Yet Another Pale Hose Poll (#2) - Pick Tomorrow's Starting Pitcher

[cknox0723]

Seems there's a bit of a quandary here, as I'm two days before the All-Star Break in the 2006 season in my White Sox "dynasty" and don't have a starting pitcher whose name isn't as yellow as dog piss.

Easy solution...call someone up, right? Um...none of my starters in AAA are rested, either.

Oops. I don't have a whole hell of a lot of ideas left beyond that, so I figured I'd let the general public decide. All ratings are off, so I'm giving you as much as I know (and can estimate). The options are as follows (in alphabetical order by level):

ON THE ACTIVE ROSTER

1. LHP Rick Ankiel (13.0 IP, 0-3, 13.15 ERA) - Ankiel is at about at the same stage in his development now as his real-life counterpart was after his meltdown in the playoffs in...2001? Or was that 2000? Anyhow, he's been up and down at various points this year with obviously poor results. He's pitched over 40 innings in AA and AAA with a composite ERA around 1.20, but most of that's been as a reliever. He's made one start for the big club this year (two months ago), and was summarily destroyed - two and a third, six hits, eight walks, and ten runs.

Ankiel (or Ankhiel if you prefer) is listed as rested, with two days of rest off of a twenty pitch appearance.

2. LHP Mark Buehrle (126.2 IP, 9-5, 3.13 ERA) - The ace and horse of the staff, Buehrle's exploits are well detailed in the thread on page 18, reply 352 (not that you should...go read it, or anything). He's been fantastic over the last few months, and he'd be the natural choice to start here. Ideally, I'd like to pitch him 300 innings, somehow.

But he's not rested. Just three days ago, he threw 113 pitches in a victory over Cleveland. While pitching him now would also set him up to start the very first game after the All-Star Break, it's also entirely possible that he'd get hurt. If that happens, the Chicago faithful might riot, loot, and pillage. And I'd be the target.

3. RHP Jorge DePaula (103.0 IP, 3-11, 4.02 ERA) - Don't be fooled by the lousy record - Schizophrenic Jorge's been the team's second best starter for much of the year. But he's lost five in a row and struggled so much in the last month that I skipped him over in the rotation when I had the opportunity a few days ago.

Of course, thanks to the incompetence of the rest of the staff, he ended up pitching anyway, throwing 38 pitches in a game that we miraculously won with an eleven run comeback. He's got a day of rest off of that, so I'm not too keen on throwing him out there. Even if he's decent (a long shot, the way he's pitched recently), how long could he go? 4 innings, maybe?

ON THE THREE-A LEVEL

Well, there's no one. None of the starters are rested, and the pitcher with the most rest, a young man named Kyle Sleeth, would have three days' rest off of 105 pitches. I wouldn't trust him on full rest, so that's out.

There are a stable of relievers that are rested, tested, and ready, but the only one with much starting experience is a pitcher who's been up to the majors a few times already this year, Rick Hummel. He looked good in his last three major league outings, working a total of four scoreless innings, and he's pitched a couple strong frames in AAA Charlotte since being demoted through no real fault of his own. However, he's a reliever, and realistically, I have no idea how long he could go.

DOUBLING THE A

The two best prospects we've got at AA are Ryan Wing and Erick Blackburn, both southpaws with ERA's nearer to two than four. But neither is anywhere close to being rested and ready to pitch. Curses.

Young pheenom Chris Scarborough, drafted in the first round this year, is rapidly ascending through the system, but his sparkling debut in AA was today. Someone named Jay Marshall, a quasi-prospect based on age and sort-of success, is also tired.

That leaves us with our last two options, a pair of career minor-leaguers and 26 year olds in Tim Tisch and Brian Whitaker. Whitaker's a control artist who made an emergency start back in May when the same sort of situation arose and the results were pretty freaking ugly.

One and a third inning pitched. Seven hits. Eight runs.

Pass.

And Tisch isn't much better - a 2.64 ERA, but his WHIP is around 1.20 and for a guy who's a couple years older than much of his competition, his strikeout rate's remarkably low.

I'm not even going to consider anyone in A-ball, even though we are horrible. That's another point to be made - we're about 20 games out of first right now, so it's not as if there's a playoff push to be made.

After typing all that out, I'm still not sure where to go. Sure, I could make a trade, but it's going to be tough juggling someone off the active roster right now -- which is also why I'm not too keen on calling up a random scrub minor leaguer. But then we're left with Rick Ankiel. Yikes.

But I figured it was an interesting question. If you do as well, take a minute and vote. It'll count, I swear! Much thanks.

[UngratefulDead]

I'd say see if you can get four our five innings out of Schizophrenic DePaula. His better side is liable to rear it's head eventually..

And an aside, as one of Craig's loyal readers, I encourage anybody who is looking at this poll going "What the hell?" to go out there and start reading what is half of the two best dynasties on this board (the other being Tib's, and if you haven't read that yet, well, I really have nothing to say to you).

[Goodsox]

I want to see the Wild Thing pitch

[Vris]

What Ungrateful said. It's well written, hilarious, and you'll be a White Sox fan in no time (never thought that I'd say that).

As for the poll, you're best bet is Schizo Jorge. He is rested, more or less, and and even if he does only go 4 innings, you have your outstanding bullpen to back him up!

[Dreamscape]

Nobody available to pick up as a free agent? To make it semi-real or whatever, you could try to find someone who was recently released so he's been active of late.

[cknox0723]

Wanted to thank everyone that's voted so far, and of course UGD and Vris for their over-the-top nonsense. (Obviously, they just did it because they knew I would personally thank them and stroke their egos. )

Dreamscape, the only free agents I see are guys that are out for the year (or longer) or some scrub sort of prospects that haven't made it. I'm not even sure that they'd be any better than, say, Juan Uribe. And if you're voting now and aren't familiar with the team, you've probably saying "What the hell?" right now. Don't worry, it's normal.

Oh, and a bump to see if we can get some swing voters to really push this thing in one direction...

[Vris]

Are votes from Florida going to count?

[UngratefulDead]

Originally Posted by cknox0723

(Obviously, they just did it because they knew I would personally thank them and stroke their egos. )

Purrrrrr...

[cknox0723]

See, the last two posts are exactly why I enjoy this sort of stuff so much. It's just a whole bunch of screwing around, really. Got to love it. At this point, it seems the Scotsman and his clan of swing voters pushed things in favor of "Wild Thing", so guess who's starting? I'll close it at this point (assuming I can), and I'd like to thank y'all for voting - especially the people whose names I don't recognize, as well as the kooks who voted for Tim Tisch (???) and Brian Whitaker (eh?). And canadiancreed, who's apparently very funny. I'm going to, umm, stop...talking...now, and go do something productive. Like watch the Wild Thing pitch, and figure out new and interesting ways to turn 50-word posts into 500-worders.