Thriftlon Reports

[Syd Thrift]

Alright, so I have a really bad habit of starting these things and never coming back from them. This time around, though, I think things will be different. I've already run 6 years of computer-generated history and took control of every team as GM this past season, so if nothing else I am very familiar with who's who. Like the Athlon Guide or Bill Mazeroski's Baseball, I'm going to look at every team in the league and discuss their strengths, weaknesses, and goings-on.

The league started in 1892 and is now facing 1899. There are 12 teams, divided into 2 6-team leagues, the National League and the American Association. I'm going to try and more or less follow history. I say more or less because I know straight out that I'm probably not going to contract to 8 teams in 1900 and, when the AL replaces the AA in 1901, there's an equally good chance one or more of the contracted Big League teams will jump to the "new" league instead. Also, there's one level of minors and no other leagues. I'm using the KISS method here; anyway, full scouting and coaching are enough for me.

So without further adieu....

League Overview

It was a year that combined the old with the new to create an exciting season into September. In the NL, the Washington Senators jumped out early behind a young and balanced attack, but faded down the stretch as the New York Giants won their 4th consecutive pennant and 5th overall. In the Association, the Reds broke the Chicago Colts' hold, running away with the league and the Temple Cup as well in 6 games.

National League
Team			W	L	PCT	GB	Pyt.Rec	Diff	Home	Away	XInn	1Run	M#	Streak	Last10
New York Giants		93	61	.604	-	86-68	7	47-30	46-31	12-6	29-18	Clinched	L1	4-6
Philadelphia Phillies	90	64	.584	3.0	93-61	-3	50-27	40-37	9-7	24-18		W10	10-0
Washington Nationals	85	69	.552	8.0	82-72	3	40-37	45-32	6-8	28-25		L3	5-5
Boston Beaneaters	73	81	.474	20.0	75-79	-2	42-35	31-46	5-9	15-24		W1	4-6
Baltimore Orioles	69	85	.448	24.0	73-81	-4	31-46	38-39	8-6	17-21		W2	5-5
Brooklyn Superbas	52	102	.338	41.0	55-99	-3	26-51	26-51	5-9	20-27		L2	2-8

American Association
Team			W	L	PCT	GB	Pyt.Rec	Diff	Home	Away	XInn	1Run	M#	Streak	Last10
Cincinnati Reds		105	49	.682	-	99-55	6	56-21	49-28	6-3	28-14	Clinched	W2	6-4
Saint Louis Browns	89	65	.578	16.0	85-69	4	46-31	43-34	8-5	24-16		W1	7-3
Chicago Colts		79	75	.513	26.0	82-72	-3	32-45	47-30	5-2	18-20		L1	4-6
Cleveland Spiders	71	83	.461	34.0	68-86	3	40-37	31-46	6-7	23-24		W1	5-5
Louisville Colonels	66	88	.429	39.0	71-83	-5	36-41	30-47	5-9	19-26		L2	4-6
Pittsburgh Pirates	52	102	.338	53.0	56-98	-4	29-48	23-54	5-9	17-29		L1	4-6

[Syd Thrift]

Overview: It was a rough season for the Bucs, but frankly they should be used to it by now. They lost 100 games for the second consecutive year and have yet to finish out of the second division of the American Association. Ah well; every league needs its bottom feeder. There were several youngsters who showed some promise on this team, though. Perhaps Pirates fans can expect a better future?

Pitching

Player			Age	W	L	G	GS	SV	IP	H	ER	HR	BB	SO	ERA	VORP
#Jorge Clemente		27	15	23	39	39	0	318.2	302	105	7	134	74	2.97	45.8
Chris Tippett		30	13	19	41	41	0	295.1	343	148	13	105	68	4.51	-10.4
*Kerry Osbaldeston	25	6	23	37	34	0	251.1	276	120	5	98	67	4.30	-2.6
#Todd Warwick		29	6	17	38	22	1	208.2	228	109	4	88	47	4.70	-12.0
Brad Leach		27	6	9	74	0	9	150.0	173	53	1	47	54	3.18	17.6
Ted McQueil		27	2	6	8	8	0	71.0	86	34	2	24	15	4.31	-0.9
Samuel Ouellette	22	3	5	10	10	0	63.1	92	34	2	32	19	4.83	-4.6
*Teh-huai Wang		23	1	0	3	0	2	3.2	5	2	1	1	2	4.91	-0.3

Some very rough years by Kerry Obaldeston and Todd Warwick obscured what was actually a pretty decent year for Jorge Clemente. The swarthy Chilean was finally given a full-time shot at a pitching gig and made the most of it. He'll be back for 1899 and that's really the most that can be said about the rotation; look for open competition in spring training for the other two slots. Brad Leach did an excellent job as the Pirates' bullpen ace, which probably makes him trade bait; a team this bad needs prospects a lot more than it needs a solid bullpen.

Catcher and First Base

Pos	Player			Age	G	AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI	SB	AVG	VORP
C	Keith Bissell		30	83	284	20	45	4	3	2	20	0	.158	-17.0
C	Alfred Eberhart		25	106	217	24	50	4	0	0	29	0	.230	-3.1
C	Mark Miller		24	56	142	22	48	5	1	0	17	0	.338	11.0
1B	Mark Lucott		25	154	656	73	178	19	6	5	96	1	.271	5.7

Mark Miller looks as though he saved the day behind the plate for this team. Prior to his late-season call-up, Keith Bissell was on pace to having the worst offensive season of all time at any position. As it stands, his half-season of 284 ABs and a .158 average is right up there. Alfred Eberhart wasn't better, although he at least cracked the Mendoza Line or whatever you would call the line in 1898. Perhaps we should call it the Bissell line.

Mark Lucott set a career high in games played, but that was about it. It was a tremendously vanilla season for the former 2-time AAA All-Star. Still only 25, the Pirates hope he'll rebound because they don't have a lot else to play at the position.

Infield

Pos	Player			Age	G	AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI	SB	AVG	VORP
2B	Chris Fortescue		29	118	453	73	117	16	12	1	25	50	.258	8.2
2B	Cooper Chamings		32	25	65	12	25	6	4	0	10	5	.385	11.6
3B	Ty Graham		26	138	565	70	154	26	5	1	68	8	.273	15.8
3B	George Theodore		21	60	196	24	51	5	3	1	17	0	.260	3.3
3B	Terry Dugan		26	124	162	22	33	7	1	0	18	1	.204	-1.8
SS	Corbin Gauthier		29	68	251	29	51	10	1	0	20	1	.203	-10.0
SS	Pete Bastable		30	32	103	15	28	3	1	0	13	1	.272	0.9

It's saying something about this team that their 2nd leading infielder in VORP was a backup 2B/SS who was released in midseason as the team elected to evaluate its youth (don't fret for Cooper Chamings; he caught on with the Colts later in the year). Chris Fortescue actually had a pretty okay year in deadball terms, counteracting a relative lack of contact hitting with good gap power, speed, and defense. The VORP might be a bit misleading here.

Ty Graham's listed as the starting 3rd baseman, but in truth he moved to shortstop when hot young phenom George Theodore was called up. Theodore wasn't much, but he sure outhit the man he more or less replaced, Corbin Gauthier. Gauthier had been a career backup second baseman for the Washington Nationals who was pushed into a starting job by the hapless Pirates. His failure to produce should not come as a shock to anyone.

Outfielders

Pos	Player			Age	G	AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI	SB	AVG	VORP
LF	Chris O'Hanlon		27	121	366	42	99	14	5	0	42	1	.270	7.6
LF	Gianluca Pezzo		20	48	156	20	45	4	2	0	12	4	.288	6.2
LF	Waldo Doll		29	52	130	16	29	3	2	0	18	5	.223	-1.8
LF	Bob Caldecott		41	17	44	4	14	0	0	0	1	2	.318	2.2
LF	Bill McDowie		25	18	9	0	1	0	0	0	1	0	.111	-1.2
LF	Shaw Carleton		27	12	9	0	3	1	0	0	2	0	.333	0.6
CF	Hollis Arnold		26	145	502	86	142	23	8	5	50	5	.283	29.8
CF	Johnston Long		20	63	193	25	58	5	0	2	24	12	.301	10.9
CF	Shane Rathmell		23	70	78	9	21	2	1	0	10	0	.269	0.1
RF	John Bebbington		34	118	388	63	101	8	4	1	27	29	.269	7.9

Two-thirds of the outfield looks like it's pretty set. Team MVP Hollis Arnold, a potato farmer during the offseason, will definitely return for a full season of play, whether it's in his customary center field or in one of the corner positions. Johnston Long surprised everyone with a .301 average in around a third of the season; he'll definitely be starting as well. The final position will probably go down to a spring training battle between John Bebbington, the longtime Pirates starter and fan favorite who has never done a whole lot to earn his starting slot, and Chris O'Hanlon, who acquitted himself fairly well in his first real shot at a starting gig.

[Syd Thrift]

Overview: It didn't look like it was going to be such a bad year for the denizens of Flatbush. As late as June 1, they had a 26-39 record - granted, not very good, but when you as a team go 26-64 the rest of the way, it looks a lot better. The Superbas combined a punchless offensive attack with horrendous pitching to make a wonderful ****tail of badness.

Pitching

Chris Langdon CL	2	5	3	2.10	18	5	55.2	58	28	13	2	24	8
Conway Shelvin CL	0	2	2	3.12	12	0	17.1	19	7	6	1	4	7
Tommy Wace SP		16	21	0	3.20	45	38	331.2	356	194	118	3	77	84
David Pininferino CL	12	12	0	3.90	25	25	203.1	212	116	88	1	59	88
Brent Poldermans SP	2	6	0	4.42	14	14	95.2	112	78	47	3	35	32
Paul Cossart SP		7	12	0	4.87	20	20	168.1	174	124	91	7	92	26
Carthage Nurse SP	10	14	0	5.10	29	29	203.0	221	153	115	8	123	35
Layton Walls SP		0	6	0	5.58	6	6	40.1	43	37	25	2	33	9
Lucien Vivarini SP	0	7	0	6.39	7	7	49.1	59	55	35	1	31	4
Jake Visser CL		1	5	3	6.82	31	0	62.0	94	52	47	0	27	16
Jeremy Winkley MR	1	4	1	7.23	32	0	61.0	82	54	49	4	43	5
Woody Tatum SP		1	8	0	7.61	10	10	73.1	98	86	62	2	57	14

The Superbas used everyone but the kitchen sink last year, and the results looked a lot like your kitchen sink looks after a raucous night of gumbo and fruit punch. Tommy Wace did emerge as the staff ace in his second full season in the major leagues. Waiver wire pickup Brent Poldermans showed that he may still have a little left in the tank. The Superbas are not picky. And Carthag Nurse did break double-digits in wins. That's about all the good things that can be said about this staff, and this publication likes to follow the Golden Rule.

Catcher and First Base

Pos	Player			Age	G	AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI	SB	AVG	VORP
C	Dylan Nelson		28	125	526	73	169	23	8	6	66	2	.321	29.3
C	Garrett Olson		29	32	100	14	21	2	1	0	9	0	.210	-4.9
1B	Tom Cruse		23	86	343	42	97	13	3	4	35	0	.283	4.6
1B	Geoffrey Sloss		28	104	307	37	79	8	4	1	35	0	.257	-4.4
1B	Charlie Quartermain	30	47	41	4	8	2	0	0	5	1	.195	-1.3

Dylan Nelson was the team's MVP last year. His backup Garrett Olson provided nothing but a good arm, but catcher was not part of the problem in 1898. First base was part of the problem. Tom Cruse took over for a slumping Geoffrey Sloss in midseason and was above replacement level, at least. The same cannot be said for Sloss, who dropped almost 80 points of batting average from the year before. Cruse credits much of his success to his "scientological" approach to hitting; perhaps he can teach Sloss some of his ways.

Infield

Pos	Player			Age	G	AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI	SB	AVG	VORP
2B	Harvey Bulkley		25	119	348	56	74	7	4	2	47	6	.213	-10.1
2B	Frank Raines		21	27	91	11	27	1	1	0	11	1	.297	2.0
2B	Easton Pinhay		31	37	46	1	6	1	0	0	8	0	.130	-5.7
3B	Sean Snidow		32	143	436	50	113	11	5	4	36	7	.259	1.5
3B	Fred Rutherford		22	121	230	37	51	5	4	1	21	0	.222	-7.6
SS	Devlin Shaner		21	132	520	79	164	17	13	1	70	17	.315	21.8
SS	Terry Kernodles		33	105	177	17	36	1	1	0	21	5	.203	-8.5

As one can see, the infield was just a big mess all season long outside of rookie Devlin Shaner, one of only 3 hitters on the team to achieve double-digit VORPs (not including negative double digits!). Both second and third were revolving doors all season, with Opening Day starters Harvey Bulkley and youngster Fred Rutherford giving way to longtime Brooklyn vets Sean Snidow and Terry Kernodles and prospect Fred Raines. What the infield will look like come the 25th of April 1899 is anybody's guess.

Outfield

Pos	Player			Age	G	AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI	SB	AVG	VORP
LF	Valentin LochiLosurdo	30	145	601	76	161	16	4	0	60	2	.268	0.7
CF	Chris Scholey		26	91	366	49	115	14	2	1	52	6	.314	12.7
CF	Fritz Emery		31	62	203	37	61	2	1	0	14	23	.300	2.1
CF	Dave Blair		26	62	119	16	26	5	3	0	16	6	.218	-3.7
RF	Nari Miniato		32	100	337	46	78	15	5	1	30	13	.231	-5.1
RF	Tim Worsley		31	55	156	22	34	3	1	1	16	3	.218	-4.9
RF	Bill Ruffner		28	52	78	11	24	1	2	0	8	5	.308	2.9

The outfield, most of it anyway, was actually not so bad when it was able to play together. Valentin LochiLosurdo was a mild disappointment after coming over from the Cleveland Spiders in the offseason. However, his durability was exactly what this team needed. Chris Scholey was fantastic when he was healthy enough to get his bat in the lineup, but he ended up missing a good third of the season with assorted injuries. His replacements were less than stellar. In right, it seemed at times to be a battle of who could care less. Nari Miniato and Tim Worsley have split duties out there for the entirety of the team's existence. That run could be at an end next year. Among other things, Brooklyn is considering moving Geoffrey Sloss into the outfield if Tom Cruse can continue to hold first.

[Syd Thrift]

Overview: When the Colonels started the season 12-25 with flagging attendance, the front office made the command decision to sell off some of their higher priced wares and look to the future. Truth be told, the future does not look particularly bright for major league baseball in Kentucky; even in their good years, the Colonels struggled to make a profit, and now that they're solidly in the second division their ballfield often has more empty than filled seats. Whatever happens to this town, though, hardcore fans will always remember the magical 1892 season and the pennant in 1894.

Name			Age	W	L	SV	ERA	G	GS	IP	HAGG	ER	HR	BB	K	VORP
Jim Badgett		32	9	24	1	4.25	51	32	288.1	349	136	5	131	49	3.9
Harry Herapath		24	15	8	0	3.14	36	36	234.2	220	82	6	77	62	33.1
Kelan Quarton		23	4	16	4	3.97	52	21	217.2	217	96	3	91	45	10.5
Jeremy McKinney		30	13	9	0	3.08	25	25	189.2	193	65	2	60	27	27.9
Andy O'Kenny		30	7	11	2	4.64	39	16	151.1	174	78	3	63	36	-5.3
Glenn Spiller		28	7	6	0	1.71	15	14	115.2	120	22	1	24	41	33.4
Matt Vice		31	5	10	5	3.76	52	0	83.2	102	35	1	19	25	6.0
Berto Sarrie		26	0	2	1	4.31	10	10	79.1	87	38	0	42	24	0.7
Bob Earles		26	0	2	1	6.75	4	0	2.2	6	2	0	0	1	-0.7

After trading Glenn Spiller, free agent acquisition Harry Herapeth became their most effective and most eccentric pitcher. He was good for barely 6 innings a start, a league low for any qualifying pitcher, but got the job done in the time he did pitch well enough to merit an All-Star appearance. While the Colonlels have to be happy with what they got out of him, one can't help but think that the best place for someone with Herapeth's unique talents is in the "bull pen". Of all their other pitchers, only Jeremy McKinney managed a winning record. Jim Badgett, the crafty vet who is 2nd all-time in Louisville victories, suffered an especially excruciating season. Overall, only the Pirates gave up more runs in the Association.

Catcher and First Base

Pos	Player			Age	G	AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI	SB	AVG	VORP
C	Jay Hoskinson		29	127	514	7	149	25	9	3	65	2	.272	19.3
C	Joey Tadlock		24	42	120	17	30	7	2	0	24	0	.250	0.8
1B	Caomhin Wellsteed	23	84	329	54	107	12	6	2	40	0	.325	16.3
1B	Loman Trane		39	104	353	45	88	8	6	3	40	1	.249	-2.6
1B	Jeremy Llewellyn	22	11	18	1	4	1	0	0	3	0	.222	-0.9
1B	Brendon Harrison	25	7	0	1	0	0	0	0	0	0	--	-0.0

Jay Hoskinson put together a solid, workmanlike season for the Colonels. He's been the team's starting catcher since the creation of the Big League and is showing no signs of slowing down. At first base, Louisville was without the services of reigning AA MVP Matt Barlow for the first half of the season and ended up trading him to the Washington Nationals for youngster Caominh Wellsteed, who proceeded to hit in a manner that suggests the city may forget about their old superstar very quickly. Over the first half of the season, stalwart Loman Trane tried his hardest to man the first sack with less than stellar results. If he returns for 1899, it will be because the Colonels desire hsi veteran presence in the clubhouse, not out of any expectation he'll return to the form that saw him make the All-Star Game 4 of his first 6 years in the bigs.

Infield

Pos	Player			Age	G	AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI	SB	AVG	VORP
2B	Wyatt Marshall		26	101	377	55	101	14	12	2	55	22	.268	18.1
2B	Pearce Fullbrook	30	45	182	29	64	14	7	0	25	2	.352	17.1
3B	Jerry Oliver		28	145	512	72	146	26	6	3	84	3	.284	22.5
SS	Fergus McKnight		23	142	491	77	154	22	6	2	63	3	.314	24.0
SS	Norman Dobbins		21	52	121	14	37	3	1	0	16	5	.306	2.4
SS	Mitch Beasley		33	55	68	6	17	2	1	0	3	2	.250	-1.9
SS	Tom Scott		27	21	33	3	9	1	0	0	3	1	.273	0.0

It's not so easy to replace a talent like Pearce Fullbrook, who was dished to the New York Giants as part of the team's payroll purge. Wyatt Marshall did the best he could, but expect a battle for the position to rage between him and ace fielder Norman Dobbins throughout spring training. Jerry Oliver and Fergus McKnight both put in very solid seasons in 1898, the former pacing the team in RBIs and the latter winning the American Association Rookie of the Year award. Unlike a lot of youngsters unused to the rigors of daily baseball, Fergus seemed to get better as the year went on. It's a good sign for Louisville, or whoever ends up taking over his contract when he becomes too expensive for the Colonels to keep.

Outfield

Pos	Player			Age	G	AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI	SB	AVG	VORP
LF	Carl Hendron		28	105	449	79	120	14	8	0	35	50	.267	8.6
CF	Dooley Nobles		27	110	305	46	78	5	4	0	26	26	.256	-2.9
CF	Dante Bommarito		30	72	299	47	74	16	7	1	28	20	.247	-1.3
CF	Ron Mure		27	82	203	29	51	4	7	0	24	14	.251	-3.3
CF	Brian Campbell		25	55	93	18	31	1	3	0	8	1	.333	6.2
CF	Kemen Adams		26	76	77	9	14	3	0	0	12	2	.182	-4.1
RF	Garrick MacPhedron	31	131	505	86	135	16	5	3	68	2	.267	13.1

Carl Hendron was acquired from the Cubs to try and bolster a struggling outfield but both he and right fielder Garrick MacPhedron were huge disappointments. Hendron in particular had filled the Colonels with hope, given that he'd hit .373 back in 1896 before missing most of 1897 with an injury. He was hitting .321 with very solid gap power at the time of his trade but hit just .267 the rest of the way. His speed seemed to be the only thing he remembered to bring with him. MacPhedron was even less removed from a .350 season, and although he still managed to lead the team in runs scored, that total led a poor offense. Center field was just a mess and will likely not be completely sorted out by Opening Day.

[Syd Thrift]

Overview: After several years of being the bridesmaid but never the bride, the Orioles' pitching fell apart and the team slid into the second division. Despite GM John McGraw's exhortations, this was a team that's getting old and who doesn't look terribly likely to return to its past glory. Nonetheless, a full season out of catcher Von Craufurd and right fielder Scott Dion and returns to form by Lynch Passager and Dolan Packard could at least pull them back to .500.

Name			Age	W	L	SV	ERA	G	GS	IP	HAGG	ER	HR	BB	K	VORP
Bill Haddon		27	24	24	0	3.13	48	48	422.2	445	147	4	88	217	70.1
Doug Alcester		28	14	21	0	3.89	39	39	312.2	369	135	6	92	81	23.1
Joe McCullogh		33	14	20	0	3.91	38	38	288.0	321	125	10	58	74	20.8
Auliffe Olton		21	5	7	0	4.66	24	14	121.2	161	63	5	48	34	0.7
Rafferty Crosland	25	4	5	5	2.36	34	0	53.1	71	14	1	22	13	13.1
Chris Hurd		24	2	2	0	6.27	8	8	47.1	60	33	4	27	9	-7.8
Neal Waymark		19	3	2	0	5.02	7	7	43.0	35	24	1	38	5	-1.5
Don Cushingham		25	3	1	0	3.79	17	0	38.0	42	16	1	16	20	3.7

The main part of the rotation outside of Bill Haddon was merely ineffective when he wasn't pitching. Joe McCullogh even snagged his very first Gold Glove award. Unfortunately, both Doug Alcester and Joe McCullough also missed about a month apiece with injuries and their replacements were, to put it mildly, awful. Neal Waymark, Auliffe Oulton, and Chris Hurd all showed that they were at least a year away from being major league pitchers. The bull pen was a bit better, but again one wonders: if these folks were so good, why aren't they in the rotation? The best news here is that the poor replacements did not cost the Birds anything in a season that was lost in the early months anyway.

Catcher and First Base

Pos	Player			Age	G	AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI	SB	AVG	VORP
C	Von Craufurd		29	77	288	44	80	13	3	2	36	2	.278	8.1
C	Chad Werrett		23	100	193	33	63	7	1	1	32	1	.326	9.0
C	Lou Mawhinney		27	45	146	13	35	6	2	0	10	0	.240	-0.3
1B	Ken Stumberg		39	123	457	64	127	15	1	1	52	0	.278	-1.0
1B	Maxime Donelli		31	99	172	19	40	4	3	0	30	3	.233	-6.0

Chad Werrett's play during the time reigning 1897 Gold Glove award winner Von Craufurd was out (the entire first half of the season) creates an interesting conundrum for manager John McGraw: who plays in 1899? One option may be to move Werrett, the lest regarded of the two as fielders, to first base, where he can supplant Ken Stumberg. The grizzled vet signed with the O's a month into the season and provided leadership but not a lot in the field. After hitting .324 in part-time work in '97, Maxime Donelli proved very quickly that he could not handle a starting job and may have seen his last days as an Oriole.

Infield

Pos	Player			Age	G	AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI	SB	AVG	VORP
2B	Doug Dubin		31	118	356	55	73	16	7	0	30	30	.205	-12.9
2B	Ed Higson		24	61	193	29	58	5	2	0	24	5	.301	1.6
3B	Dolan Packard		26	139	587	81	168	18	8	1	86	18	.286	9.2
3B	Bob Mullens		34	50	77	9	25	4	0	0	5	3	.325	2.3
SS	Jules Caccio		30	116	325	39	79	5	4	3	31	5	.243	-3.5
SS	Aodhan Wrenn		29	93	263	35	63	13	3	1	30	9	.240	-3.0
SS	Don Croom		26	41	37	4	6	0	0	0	4	1	.162	-3.5
SS	Steve Harlow		19	7	20	2	1	0	0	0	1	0	.050	-3.0

It's hard to believe it now, but at one point in time - Opening Day 1898, to be exact - Doug Dubin actually looked like a fairly decent player. Dubin had come over to Baltimore from across Chesapeake Bay and Washington, DC prior to the '97 season, where he'd won 2 consecutive Gold Gloves and put together decent hitting at least part of the time. Last year he was the classic good-glove no-hit player, only his glove wasn't so hot either. With Ed Higson breaking the .300 mark in average last year, Dubin will be lucky to be wearing the black and orange at all this season.

Dolan Packard's season doesn't look so bad - he did, after all, finish 4th in the NL in RBIs - until you look at his career as a whole. His hits, triples, runs, walks, steals, and batting average were his lowest since 1892, when he played only 120 games. You have to think he's going to rebound some. At short, Jules Caccio slumped as well, but none of his potential replacement demonstrated any ability to play this game, so it's likely he'll get another chance.

Outfield

Pos	Player			Age	G	AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI	SB	AVG	VORP
LF	Casey Labrey		27	142	525	91	134	12	8	2	48	41	.255	1.3
LF	Lucas Bendinelli	30	64	134	17	54	5	3	0	23	3	.403	15.9
LF	Alroy Rain		28	44	63	7	14	2	1	0	13	0	.222	-3.6
CF	Lynch Passager		24	143	585	90	164	19	14	3	78	24	.280	18.1
CF	Vince Findlay		25	16	21	1	3	0	1	0	2	0	.143	-2.3
CF	Doug Stauffer		33	5	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	--	0.0
RF	Scott Dion		37	122	508	101	179	13	5	2	47	49	.352	42.4
RF	John Windham		30	30	86	5	13	1	1	0	5	2	.151	-8.5

For all their other faults, the Orioles fielded a championship caliber outfield in 1898. Casey Labrey's average was down with the rest of the league's but he always seemed to be on the right base at the right time. Lynch Passager continued a torrid start to begin his career. He finished 3rd in the league in triples and 5th in RBI, all while racking up 669 plate appearances and exerting tremendous range in center field. To his right, Scott Dion made the All-Star game for the fourth time in his career. His .360 batting average ranks 3rd all-time (currently, teammate Dolan Packard holds the highest ever at .372) and 6th in hits (again, Packard leads everyone with 1469). One can only wonder what his career would look like had he not already been on the wrong side of 30 when the league began keeping records.

[Syd Thrift]

It has come to my attention that the Thriftlon reports so far are "boring" and "unclever" and "boooring". Okay, well. That's going to change. These Cleveland Spiders, for example, they are EXTREME. They are so EXTREME that from here on out I shall spell EXTREME with only 2 E's. Yes! The Indians are so XTREME that they XCHEW the use of common vowels! To an extent!

Overview: Plagued by off-the-field problems that included a transit strike that targeted owner John Robison, the Cleveland Spiders were contenders, albeit dark horses, as late as the end of July. 48-44 at that time, they finished the year 25-39 and, by October, appeared to have all the scoring ability of an English soccer team. This was on the field, of course. Off the field, you won't find any more XTREME squad than the Spiders. Mountain climbing, monkey rodeo, donkey baseball... you name it, if it's an XTREME sport then the SPIXTREMEDERS will play it! With Robison rumored to be acquiring the St. Louis Browns, the future of the Spiders is unclear. However, the front office insists that they will continue to play all their home games no matter how few cranks show up.

Name			Age	W	L	SV	ERA	G	GS	IP	HAGG	ER	HR	BB	K	VORP
Lou Gazard		28	23	21	0	3.36	46	46	370.0	373	138	3	145	75	42.9
George Duffy		36	15	24	0	3.29	42	41	347.2	370	127	6	92	51	40.3
Larry MacCaa		27	13	18	1	4.68	41	37	276.2	316	144	2	104	65	-10.2
Stephen Vickers		23	4	7	2	2.89	33	9	130.2	139	42	2	43	43	22.1
Frank Pilkington	24	5	4	0	3.89	9	9	71.2	80	31	4	47	11	4.2
Paul Howell		33	5	4	6	2.84	35	0	66.2	67	21	1	15	22	11.7
Donnell Rymour		29	3	3	0	2.62	7	7	58.1	54	17	0	14	21	11.7
Brian Mellen		33	2	2	0	2.65	4	4	34.0	28	10	0	17	9	6.7
Ron Porritt		28	1	0	0	5.40	6	0	8.1	13	5	0	3	1	-1.0
Dave Porter		31	0	0	0	11.25	1	1	4.0	5	5	0	6	2	-3.1

The pitching staff was mature but effective. Unfortunately for the Spiders, "mature" generally also means "expensive", so the chances that any of Gazard, Duffy, or MacCaa still being on the roster at season's end are very small unless the Spiders can find ways to get the fans in past the picket lines. A tunnel and a skybridge were both proferred but struck down due to the fact of the local builders and diggers unions joining in on the work action. Brian Mellen is one guy who could stick around. He'd been released by the lowly Pirates after putting up consecutive records of 2-9, 12-28, and 12-30. Despite that, he looked very solid in four late-season starts.

This seems as good a place as any to note that between starts in 1897, Larry MacCaa invented a new concoction guaranteed to up the XTREME level of any person who imbibes it. It is known to his friends as "Mountainous Dew" because it makes you want to climb rocks and is green in color like a grassy hill. Just before publication, it was pointed out to Mr. MacCaa that a hill is not, technically speaking, a mountain, to which he replied, "an XTREME hill is a mountain! WOO YEAH GOOOOO SPIDERS!!!!!" Then he tied a heavy rubber band to his feet and jumped off of a cliff.

Catcher and First Base

Pos	Player			Age	G	AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI	SB	AVG	VORP
C	Elliott Strong		24	123	301	31	72	9	0	2	40	0	.239	0.5
C	Scott Bedford		29	78	264	29	60	8	3	0	36	0	.227	-5.8
C	Dave Daniel		22	13	40	4	10	3	0	0	8	0	.250	0.8
1B	Ron Eshelman		30	154	584	92	164	22	11	8	78	4	.291	29.4

Ron Eshelman played EVERY SINGLE GAME at first base! That's XTREME baseball playing for you! He led the team in basically every offensive category because that is what XTREME baseball players do. In the offseason, he likes to play dominoes... XTREME dominoes. The dominoes he uses are colored red and Mountainous Dew Green and instead of having pips on their faces they have various makes and models of locomotives. They are crazy! How do they keep score? Nobody but Eshelman knows!

Catcher was mostly blah. Not very... well, you get the picture. Scott Bedford was an okay player a couple years ago, but hasn't been the same since he took a nasty fall playing his preferred sport of competitive ostrich jousting. An ostrich has, among other things, razor-sharp talons that it likes to use to kick fallen jousters. This makes nasty falls even nastier. As a result of his accident, Bedford has an ostrich talon embedded in one of his six "gullets" (Bedford being a former practicioner of XTREME animal parts grafting), which impedes his ability to hit home runs and draw walks. Fortunately, Elliott Strong's chosen extracurricular activity of spiked caber tossing doesn't cause as much injury - at least not to the person throwing the caber. Strong throws the caber.

Infield

Pos	Player			Age	G	AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI	SB	AVG	VORP
2B	Jose Quenones		32	116	436	69	110	12	12	0	49	10	.252	-2.9
2B	John Parris		24	63	126	22	28	7	3	0	17	1	.222	-1.0
2B	Lou Baverstock		26	49	110	10	27	3	0	0	13	4	.245	-2.2
3B	Lawler Gillespie	29	121	442	64	102	15	7	1	42	23	.231	-7.8
3B	Barney Gillen		29	79	122	16	34	5	4	0	17	5	.279	6.8
3B	Cawthra	Pennington	22	31	32	7	10	0	0	1	7	9	.312	4.3
SS	Ken Vine		32	148	602	89	154	12	5	3	72	43	.256	2.8
SS	Rowan Eilers		35	8	1	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	.000	-0.2

The infield was mediocre... XTREMELY mediocre. I'll stop now. Jose Quenones, Lawler Gillespie, and Ken Vine all returned from the year before, and none contributed a whole heck of a lot. Interestingly, they also compete in the National Stagecoach Roadeo, in which they steer their stagecoaches around obstacles, conduct repairs on pre-broken wagon wheels, and fend off pretend bandits for fun and prizes. It's very popular in the West, and Cleveland is one of the foremost Western cities. In future years, it's rumored that the whole thing may be sponsored by Coca-Cola ("Now with more cocaine for your medicinal protection!"). Such are the ways of the future.

Outfield

Pos	Player			Age	G	AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI	SB	AVG	VORP
LF	John Choate		20	69	241	31	78	8	2	0	25	0	.324	12.8
LF	Bob Mathie		31	120	224	40	49	5	8	0	20	22	.219	1.3
LF	Carl Orsi		41	72	176	25	33	4	1	1	20	7	.188	-5.8
CF	Gary O'Larkin		27	145	625	75	172	19	11	0	66	18	.275	7.7
CF	Pedro Silquero		38	13	21	3	7	0	1	0	2	0	.222	1.1
RF	Allen Stallworth	28	110	343	59	96	9	5	0	18	19	.280	11.2
RF	Eddie Hoddell		25	100	211	38	61	5	2	3	32	8	.289	9.2
RF	Dave Hight		41	22	60	7	13	0	0	0	9	2	.217	-1.2
RF	Jeff Denton		30	25	26	3	8	3	1	1	9	0	.308	2.7

Ah, the good old days. Carl Orsi and Dave Hight are both old enough to remember when Being a Disgruntled Office Seeker And Shooting the President In the Back was considered an XTREME sport. It was never the same after its first superstar Charles "Get Off My Lawn" Guiteau was arrested for a rules violation (you aren't actually supposed to kill the President; that went out with John Wilkes "Sic Temper Boo Ya" Booth). Now Orsi and Hight appear to be at the end of their careers as well. Sad in a way. Fortunately, there appears to be a new wave of Presidential assassination team sports led by one Leon Czolgosz. If only he could change his name to something more pronounceable!

Nobody really established themselves as a starter on this team at any of the 3 outfield positions. John Choate looks to be the left fielder of the future, although to his detriment he has not yet discovered an XTREME sport to augment his baseball playing abilities. We suggested a few to him, but his counter-suggestion left us scratching our heads. Milk drinking? That sounds like something the Boston Beaneaters would do. "I don't mean drinking a lot of milk," he responded. "Just a glass with dinner every night." What's next? Taking out the dog and reading the morning paper? "I was thinking of those, yes," he said. It's early, but we're thinking that Mr. Choate may just not have the temperament required of a Spider.

[Syd Thrift]

Overview: Yes, this team's name is the Boston Beaneaters. Some of you may be thinking, "wow, that is a stupid name for a team." A few of you may even have thought in your minds similar to "this is the worst team name of all time, worse than the Utah Jazz". To which I say to you two things. One, this is 1897 and jazz has yet to be invented yet and as such naming a team the Utah Jazz would be like naming a team the Florida Gleep Glop Glorp. Two, if you think it is a bad name, you do not know the history of the Beaneaters. In the early days of baseball, the sport was not popular and as such had to piggyback onto other organized competitions in order to attract fans. The Beaneaters were sponsored and eventually purchased by Koyabashi "Beaneater" MacGrue, the greatest competitive eater of the 19th century.

In 1897, these Beaneaters, who had been chosen for the squad as much for their gastronomic abilities as their baseball ones, essentially remained stagnant from the year before. On the ballfield, this has been a historically mediocre team, never losing more than 90 games but also never winning more than 81. Off the field, they are very very fat men. Okay, I guess they're fat on the field as well, but they're surprisingly limber.

Name			Age	W	L	SV	ERA	G	GS	IP	HAGG	ER	HR	BB	K	VORP
Bobby Ralph		28	24	22	0	3.54	49	49	420.0	421	165	5	155	111	55.5
Scott Hight		24	20	23	0	2.75	48	48	386.0	412	118	6	65	73	81.1
Keith Gages		29	13	17	1	3.56	49	27	267.2	271	106	2	58	83	34.0
Erik Pritchitt		23	10	8	0	3.43	22	22	165.1	167	63	5	47	74	23.3
Mike Green		31	3	4	9	2.25	44	0	56.0	58	14	1	12	27	14.4
Sam Joell		37	2	6	0	7.12	8	8	54.1	67	43	2	31	8
David Gailbreath	26	1	1	0	5.52	11	0	14.2	24	9	1	3	2	-1.0

Bobby Ralph is so fat that he can barely walk, but he managed to issue 155 of them, good for 2nd in the league. No pitcher faced more men than him last year. Scott "Undertall" Hight got his name because of a masterful quip he invented this past season: "I'm not overweight, I'm undertall." As you can quite imagine, this caused our crack team of sportswriters to chortle and, nay, even guffaw for roughly an hour. At that point our associate editor, one Jim Davis Sr. said, "now imagine if a large orange and black-striped cat said that", which caused us to laugh unabated for quite some more time. Ironically, the strain of 2 hours plus of non-stop laughter was too big a strain on Boston Beaneaters stringer Darby "Fatpants" Alexander. We shall miss you, Fatpants!

Catcher and First Base

Pos	Player			Age	G	AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI	SB	AVG	VORP
C	Ju-wei Si-ma		41	123	407	76	123	8	4	1	58	7	.302	17.9
C	Pauli MacKenzie		25	62	181	20	51	3	1	1	30	1	.282	5.1
C	Bradley Patterson	25	11	12	0	3	0	0	0	3	0	.250	-0.3
1B	Eric McNeice		28	154	603	106	188	29	11	3	92	11	.312	35.4

Ju-wei Si-ma confuses batters and teammates alike in his ability to consume more food than anyone else at one time and his even stranger ability to not gain weight. Quite frankly we find it disgusting the way his Oriental body is able to defy physics in these ways. He's also adept at defying the effects of aging in baseball. Eric McNeice gets depressed because he eats too much and then eats too much because he's depressed. It's a vicious cycle. Fortunately, he's able to forget his woes on the diamond, and this is a large part of why he managed to play in every single game last year.

Infield

Pos	Player			Age	G	AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI	SB	AVG	VORP
2B	Lonzo Amill		21	148	599	95	173	15	9	0	51	68	.289	7.2
2B	Dan Strikland		29	25	29	7	10	0	1	0	5	2	.345	1.9
3B	Ron Lanyon		31	128	448	51	116	14	4	1	52	5	.259	-2.7
3B	Stan Hollick		28	132	185	11	21	2	0	0	14	1	.247	4.2
3B	Jack Stolz		25	2	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	--	0.0
SS	Nelson Johnson		23	136	440	41	112	11	5	0	42	10	.255	-3.5
SS	Domynguos Parelez	35	109	164	22	36	5	0	4	27	1	.220	-2.3

Lonzell Amill knows what picante sauce should taste like. That is because he has tasted every flavor of picante sauce currently made. When he retires, he wants to become a professional critic of hot sauces and salsas. Occasionally he may agree to throw in a creamier sauce. Since he's only 21, he has yet to put on the Beaneaters gravitas and as such led the league in steals. Within months, the only "steal" he'll know how to do is the "dine and dash".

Ron Lanyon and Nelson Johnson weren't all that, although they most certainly were a bag of chips. Johnson is young and a great fielder, so he's likely to keep his job. Tough to say with Lanyon. Johnson's backup is career homerun king Domynguos Parelez, nicknamed the Vulture because he once ate an entire vulture in one sitting. Fascinating fact: according to Parelez, vultures do not taste like chicken. They do not taste like chicken at all. They taste like death and sadness.

Outfield

Pos	Player			Age	G	AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI	SB	AVG	VORP
LF	Will Munger		31	105	436	65	108	11	7	0	32	54	.248	4.0
LF	Gennarino Chiaudani	27	68	113	15	28	0	1	1	5	12	.248	-0.3
LF	Steven Corliss		20	21	83	16	24	3	0	1	7	5	.289	0.8
LF	Dave Rayfield		35	62	73	8	17	1	1	0	2	4	.233	-1.0
CF	Ernie Merwin		28	124	341	65	96	13	6	3	37	23	.282	12.2
CF	Dennis Dean		24	110	275	34	78	7	6	0	34	10	.284	5.0
RF	Dan DeBose		25	138	552	78	138	21	4	1	77	41	.250	1.4
RF	Jim Shears		23	45	74	5	18	2	0	0	1	2	.243	-2.2

Will Munger may not have done much at the plate, but there is no coincidence that a team he played for led the National League in both fatness and self-loathing. He had a fat and self-hate influence on the rest of the lineup the way a good hitter will protect the man hitting right behind him. It's like an aura. Speaking of auras, Ernie Merwin carried an smell-related aura relating to old foodstuffs crammed about the folds of his misshapen body. He, Munger, and DeBose have perfected the Steal of Disgust; by the 4th inning, no middle infielder want to touch either of them, even with a leather glove covering their hand. DeBose enjoys eating and doing other gross things people laugh at fat people for doing.

[Syd Thrift]

Overview: Beset by injuries, the Chicago Colts won their fewest games since 1892, barely finishing above .500 with a 79-75 record. As goes the fate of the "cow boy", so goes the fate of the city in the town best known for making tasty meat products out of the cows the "cow boys" drive from Texas to their processing plants. As of 1898, the cow boy seems to be on the wane, as more and more immigrants squeeze into the big cities. However, just as it may only take little bit of luck to get the Colts on track, it may only take a little bit... okay, I have no idea where I am going here. Pretend that I have just made a sweeping but informative proclamation on the fate of the cow man. Tell other people of this statement, but be purposefully vague about it. Soon, people shall think of me, the Colts stringer, as a serious intellectual and I may quit this stupid job.

Name			Age	W	L	SV	ERA	G	GS	IP	HAGG	ER	HR	BB	K	VORP
Jesse MacLagan		27	23	25	0	3.34	51	51	428.0	436	159	4	84	164	60.6
Ralph Gray		30	20	20	0	3.38	46	46	327.2	396	123	5	93	62	43.2
Glenn Spiller		28	19	10	0	2.26	34	34	278.2	276	70	1	52	81	71.1
Jimmy Baker		27	11	9	0	2.64	33	15	167.0	179	49	8	27	37	33.3
Martinez Bajana		24	3	1	3	6.20	32	0	61.0	97	42	0	27	9	-9.5
Bill Hawkins		31	1	4	8	4.58	40	0	57.0	67	29	1	25	15	0.7
John Titley		32	1	4	0	4.41	5	5	32.2	51	16	3	18	11	1.0
Vince Davenport		28	1	2	0	4.59	3	3	17.2	26	8	9	5	1	0.2

The rotation was a case of the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. The good: Glenn Spiller, the Louisville import who just missed taking 20 victories with the Colts in 34 tries. The bad: Ralph Gray, who both won 20 and lost 20. Actually, he wasn't that bad, but somebody had to be Bad and he was the best suited for the role. Hmm. Come to think of it, perhaps the "bad" could be Martinez Bajana and his amazing 1:3 K/W ratio. (side note: a lesser author might have edited that last part to make it look like he didn't change his mind. I am no lesser author, sir! I read Henry James, and I know stream of consciousness writing when I see it and especially when I write it. I'll break out of this malaise or my name isn't James Joyce!)(ed. note: his name isn't James Joyce. It's Ring Lardner. Yes, we know it's a stupid name, but he refuses to change it to something more baseball writer-y like Socks Mullane or "Death To Written Things" Cabot)

Where was I? Oh, the ugly. Jesse MacLagan. He's just not a terribly attractive man, even for an Irish immigrant. Opposing hitters have a hard time looking at his oversized ears and triple-nostriled nose (ed. it's not really tri-nostriled. It's just really wide) and as a result strike out quite a lot when they face him. His teammates never seem to get terribly motivated to do well for him either, which is a large part of why he managed to have a losing record despite striking out almost twice as many as he gave free passes to first.

Catcher and First Base

Pos	Player			Age	G	AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI	SB	AVG	VORP
C	Tony Stone		29	126	431	67	98	12	3	3	41	5	.227	5.6
C	Rodolphe Bartoccini	23	35	122	16	36	7	0	0	13	1	.295	3.2
1B	Tomas Colhoun		31	154	595	92	188	23	17	3	134	9	.316	43.0
1B	Allen Kinser		33	62	61	9	14	0	2	0	15	0	.230	-2.2

The catcher's primary job is to catch base thieves, and this makes him something of the lawman of the team. Last year, Tony Stone was less of a Bat Masterson (a wonderful baseball name if you ask me!)(ed. like you'd know, "Ring") and more of a Carl "Sleepy" Stanhope, the renowned Tacoma, Washington sheriff who once allowed 14 criminals to escape in one fortnight. Stanhope's jail shared a wall with a rutabaga store that went out of business and was demolished. The wall was demolished with it but Stanhope didn't notice it for quite some time. Quite a yarn, wasn't that? Would you be shocked to discover that I made it up? Oh yes!

Tomas Colhoun likes to say "howdy" a lot. Suffice it to say that he's a crank favorite.

Infield

Pos	Player			Age	G	AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI	SB	AVG	VORP
2B	Albert Mangoni		29	63	267	54	76	12	5	3	36	14	.285	16.2
2B	Tom Martin		27	63	222	29	55	6	2	0	23	2	.248	-3.5
2B	Rowan Dillon		23	97	92	17	18	2	0	1	15	3	.196	-3.6
2B	Phil Messick		29	16	47	5	6	1	0	0	6	0	.128	-5.0
2B	Cooper Chamings		32	19	33	8	10	2	0	0	2	0	.303	0.4
3B	Jack Mintz		29	130	465	65	105	15	5	1	54	5	.226	0.8
3B	Bob Parker		24	71	158	19	51	6	3	1	19	0	.323	8.1
SS	Tim William		30	144	597	89	156	22	7	3	65	15	.261	5.7

Albert Mangoni hurt himself rasslin' a polecat to the ground and missed a good chunk of the season. This, coupled with Jack Mintz's career-ending death incurred in a high-noon gunfight, opened up the infield to allow some youngsters to demonstrate whether or not they were Colts material. Of those, Bob "Indian" Parker looks like the best, which is a good thing considering that he's the hot sacker. Tim William is a Living Legend who eats lemons by the bushel and rents stagecoaches in the offseason. 1898 was an off year for him, but he's expected to rebound. He's got the worst lemon-face in the league and is rumored to harbor an extreme dislike for Von "Skip Away" Craufurd of the Baltimore Orioles.

Outfield

Pos	Player			Age	G	AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI	SB	AVG	VORP
LF	Nivens O'Mulvaney	33	108	400	90	128	11	16	6	66	39	.320	53.2
LF	Floyd Pickleheimer	25	28	99	17	28	3	0	0	11	4	.283	4.6
LF	Mike MacHutcheon	32	3	6	0	0	0	0	0	0	0	.000	-1.2
CF	Ed Scalf		30	111	435	93	121	11	10	3	51	58	.278	24.0
CF	Maximiliano Bonizo	28	84	156	24	44	11	2	0	17	16	.282	5.0
CF	Carl Hendron		28	32	109	19	35	6	5	0	19	8	.321	8.9
CF	Sesto Cimabue		29	58	80	13	24	5	2	0	12	8	.300	5.5
RF	Jay Robbins		26	94	376	70	123	16	4	4	44	5	.327	32.7
RF	Dave Hight		41	52	184	22	43	3	2	0	15	2	.234	-4.3

The entire outfield was hurt for most of the season. Nivens "Quack" O'Mulvaney (if your name is already Nivens O'Mulvaney, do you really need a nickname)(and even if you do, why does it have to be "quack"?)(interesting story about that nickname)(ed. will you stop with the stupid digressions and contradictions? It makes you look unprofessional. Can you write up another draft of this and give it to me befroe the deadline? And none of that resubmitting the same manuscript crap like you did last time. This time I'm actually going to look at it before I send it to the typesetter) and Ed Scalf suffered day-to-day injury one right after the other and were eventually shelved once it became clear that these Colts were not going to take the pennant. Jay Robbins got hurt, too, causing the squad to bring in former Cleveland Spider Dave Hight, who quickly learned that "extreme" sports are no match for a quick draw, a shotgun, and pistol-packin' mama.

[ForemanFan]

*yawn* Are we there yet?!

[cknox0723]

I liked the boring writeups, too, but I doubt there is anyone who read this thread and didn't at least crack a smile at Nivens "Quack" O'Mulvaney, never mind the eight parentheses following his name.

Interested in learning more about Brooklyn pitcher Chris Langdon and Beaneater outfielder Dennis Dean if you would care to go into a bit more depth on them.

Would love to see these reports if you ever found a real rooting interest among the teams. If we get picante sauce and rasslin' now...

[Syd Thrift]

Overview: (Ed note: our Philadelphia stringer is a bit of an "avant garde" writer who is always into new forms of expression. His current chosen literary form is a futuristic device he calls "internet chat room". We have no idea what this is as this is the year 1898 and the Internet uses Morse code and isn't nearly quick enough for "chat". I would compare the style to e e cummings but he has not to my knowledge begun writing yet either. Anyway...)
fillyphan: philly is known as the city of brotherly love
mark237y9823768296: lol "brother love" gay
fillyphan: su n00b
fillyphan: the word "gay" wasn't in common usage until liek 1930
fillyphan: say "the nancy" instead
mark6y2896u26262: ok sorreee
fillyphan: anyway philly was like good and stuff but not that good
joemorgan1: tehy werent clutch at all
fillyphan: ya true true
mckeochaniwanturbabies: they were good! they won 90 games, dudes!
joemorgan1: there is no reward for 2nd place
stathed: ya there is it's like 15% of the world series take
joemorgan1: su there is no AWARD for 2nd place
stathed: ur wrong again it's called "The Morgan Bulkely Runner-Up Trophy"
joemorgan1: why do you keep typing?
joemorgan1: ok there is an award for 2nd place
joemorgan1: but it is the nancy lol
hotguy16: NE 19 YO GRLS WANT 2 CYBER?????? press 646
mckeochaniwanturbabies:
fillyphan: GET OUT OF OUR CHATROOM JERK
joemorgan1: stop whining and get on with the playa hatin
hotguy16: I HAXOR ALL UR BOXEN

Pitching:

Name			Age	W	L	SV	ERA	G	GS	IP	HAGG	ER	HR	BB	K	VORP
Jim McNeiledge		30	25	22	0	2.42	51	51	423.1	458	114	3	89	122	100.6
Jerry Watson		29	26	17	0	2.37	57	57	422.1	400	111	3	64	239	103.7
John O'Cloonan		27	27	13	0	3.18	46	46	346	346	116	5	81	158	52.3
Tom Ewing		39	5	7	19	2.49	63	0	105.0	108	29	1	32	46	24.5
Jimmy Baker		27	7	5	6	3.14	39	0	100.1	114	35	2	22	25	16.5

fillyphan: the pitching was great
joemorgan1: the pitching sux
marky26y286276290602: the pitching was the nancy lololol
fillyphan: why do u say it sux, joe?
mark686286720: lolololololol
joemorgan1: Jerry Watson was okay, I guess
joemorgan1: but these guys as a whole don't know how to win
joemorgan1: besides, the rotation was all backwards
joemorgan1: look at how John O'Cloonan won the most and was therefore the best but got the fewest starts
fillyphan: true true
stathed: that's just stupid
joemorgan1: ur stupid
stathed: o ya taht's a gr8 comeback
joemorgan1: ty
stathed: that was sarcasm
joemorgan1: sarcasm hasn't been invented yet! I win!

Catcher and First Base

Pos	Player			Age	G	AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI	SB	AVG	VORP
C	Renau Corso		26	120	447	65	126	13	4	2	57	4	.282	10.7
C	Matt Kistler		35	37	83	7	13	3	0	1	8	0	.157	-3.7
C	Gallagher Tarrant	22	14	43	6	9	1	1	0	5	0	.209	-1.1
1B	C.C. McTary		30	152	613	79	179	34	5	2	94	2	.292	17.6
1B	J.T. Nicks		30	28	28	6	7	0	0	0	3	0	.250	-0.5

fillyphan: corso and mctary were a'ight
joemorgan1: i can see mctary, but corso was crap
stathed: i quit
stathed logged off.
joemorgan1: matt kistler handles pitchers better he is great
mark267289762: yah renau corso is a bust there ear
fillyphan: ?
mark798672682: even his had was good
fillyphan: o rly
mark762789268: LMAO @ O RLY
joemorgan1: LOLOLOLOLOL
lurker: LMAOMAOAMaOaMOAMAOAMA
joemorgan1: u know what would be awesome?
marky7827629: LMAAAAAAAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
fillyphan: what?
mark247689276289762: LOOOOOOOOOOOLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOLY!
joemorgan1: if you had a pix of an owl saying that
fillyphan: oh ya lololololol!

Infield

Pos	Player			Age	G	AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI	SB	AVG	VORP
2B	Kevin MacKeochan	33	127	462	83	174	25	7	1	77	13	.377	52.0
2B	Tom Martin		27	67	162	15	42	4	3	0	17	1	.259	-0.9
3B	Mike Altmann		28	132	491	91	138	11	2	3	64	8	.281	13.6
3B	Rod van Schoonhoven	26	35	93	10	21	1	0	1	11	2	.26	-3.3
3B	Eduardo Cardec		29	26	20	5	6	0	1	0	2	1	.300	0.9
3B	Rowan Caird		26	6	3	0	1	1	0	0	1	0	.333	0.4
SS	Ning Zhang		26	151	678	128	204	18	10	3	62	30	.301	21.1

mckeochaniwanturbabies: I LOVE U KEVIN MACKEOCHAN!!!!!!!!
fillyphan: u know, he can't hear u
joemorgan1: ya this is being written down
mckeochaniwanturbabies: I DON'T CARE I LOVE HIM SO MUUUUUUUUUUUUCH!!!!!
fillyphan: he was good
joemorgan1: he sux worst MVP ever 77 RBIs? how is that an MVP?
fillyphan: .377 avg
joemorgan1: u statheads and ur stats su about the stats the MVP is about who is the best not about who has the best stats
fillyphan: true true
stathed: back
mckeochaniwanturbabies: KEVIN MCCLUTCHOCHAN IS TEH CLUTCH!!!!!!!!
stathed: see i didn't miss much
fillyphan: ya rly
joemorgan1: LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
stathed: did u all hear about the new game out of the park baseball negative 100?
fillyphan: i hear the ai sux
stathed: nah it's tight when u hit a guy he falls down now just like in real life
joemorgan1: taht isn't even out yet
stathed: ya but i got an advance copy cuz i said i wrote for thriftlon reports
fillyphan: NOOOOOO
fillyphan: when's it coming out
markus_heinsohn: OOTP Negative 100 will be released when it is tested and ready.
fillyphan: how are u even alive in 1898?
markus_heinson: Good code.

Outfield

Pos	Player			Age	G	AB	R	H	2B	3B	HR	RBI	SB	AVG	VORP
LF	Galimberto Eccelino	27	103	401	70	113	18	4	8	63	7	.282	24.0
LF	Nathan Middlemas	23	36	136	21	47	3	3	2	23	0	.346	12.9
LF	Lonan Eve		20	77	92	9	22	1	0	0	13	1	.239	-3.7
CF	Fred Jacobsen		22	123	487	93	125	16	5	4	55	47	.257	8.0
CF	Doonan Elmes		23	99	244	36	83	4	7	3	41	6	.340	19.4
RF	Dougal Mossman		26	139	495	76	114	10	18	0	71	29	.230	2.1
RF	Glenn Peoples		31	50	58	8	12	2	1	0	7	0	.207	-2.0

fillyphan: fred jacksen won the gold glove
stathed: it's jacobsen, fool. do you even follow baseball?
fillyphan:
joemorgan1: fielding is the most important thing in the game. Therefore Fred Jackson should be MVP
stathed: JACOBSEN
fillyphan: o rly?
mark13759123769: loloLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
lurker: If you ask me, the outfield is what lost the Phillies the championship this year. Jacobsen and Dougal Mossman both, frankly, stunk and that was a lot for the rest of the team to dig out of.
joemorgan1: well, we can see that SOMEONE has never played the game of baseball.
mark7y892769276: the nancy lol

[Syd Thrift]

Originally Posted by cknox0723

Interested in learning more about Brooklyn pitcher Chris Langdon and Beaneater outfielder Dennis Dean if you would care to go into a bit more depth on them.

'98 was Langdon's rookie year after a frankly pretty average minor league career. He went from jaw-droppingly awful in 1894 (53.1 IPs, 102 HA, 54 ER) to rearendkickingly great in the first half of 1898 (12-7, 2.10 ERA in 107 IPs, all in relief), at which point the Superbas had no choice but to bring him up. Pretty good rookie season, a lot lucky (.272 BABIP) and I'm really concerned by the 1:3 K/W ratio, but he's still only 22 and it's not like Brooklyn is going to miss out on a pennant by overplaying him next year.

He might be best-suited for a closer role: opponents were 20-84 in innings 7-9 and just 5-22 in extra frames. He also turned it on with RISP: batters hit just .200 against him in 60 ABs with just 3 doubles in the power column. Like a lot of youngsters, he got absolutely lit up on the road (.306, 10 BBs, 2 Ks), which bloated his stats up a bit.

Dennis Dean finally got a shot at regular play after 2 years of riding the big league pine. He made the most of it, hitting .282 (well, you saw that) with stellar defense in center field (3.06 range factor and a .964 FA, which, you'll have to trust me, is really good for the era). Since I don't do platooning, usually when a player gets a half-season's worth of at-bats, it's because they played the first or second half of the season. Not so with Dean. The most ABs he got in a single month was 51 in July and the fewest was 46 in June (well, he got 12 in April, but that's a tiny month in the first place; Opening Day is the 25th). He was actually a better hitter behind in the count last year (.278) than ahead (.218) and was an absolute beast with 2 strikes against him (.259).

Note: you may have noticed that I'm putting a premium on batting average and won-lost record and am not even mentioning things like VORP or RC/27. This is by design. For one thing, fans of deadball-era baseball didn't have the advanced metrics available to them and if they did they wouldn't have understood them. Also, in this period, batting average was a *really good* measure of hitting ability, way better than it is now. As for pitchers, ERA wasn't even an official stat until the mid-1900s (as in 1905 or 6, not 1950) but I couldn't bring myself to exclude it entirely.

[Syd Thrift]

Overview: Remember when life was so simple and all problems, no matter how great, could be resolved in one 22-minute sitcom? I hope you don't because this is the wrong ERA. I'm talking about the future, maaaan! The St. Louis Browns were a perennial second-division team before last year, when a combination of "spunk" and "true grit" earned them second place in the Association. Not first place, for that would be too elitist and would be inaccessible to the masses. Second is a good spot. A distant second, behind the Cincinnati communists. The Browns were well behind the Reds all season long but weren't completely out of it until August. But that's bad news! Let's talk about good news instead!

Name			Age	W	L	SV	ERA	G	GS	IP	HAGG	ER	HR	BB	K	VORP
Mike Hebert		27	26	19	0	2.82	51	51	424.1	460	133	3	148	123	83.9
Cliff Brisco		29	22	21	0	3.43	47	47	388.0	389	148	4	224	144	52.1
Orran Meager		28	27	15	0	3.10	49	49	377.2	414	130	4	101	121	63.2
Ettore Castelucci	30	11	6	9	3.52	67	0	135.1	131	53	1	84	43	16.4
Mike Taylor		31	2	1	0	2.78	3	3	22.2	29	7	0	5	4	4.5
Corey Wilson		25	0	2	0	17.0