felt a little weird having someone unpack my stuff for me). Theron Richards walked through the open door and announced we were going out.
“I want to sleep.”
“Come on. This is Tokyo, bro,” he said. “There are five million young Japanese women in this city just waiting to be Americanized.”
“Do it yourself. I’m too tired. I didn’t sleep on the plane.”
“So you’re going to sleep now? What are you going to do when you’re wide awake at four in the morning?”
“What everyone else does; have breakfast.”
“Come on, Dave. This may be the only six hours we get to ourselves this whole trip.”
“Dude, I’m exhausted. How could you sleep on that plane?”
“I dreamed about creamy Japanese thighs. Now get up. If you’re not going you can at least help me get outta here without one of these liaison mother****ers on my back. I have a plan.”
“All right,” I said. “If it’ll get you out of my hair I’ll do it.”
Stupid, stupid, stupid. Never trust Theron Richards when he says he has a plan.

Sure enough, when we came out of my room six of our nine translators were standing by the elevator like sentinels. “We’re going to tell them we want to see one of their little gardens,” he whispered.
“Shizukan,” I said.
He looked blankly at me for a moment. “Whatever, Jackie Chan. Then we’re going to pile in a cab. You’re going to distract him and I’m going to jump out when the cab pulls away and make a break for it. Got it?”
“Whatever, Pierce Brosnan.”

So everything works just fine. I get in the cab with Hoshi, our translator. Richards gets in next to me and off we go. After about forty feet I turn to him and say, “Aren’t you going to jump out and make a break for it?”
He just grinned and stared at me bug-eyed like a crazy man. “Nope.”
“****,” I said, realizing I was trapped.
“Relax and enjoy the ride, Dave,” said Richards, already scoping the sidewalks for girls.
I turned to Hoshi. “Did you bring your galoshes?”
Hoshi struggled to pronounce it. “Galoshes?”
“Yeah. The ****’s going to get thick tonight and we’re going to be in the middle of it.”
“**** thick?”
“Yeah, **** thick. **** mucho thick.”

The details of that evening shall go unreported. Should Japanese authorities ever find out what we did I may be extradited and serve hard time. I’m exaggerating, of course, but we did have a good time, at least what I remember of it. All I know is, I awoke in my hotel bed at six-thirty in the morning. I was fully clothed. The morning sun sent fingers of yellow light into my room. I felt like a wrung out rag. A groggy kind of terror seeped into my brain as I realized I couldn’t move my legs. I managed to lift my head and I saw Hoshi lying across me on his stomach. His glasses were gone, as were his shirt and shoes. He had streaks of lipstick on his face and glitter in his hair. Cradled in the crook of his arm was an empty bottle. His lips formed the thin squiggle of a smile as he slept.

With some effort I extricated myself and shuffled to the bathroom. Something was wrong with my feet. Looking down, I realized I was wearing one tennis shoe and one dress shoe. Neither was mine. It hurt my head to think about it, so I didn’t.

I turned on the fan light and it was still too bright. There was something foul-smelling in the toilet. I flushed it without looking. Whatever that was, I thought, it’s either dead or it came out of something dead. I turned on the water and splashed some on my face. I had an hour to get ready for a mandatory press breakfast. I looked like hell and my right shoulder hurt. It felt like I ran into a wall with it. Have I been busting down doors?

I showered and shaved. I felt clean, but not better. When I came out Hoshi was gone. He left the bottle and a puddle of spit on my bed as a remembrance. There was a knock on the door. I opened it without peeking through the spy hole. Stupid, stupid, stupid. It was Schaefer. He was not happy. “I want to see the five of you after breakfast, Driscoll.”
“Sure, skip,” I said and closed the door. Five of us?
**** thick. **** mucho thick.

Breakfast was a cacophonous orchestration of clinking glasses, scraping silverware and mastication. Members of the press sat around the room, having breakfast with and interviewing various members of the team. I sat alone at a table sipping grapefruit juice and reading a USA Today. No one joined me, not even the press. This was a bad sign. Schaefer kept looking at me between statements to reporters. Finally, Richards showed up with Hoshi in tow. They sat down across from me.
“Well if it ain’t the legendary Usagi-goro,” said Richards, showing no adverse signs of the previous evenings activities. “What up, Dave?”
“What’s going on?” I demanded. I didn’t know what Usagi-goro meant, but if I did it to a woman I would be in bigger trouble than just embarrassing my profession and country.
“We’re in the ****,” said Richards. He said it like he was asking for the time.
“I know that, numbnuts. Schaefer told me he wanted to see the five of us after breakfast.”
“Yeah? So?”
“So who are the other three?”
“You don’t remember?”
“No.”
He chuckled into his shirt collar. “Oh, man.”
I turned to Hoshi. “What happened?”
“We had American good time.”
“I know that. I saw the bottle.”
“That was gift from Miss Kadeshii.”
“Who is Miss Kadashii?”
“She was hostess.”
“Hostess? Hostess?” Now I was worried. “I know what hostess means, Hoshi. What the hell did we do last night?”
“Nothing, man, nothing. It’s okay,” said Richards. “We went out, had a little fun, exchanged shoes with total strangers and came home. That’s it.”
“No fights, no hookers, no illegal activity?”
“No, no, and no. Except for Hoshi.”
“What did Hoshi do?”
“He was the benefactor of the evening’s suki.”
“Suki baijin,” added Hoshi with an earnest smile.
“You be quiet,” I said to him. “I’ve been here a day and I’m already in trouble.” He lowered his eyes. “I don’t even know what suki baijin means and I don’t like it.”
“It means beautiful affectionate women.”
I nodded in understanding. “Hookers,” I said with the conviction of the damned. “We bought him hookers.”
“No, man. They weren’t hookers, they were hostesses. Do you know what irezumi is?”
“No? Did they do that to him?”
“No. Somebody did it to us.” Richards pulled back the sleeve of his shirt to reveal a patch of white gauze taped to his bicep. He peeled it away. Around his arm was a tattoo of a lightning bolt.
Tell me you got that before we came here, I thought.
“It’s a symbol for hayai-iku. “Lightning speed”. It’s me, man. Flash Richards. These Japanese have done their homework. They know all about our nicknames and everything. When we went to the tattoo parlor, we --.”
“I don’t remember any tattoo parlor.”
“Jesus, Dave, what’s the point of us getting tattoos and belly shots and lap dances if you’re not going to remember them?”
Then Hoshi rolled up his sleeve. His tattoo was some kind of robot boy.
“So you went out, got drunk and got tattoos,” I said. “That’s really smart. Now the evidence that you went out without permission is etched right into your skin. That’s really stupid, man.”
Richards only gestured to my arm, the one that was sore. I rolled up my right sleeve and there it was; a tattoo of a long-eared rabbit with a ball cap and glove bending down to field a grounder.
“What the **** is this?”
“That’s you, my brother. The Japanese don’t have a word for Short Hop, so they came as close as they could. It’s what they call you over here.”
Dreading the answer, I asked, “And what do they call me, exactly?”
“Usagi-goro,” replied Richards. “Ground Ball Rabbit.”

Saturday: Part Two

[Jazzmosis]

Wow.. I love this chapter! "Ground ball rabbit"... hilarious!

This had me laughing for alot of it.. good work! Looking forward to the next part...

[jaxmagicman]

Very Funny Chapter.

[The Funk]

Damn, how is it possible that this story gets better and better? This chapter was freakin' hilarious, was that real Japanese (I'm guessing so) and where did you pick it up?

[WWBL Commissioner]

Tib, once again great work. So what do we gotta say to get you to crank out 2 chapters a week instead of one Just kidding, you take your time and keep up the great work. I look forward get ordering my printed copy someday

[Ford Prefect]

cant wait to learn who are the other two

[Tib]

Originally Posted by The Funk

was that real Japanese (I'm guessing so) and where did you pick it up?

Yes, it's real Japanese, although I may have used it incorrectly. I found this during my research: http://www.geocities.com/malla_tobuc...nese_List.html and this: http://www2.gol.com/users/jallen/jimball.html and they helped a lot. Some of the Japanese terms in the chapter are guesses or combinations of roots from the list.

Originally Posted by WWBLCommissioner

So what do we gotta say to get you to crank out 2 chapters a week instead of one

"We'll guarantee you $55,000 a year" would be a good start.

[Skywalker76]

The past two chapters were excellent Tib. Great Work.

[Tib]

Hello and welcome to the official Short Hop thread, the only place to get official Short Hop information and chapter postings. Today is part two of Chapter 26.

It occurred to me that I was leaving out several important bits of information about Dave's first season in the Bigs, so rather than just post them outright, I decided to sneak them in over the course of the next two chapters. Dave numbers, his ranking among league shortstops and his finish in the ROY balloting will be revealed. Also, using the league HTML function in Bbay I will bring you up to date on the careers of some of Dave's former teammates, including Lino Lopez.

It's funny, the season goes fast when I'm writing about his career and the team's progress, but slow when I'm writing his personal story. Sort of like Life: work is easy, it's living that's hard.

Enjoy part two and I'll see you next week with Chapter 27.

[Tib]

The Gurabunai of Usagi-goro, Part Two

Schafer was more disappointed than upset. As I sat there at the table in the middle of the conference room, I looked around at Richards, Londell Dickenson, Scott Haslam, and Mike Tadashi. I couldn’t tell if they were truly sorry or just hung over. Schafer said no one recognized us as part of the American All-Rookie team, but it didn’t matter. He talked about pride in our profession and pride in ourselves as Americans and as representatives of our country. We are guests here, he said. Japan was not our personal playground. He was right.
“I’m especially disappointed in you, Mike,” he said.
“Why me?” said Tadashi.
“As a player of Japanese descent, I thought you would show more respect.”
“But I’m from Denver,” pleaded Mike.

For myself, I was embarrassed by my behavior. I made a silent vow never to drink in public when I was representing my team, my country or myself as a professional ballplayer.

And then it was over. Except for the jibes of my teammates and our new status as the Party of Five, everything went back to normal. The press graciously left us alone about the drinking. We did pose for a picture with our tattoos exposed. Our CBA liaisons turned it into a nice story about us wanting to commemorate our visit by partaking in the Japanese art of ikezumi. That afternoon we had a good practice and the next day we started our exhibition schedule against a team of first year minor leaguers.

From: Dave Driscoll (ddriscoll@CBPA.org)
Sent: February 9, 2007 9:13PM
To: Don Driscoll (dondriscoll@familynet.com)
Subject:

Dear Dad,
Greetings from the Land of the Rising Sun! Japan is phenomenal! I’m loving it here. I could definitely see myself coming back for vacations. There’s so much to see and learn I’ll never even scratch the surface on this trip. We’ve been so busy since we got here I haven’t had time to write. We finally got a break with a day game today. That and I’m kind of under house arrest. Me and a few of the guys are in Schafer’s dog house so we aren’t allowed to leave the hotel unless one of the CBA liaisons is with us. Tell you about that later. Anyway, the way I’ve been playing, he can’t keep me locked up forever.

The opening game of the series was against an ichi-nen team – that’s first year players: rookies – from one of the RPN minor leagues. They were pretty good, too, but we were too much for them. Cole Kraft struck out 10 in 6 innings and Richards and I came in as subs in the seventh for Walt Redrick and Aaron Sawyer. I went 2 for 2, stole a base, and turned two DPs with Richards. We won 10-3.

Wally figures to get all the starts because he was Rookie of the Year. I have no problem with that. If I had the highest rookie batting average in the history of the CBA, I’d deserve to start, too. I’ll tell you, though, I’m swinging the bat so well I wouldn’t be surprised if I hit .354 myself next year. Wally’s a good guy. A little tightly-strung, but I can understand that. He has a lot more pressure on him than I do.

Our game today was against a rookie team from the Ninteru League. This game was not so easy. It was like they considered it their duty to avenge the loss the day before. They told us this was an exhibition series, but today was no exhibition – it was for real. Richards and I turned two more DPs. God, I wish I was playing with him every day.

I made a couple of nice plays. In the 4th we were up 2-1 and I made a nice snag on a ball that hit a seam in the carpet. I really just got my face out of the way and stuck my glove up, but it looked good on the replay. Some of the crowd started chanting “Usagi-goro, usagi-goro”, which is “Short Hop” in Japanese. It’s not an exact translation, but close enough, I guess. In the 8th we were up 4-3 when one of their star players, a guy named Ataka, hit a ball to my left and I knocked it down behind second and threw him out from short center. Then from the right field line Ataka bowed to me, which I guess is a big show of respect. I wasn’t sure what to do, and then I heard our translator Hoshi yelling at me from our dugout, “Bow to him! Bow to him!”, so I did. We exchanged jerseys after the game. His family is all local magistrates. He’s the first man in his family not to be a public official. Nice guy. We won 5-3 when Lonnie Dickenson hit a 470 foot homu-ran off of their closer. What a shot! It landed in the upper deck in right field.

That’s it so far. I’ll send you more updates and a few newspaper articles later this week. Tomorrow we play the Kokoro league all-stars.

Dave (Day-bu)



From: Dave Driscoll (ddriscoll@CBPA.org)
Sent: February 15, 2007 8:48AM
To: Don Driscoll (dondriscoll@familynet.com)
Subject:

Dear Otou-san,

Greetings from Japan! Well, it’s all over and we’re flying out later today. After four games away from this amazing city, we came back to Tokyo. I got out of the doghouse, too, by the way.

What a series of games we’ve had! The exhibition part of this trip went right out the window after our third game. We played games 3 and 4 in a stadium with a dirt infield. No infield grass at all. It looked like one of Jan’s softball fields. Games 5 and 6 were in the fantastic Nippon Dome.

The teams we played were very good. The Kokoro League players beat us 6-2. They had some huge pitcher who struck out 11 of us. I struck out once myself, then tried to bunt my way on, but these Japanese teams are so used to defending the bunt I didn’t have a chance. Their centerfielder hit a three run homerun in the eighth and that was it for us.

I made another good play, though. They had a guy on third with two outs. I was shading to my right because the batter had me thinking he was going to pull. There was a high chopper over Jim Middleton’s head. I got to it behind the bag and I just knew I didn’t have a play at first. I threw the runner out at home. The fans were chanting “gu-ra-bu-nai, gu-ra-bu-nai” as I ran into our dugout.

Game 4 was against Sotsugyou-Riigu, a kind of “advanced player” league for high draft picks. We went 12 innings with them and we were still tied 7-7. In Japan, games are ended after 12 innings, but they decided to play American Rules in this one, so we kept going. In the 15th (I had been playing short since the 9th) they had runners on second and third with one out. We were playing in to cut off the winning run. I knew to expect the bunt and sure enough, here it came. I charged in. The batter, Tomuchi, decided to play American Rules, too, and brought the bat back and swung. Jesus, Dad, Middleton and I nearly crapped our pants! I lunged to my left and nabbed it on a bounce off the dirt, then backhand-flicked it to Alfredo Viola at the plate. The crowd started chanting “gu-ra-bu-nai” again. I figured it was another nickname I was going to be given.

We won the game 8-7 in the 16th when Lonnie hit another clutch homer and Oscar Guardado held on for the save.

Game 5 we lost 9-6. Richards stole third twice in that one. In Game 6 I finally got the start when Walt came up a little lame during infield drills. We won 6-2. I had two hits, one a bunt single! But the best parts were picking a runner off second and starting double plays at second, third and home, all in one game!

Remember “gurabunai”? I found out what it means. “Dangerous glove”. That’s what the fans were chanting all that time. It was sort of their way to acknowledge a good defensive play. Cool, huh?

Anyway, I should be back in the states in about 16 hours. We have to stop in Germany, then it’s on to New York. I can’t believe I have to report to training camp in two weeks! The new season is upon me already! I can’t wait.

Did you get the package I sent? Call me at home and leave a message that you did. Hoshi told me he could replace any broken statues, damaged pictures, or –*cough, cough* -- broken bottles (wink, wink). I haven’t tasted it myself, at least not that I can remember, but it put a smile on Hoshi’s face.

Sayonara!

Day-bu

Next week: Chapter 27: Georgia Asphalt

[Jazzmosis]

Wow. Just... wow.

[Faroo6]

amazing, just amazing

well done Tib

[Emmaculate]

Wow.


What a read.

Add me to your list of devoted readers, who will wait patiently until Saturday to read another glorious edition of the Short Hop story.

I look forward to purchasing the book.

[UngratefulDead]

Great stuff, as always.

[The Funk]

^^^^ What he said.

I really like the letter-based chapter, nice change of pace and a great way to mix things up.

[WWBL Commissioner]

Another great chapter, looking forward to next weekend

[MattH3322]

Great read. I found this last week and have been reading off and on for the past week. If this was a book I would pay full price for it.

The last Chapter (part 2) has made me a little nervous. I am kind of worried why Dave's dad did not reply to his email. I would think that is something that his dad would have replied to. Maybe it is just me.

[AdmiralACF]

Awesome, awesome job! For a while I got very busy and couldn't keep up with your posts, but I just recently got myself reading again and let me say it's been so nice being able to whip through the chapters without the bothersome week-long wait. Sadly, now I'm back to waiting with the rest of you for the new chapters to come out.

Anyway, I hoped that I might be able to add a couple comments about my impressions on the most recent chapters. I have just two notes to make, both coming from Chapter 25.

The first is a minor correction that I think would fix a mistake so that it reads like you intended. In the conversation between Dave and Gwen, you wrote:

Originally Posted by Tib

"Even if I’m in Little Rock and you’re in Kansas
City?"
"Even if I’m in Japan and you’re in Kansas City."

I think this should be either:
"'Even if I’m in Little Rock and you’re in Kansas
City?'
'Even if I’m in Japan and you’re in Little Rock.'"

Or possibly:
"'Even if I’m in Little Rock and you’re in Kansas
City?'
'Even if you're in Little Rock and I'm in Japan.'"

My second suggestion deals with the same conversation, specifically this:

Originally Posted by Tib

Now I know that was corny and I know it has very little to do with baseball in general, but it happened and it turned out to be a very important conversation in my life.

I think you should just take this whole paragraph out. It doesn't seem to fit with the story or your style. Yeah, maybe it was a little corny, but I don't think that Dave would apologize for including it in his memoirs if he thought it was important. It seems like it's a footnote, like something you would add in a post outside of the story to apologize for something you didn't really like about the chapter. I think the inclusion of the conversation is very relevant and adds a lot to the development of the two characters, so there's no need for this last paragraph, which seems to throw off both the mood of the scene and the flow of the chapter.

Those are just my suggestions. Take them as you will. And let me just say again, keep up the great work. I'll certainly pick up my copy if, no, when you get it published, if only to see what kind of transformations the story takes from first draft to final copy.