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#121 (permalink) |
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Minors (Double A)
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 116
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August 1st, 3008
Hartford continues to hold the DCL's best record and looks like the team to beat. At 67-40, Hartford currently has an 8 game lead in the CL Southeast over 2nd place Oklahoma City with 3rd place Orlando a close third 9 games out of first. Hartford is certainly paying their way as their $102.8 million dollar payroll and their 207 team HRs are tops in the league. With the MVP numbers starting LF Jesus Christ is posting, plus the contributions of several key role players, Memphis (61-46) holds a 12 game lead in the CL East over 2nd place Charlotte and Norfolk as both are 49-58. However, Memphis is accomplishing all of this with the league's smallest payroll - $50.49 million, less than half the salary which Hartford is dishing out. Monthly Highlights 7/5/3008 - New York pitcher Michael Lerner (1-0 / 0.82 ERA / 14 K's) and Gadsden pitcher Manuel Ortega (1-0 / 2.16 ERA) win Token Human Player of the Week Awards. 7/5/3008 - New Orleans catcher Guru Nahak hits 2 singles, a triple and 2 HRs, scoring 3 runs and driving in 7 in New Orleans' 17-6 drubbing of Cincinnati. 7/12/3008 - Scientology deity A Thetan (.435 / 6 HR / 15 RBI) and Sikh icon Guru Nahak (.600 / 12 RBI) win Player of the Week Awards. 7/15/3008 - Philadelphia RF Tekkeitsertok hits the 64th cycle in league history in Philly's 13-3 win in Phoenix. Tekkeitsertok finished the game 4 for 6 with 3 runs scored and 4 RBI. Tekkeitsertok and his Philadelphia teammates have been playing inspired baseball as of late and currently hold a 2 game lead over New York in the CL Northwest. 7/15/3008 - Charlotte 3B Abraham hits the 65th cycle in league history mere hours after Tekkeitsertok. Abraham went 5 for 5 on the day and in addition to collecting a single, double, triple and HR, he threw in a second HR for good measure. The Judaism icon scored 3 runs and drove in 4 as Charlotte destroys Oklahoma City, 14-1. 7/17/3008 - Memphis LF Jesus Christ clubs 4 HRs in Memphis 17-5 whipping of New York in the Big Apple. Christ also hit a single, scored 5 runs and drove in 6 in the game. 7/19/3008 - Christianity namesake Jesus Christ (.556 / 8 HR / 14 RBI) and Aboriginal deity Altjira (.619 / 14 RBI / .704 OBP) win Player of the Week Awards. 7/19/3008 - Incan God Viracocha powers Atlanta to a 14-13 win in Memphis with 3 HRs, 3 runs scored and 5 RBI. 7/22/3008 - Zulu deity uKqili hits 3 HRs with 5 RBI in Norfolk's 10-7 win in Philadelphia. 7/24/3008 - Scientology icon A Thetan goes 5 for 6 with a run scored and 3 RBI in Houston's 12-inning 5-4 win over Orlando. A Thetan hit 2 singles, 2 doubles and a HR, including the game winning RBI double in the bottom of the 12th. 7/25/3008 - New York catcher Awonawilona is perfect from the plate as he goes 5 for 5 with a double and 2 HRs, scoring 2 runs and driving in 8, including a game-winning 2-RBI double in the bottom of the 9th inning. Awonawilona also stole his 50th base of the year as New York edges Hartford in a shootout, 14-13. 7/26/3008 - Atlanta catcher Viracocha (.619 / 16 RBI / .654 OBP) and Norse Father God Odin (.706 / 4 HR / 13 RBI) win Player of the Week Awards. 7/27/3008 - Mortal Raleigh pitcher James Petrey improves his record to 12-1 on the season as he NO-HITS Seattle in their own house. It was a bad day for the deities as Raleigh 1B Ra (0-4) and Seattle RF Siddhartha Guatama (0-2) are both held hitless. The perfect game went out the window quickly as Guatama walked with 2 outs in the bottom of the 1st. A walk in the bottom of the 3rd accounted for the last of the base runners Petrey would allow as he cruises to a complete game 8-0 win. "He is a fine pitcher," Guatama was quoted as saying after the game, "I was happy he achieved such a beautiful goal. I wish it wasn't against our Seattle team, but everything happens for a reason. I have no regrets." 7/30/3008 - The Pygmy Powerhouse hits the 68th cycle in league history as Chicago beats Philadelphia 10-6. Khonvoum scored 4 runs and collected 3 RBI in the victory. 8/1/3008 - Memphis LF Jesus Christ (.495 / 22 HR / 50 RBI) wins his second straight Batter of the Month Award. In the UL, Pittsburgh CF Ometeotl (.500 / 43 RBI / .611 OBP) wins his league's Batter of the Month Award. CL Deity BA Leader: Jesus Christ .511 (+.027 over Awonawilona) CL Deity HR Leader: Jesus Christ 70 (+9 over Bondje) CL Deity RBI Leader: Jesus Christ 175 (+24 over Bondje) CL Deity SB Leader: Jesus Christ / A Thetan 67 (+6 over Abraham) UL Deity BA Leader: Odin .517 (+.029 over Hunab Ku) UL Deity HR Leader: Guru Nahak 69 (+3 over Vishnu) UL Deity RBI Leader: Vishnu 149 (+8 over Ra) UL Deity SB Leader: Lao-tzu 68 (+1 over Siddhartha Guatama) Deity Career RBI Leaderboard 1.) Vishnu 1015 2.) Jesus Christ 986 3.) uKqili 945 4.) Altjira 944 5.) Ometeotl 942 6.) Odin 940 7.) Bondje 925 8.) Siddhartha Guatama 914 9.) Ra 912 10.) Mohammed 909 |
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#123 (permalink) |
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All Star Reserve
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: Watford
Posts: 831
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Jesus Christ Jesus is having a great year! Ha ha, I bet nobody else thought of such a great* joke like that.
*read - utterly crap and predictable
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Talkin' about the issues but keepin' it funky!
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#124 (permalink) |
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Minors (Double A)
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 116
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September 1st, 3008
Things are looking bright in Memphis where they have the league's most comfortable lead (13 games) heading down the home-stretch of the season. Their magic number sits at 14, meaning they could be clinching a playoff berth quite early. Their resident deity Jesus Christ had a poor August (.404 / 13 HR / 30 RBI), which dropped his average to .490, only .012 points above Awonawilona for the CL Lead. His HR and RBI leads are somewhat solid, but he will need to hit the ball more regularly than last month in order to take home the Triple Crown. Watch out for Satan in the CL - Satan is coming off a great month (.513 / 20 HR / 48 RBI) and has moved into 2nd place in the CL HR race, 10 HRs behind Christ. Nothing would please Satan more than spoiling Jesus' Triple Crown bid by besting his HR numbers. Also, if Christ can manage to hit 17 HRs and steal 21 bases, he will become the league's first member of the 100/100 club. Currently, Jesus Christ and Siddhartha Guatama are the league's only members of the 90/90 club (both joining in 3006). The UL leaderboards are too muddled to see any one deity making a clear run for the Triple Crown. Norse Father God Odin has the best shot at it, as he has the lead in Average, is 2nd in RBI and is only 5 HRs behind the leaders in the UL. However, Guru Nahak, Hunab Ku and Vishnu are all in the leaderboards and could also make a run should Odin's average stumble. Monthly Highlights 8/1/3008 - Hartford pitcher Scotty Riley walks 7 and throws 130 pitches, but manages to NO-HIT Phoenix in Arizona. Confucius walked twice and stole 2 bases, but the Phoenix offense is as impotent as a Nevada boxing commissioner. Hartford wins the game 7-0 as Riley improves his record on the season to 12-3. 8/2/3008 - Christianity icon Jesus Christ (.545 / 15 RBI / 1.227 SLG) and Norse Father God Odin (.619 / 11 RBI) win Player of the Week Awards. 8/2/3008 - Seattle RF Siddhartha Guatama hits the 69th cycle in league history in Seattle's 11-5 win over Buffalo. Guatama was 5 for 5 on the day with 2 HRs, 2 runs scored, 6 RBI and a stolen base. 8/9/3008 - Chicago LF Khonvoum (.789 / 5 HR / 13 RBI / 1.842 SLG) and Gadsden 2B Odin (.667 / 4 HR / 11 RBI) win Player of the Week Awards. 8/9/3008 - Norse Father God Odin goes 0-2 with a walk and a stolen base as Gadsden is NO-HIT by Cleveland pitcher James Latch. Latch pitched a beautiful game, walking two and striking out 13 as Cleveland beats Gadsden 2-0. 8/10/3008 - Celtic deity Anu hits 3 HRs with 4 RBI in El Paso's 6-5 win over visiting Lewiston. Anu's third homer was a 2-run shot in the bottom of the 9th to win the game. 8/12/3008 - It's too late for Chicago to make a run at the playoffs, but Khonvoum may be becoming accustomed to his new surroundings as he hits 3 HRs with 4 RBI in Chicago's 4-3 win over Atlanta. 8/16/3008 - Charlotte 3B Abraham (.654 / 7 HR / 17 RBI) and El Paso RF Anu (.571 / 10 RBI / 1.714 SLG) win Player of the Week Awards. 8/18/3008 - Aboriginal deity Altjira clubs three HRs with 5 RBI as Lewiston edges Raleigh 6-4. 8/19/3008 - Hartford RF Bondje hits three HRs with 5 RBI in Hartford's 6-2 win over Philadelphia. 8/23/3008 - Voodoo deity Bondje (.750 / 6 HR / 11 RBI / 2.188 SLG) and Cleveland catcher Enlil (.750 / 5 HR / 9 RBI) win Player of the Week Awards. 8/25/3008 - Gadsden 2B Odin hits the 70th cycle in league history as Gadsden nips New Orleans, 9-8. Odin scored twice and drove in 4 in the win. 8/25/3008 - Sumerian God Enlil hits the 71st cycle in league history but Cleveland falls to Seattle 11-8, despite outhitting them 17-11. Enlil was 5 for 5 on the day with 2 HRs, 4 runs scored and 3 RBI. 8/26/3008 - Orlando CF Satan hits three HRs with 4 RBI in Orlando's 6-1 win over Phoenix. 8/30/3008 - Satanism icon Satan (.583 / 11 HR / 22 RBI) and Mayan God Hunab Ku (.519 / 5 HR / 13 RBI) win Player of the Week Awards. 9/1/3008 - News-hog Satan (.513 / 48 RBI / .645 OBP) and Cleveland catcher Enlil (.529 / 33 RBI / 1.329 SLG) win their first career Batter of the Month Awards. CL Deity BA Leader: Jesus Christ .490 (+.012 over Awonawilona) CL Deity HR Leader: Jesus Christ 83 (+10 over Satan) CL Deity RBI Leader: Jesus Christ 205 (+19 over Bondje) CL Deity SB Leader: Jesus Christ 79 (+1 over A Thetan) UL Deity BA Leader: Odin .512 (+.028 over Guru Nahak) UL Deity HR Leader: Hunab Ku / Vishnu / Guru Nahak 82 (+5 over Odin) UL Deity RBI Leader: Vishnu 188 (+10 over Odin) UL Deity SB Leader: Siddhartha Guatama 85 (+7 over Lao-tzu) Deity Career Hits Leaderboard 1.) Bondje 1275 2.) Vishnu 1263 3.) Odin 1254 4.) Hunab Ku 1242 5.) uKqili 1216 6.) Siddhartha Guatama 1198 7.) Jesus Christ 1196 7.) Ometeotl 1196 9.) A Thetan 1186 10.) Lao-tzu 1177 |
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#126 (permalink) | |
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Major Leagues
Join Date: Oct 2004
Posts: 467
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Quote:
And I was really happy with how it turned out...I start laughing every time I see it...but, then again, I do laugh at my own jokes a lot. Anyway though, it was, of course your league that brought that image to mind...glad to see the league continuing and looking forward to more.
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a.k.a.: Obscene Change-up, Wicked Heater, Nasty Knuckler What is the sound of one light bulb turning itself? Crash Test Yankees! |
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#127 (permalink) | |
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Minors (Double A)
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 116
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Quote:
While his HRs have always been on the low side, Jupiter's first three years were good as far as average and RBI, hitting .453/67/152, .440/77/177 and .448/77/195. The past two seasons, however, his average has nosedived resulting in seasons of .392/54/136 and .387/64/155. His .387 average in 3008 is the lowest recorded average for any deity and his 54 HRs in 3007 is the lowest HR Total for any of our deities in a season. To put that 54 in perspective, in an injury-shortened season which limited him to only 111 games, Khonvoum hit 64 HRs. Jupiter has never been to the postseason, has only one 3 Player of the Week Awards and his Career History shows nothing noteworthy between "Won Gold Glove at Catcher in 3006" and "Hit 3 Homeruns against El Paso, driving in 7 runs on 9/4/3008" His talent levels remain high and a couple have gone up as he is currently 120 in Contact, 154 in Gap Power, 136 in HR Power and 158 in Eye. So, Jupiter has all the tools he needs, he just can't seem to get them working as of yet. There is still plenty of time to go as all of our deities are a scant 25 years old at this point, but Jupiter is the deity with the most ground to cover. |
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#128 (permalink) |
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Minors (Double A)
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 116
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October 4th, 3008
The regular season has drawn to a close for the 3008 season of the DCL. As expected, Memphis was the first to clinch, winning the CL East comfortably. Houston came on strong at the end to edge Philadelphia for the CL Northeast crown and a slumping Hartford managed to hang on to win the CL Southeast over a surging Oklahoma City team which secured the CL Wildcard spot. Bondje gained on Jesus Christ's Batting Average over the last month, at one point getting within 2 points of the Memphis LF, but Christ turned on the jets when it counted to pull back to a comfortable lead and win the CL Triple Crown with a .489/100/242 season, pretty much locking up the MVP title as well. Jesus had a shot at becoming the first member of the 100 HRs / 100 Steals club, but fell 10 stolen bases shy of the mark. He is the first deity to post two 90/90 seasons, however. In the United League, Pittsburgh was first to clinch, locking up the UL Northwest over Columbus. New Orleans won the UL Southwest a few days later. The UL West came down the wire however, as Seattle and Stockton had to play a one-game playoff series after the season. The winner would be crowned champion of the UL West, the loser got a nice consolation prize in the form of the UL Wildcard. Seattle scored 3 runs in the top of the 9th to knot the game at 8-8, but an RBI double by Hunab Ku in the bottom of the 9th gives the UL West crown to Stockton. Norse Father God Odin did come the closest to winning the UL Triple Crown, finishing 1st in Average (.515), 3rd in HRs (97) and 2nd in RBI (218). The MVP voting will most likely come down to Odin or Hunab Ku (.487/100/212). Odin won the award in 3004, the inaugural season of the DCL, and would become the first deity to win the award twice. The playoff matchups are as follows: Memphis (Christ) vs. Hartford (Bondje) - Hartford is heavily favored to win this series as their highest payroll in the league has earned them both a great pitching staff and a great line-up. Memphis has gone quite far on heart but their pitching staff will most likely be too weak to win this series. Houston (A Thetan) vs. Oklahoma City (Apsu) - Houston is slightly favored to win this series as their pitching staff is slightly stronger than Oklahoma City. Oklahoma City was bumped from the playoffs in the first round last year while Houston made it to the World Series in 3006. Seattle (Guatama) vs. New Orleans (Nahak) - This should be a fantastic series as both teams have excellent pitching staffs and more than capable line-ups. The betting lines have swayed back and forth and have settled slightly on New Orleans. The X-Factor is Seattle's Siddhartha Guatama who is making his first career playoff appearance now that he has been traded out of Chicago. Will he buckle under the pressure or grow stronger from the journey? Stockton (Hunab Ku) vs. Pittsburgh (Ometeotl) - Hunab Ku's first trip to the playoffs is projected to be a short one, as gamblers have been heavily favoring Pittsburgh in this series. Pittsburgh's pitching staff and line-up is quite good, while Stockton has gotten this far pretty much on HRs alone. Monthly Highlights 9/4/3008 - Quiet deity Jupiter clubs 3 HRs in Cincinnati's 10-7 win in El Paso, scoring 4 runs and driving in 7. 9/6/3008 - Atlanta catcher Viracocha (.684 / 4 HR / 13 RBI / 1.789 SLG) and Celtic deity Anu (.650 / 4 HR / 11 RBI / 1.700 SLG) win Player of the Week Awards. 9/13/3008 - In a slow news week, Incan God Viracocha (.591 / 6 HR / 13 RBI) wins his 2nd straight Player of the Week Award in the CL while Columbus SS Vishnu (.667 / 4 HR / 18 RBI) pulls down the PotW in the UL. 9/16/3008 - Memphis wins the CL East crown. 9/17/3008 - Stockton 3B Hunab Ku hits a single, 2 doubles and 2 HRs in 6 trips to the plate in an 18-12 shootout win over Greensboro. HuKu scored 4 runs and drove in 3. 9/19/3008 - Scientology icon A Thetan goes 5 for 5 from the plate with 2 doubles, a triple and 2 HRs in Houston's 13-8 win over Oklahoma City. Thetan scored twice and collected 4 RBI. 9/19/3008 - Having slumped as of recent, Memphis LF Jesus Christ surges forward, increasing his lead in the CL Batting Average race with a 5 for 6 day in Norfolk. Christ singled, doubled twice and homered twice, scoring 4 runs and driving in 8 as Memphis smacks Norfolk around, 18-7. 9/20/3008 - Christianity icon Jesus Christ (.636 / 4 HR / 11 RBI / 1.500 SLG) and Mayan God Hunab Ku (.650 / 5 HR / 10 RBI) win Player of the Week Awards. 9/20/3008 - Seattle RF Siddhartha Guatama hits 3 HRs and drives in 6 runs in Seattle's 13-4 win over Buffalo. 9/21/3008 - Pittsburgh wins the UL Northwest crown. 9/24/3008 - New Orleans wins the UL Southwest crown. 9/27/3008 - Philadelphia RF Tekkeitsertok (.500 / 10 RBI / .571 OBP) and Gadsden 2B Odin (.696 / 7 HR / 15 RBI) win Player of the Week Awards. 9/27/3008 - Hartford wins the CL Southeast crown. 9/28/3008 - Houston wins the CL Northeast crown. 10/1/3008 - El Paso LF A Thetan (.531 / 16 HR / 40 RBI) and Norse Father God Odin (.528 / 20 HR / 40 RBI) win Batter of the Month Awards. 10/3/3008 - Stockton wins the UL West crown. 10/4/3008 - El Paso's A Thetan (.611 / 6 HR / 14 RBI) and Pittsburgh's Ometeotl (.563 / 10 RBI / .611 OBP) head into the playoffs with some momentum as they win the last of 3008's Player of the Week Awards. CL Deity BA Leader: Jesus Christ .489 (+.012 over Bondje) CL Deity HR Leader: Jesus Christ 100 (+13 over A Thetan) CL Deity RBI Leader: Jesus Christ 242 (+25 over A Thetan) CL Deity SB Leader: Satan/Khonvoum 92 (+2 over Jesus Christ) UL Deity BA Leader: Odin .515 (+.016 over Guru Nahak) UL Deity HR Leader: Hunab Ku 100 (+2 over Guru Nahak) UL Deity RBI Leader: Vishnu 231 (+13 over Odin) UL Deity SB Leader: Siddhartha Guatama 98 (+11 over Hunab Ku / Zeus) Deity Career HR Leaderboard 1.) Vishnu 458 2.) Odin 447 3.) Hunab Ku 446 4.) Jesus Christ 439 5.) Guru Nahak 434 6.) uKqili 431 6.) Ometeotl 431 8.) Altjira 428 9.) Ra 420 10.) Siddhartha Guatama 415 |
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#129 (permalink) |
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Minors (Double A)
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 116
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October 13th, 3008
Opening Round Results Hartford (Bondje) def. Memphis (Christ) 3-0 Houston (Thetan) def. Oklahoma City (Apsu) 3-1 New Orleans (Nahak) def. Seattle (Guatama) 3-2 Pittsburgh (Ometeotl) def. Stockton (Ku) 3-0 In the Harford-Memphis series, Memphis kept two of the three games close, but the little payroll that could couldn't conquer the Hartford squad. Hartford won Games 1 and 2 by scores of 4-3 and 17-4. Game 3, in Memphis, went down to the wire as Hartford scored a run in the top of the 9th to tie the game and send it to extra innings. In the top of the 10th, Bondje scored the winning run on an RBI double from mortal Charles Melton to seal the series with the 3-2 win. Memphis managed only one HR during the 3 game series, a solo shot in the 4th inning of Game 1, which is a testament to Hartford's playoff rotation. Every silver lining has its cloud - Houston easily won Games 1 and 2 of the series with scores of 5-2 and 4-1, but while sliding into 2nd base for a double in the bottom of the 8th inning of Game 3, A Thetan injured his abdomen and had to leave the game. Thetan was taken to a local hospital where doctors diagnosed a Strained Abdominal Muscle which will sideline the Scientology icon for a week. "I think that's what the problem is," noted Chief Physician Steven Franklin, "But it's an alien physiology. For all I know, what I think are his lungs could be his gonads or something. I tried to ask Mr. Thetan about his species' biology, but he said that answers would only be given if I donated several thousand dollars to his religion..." Oklahoma City won game 3, 13-9, and Houston managed to win Game 4, 5-4, without their deity but they now have to face a Hartford squad which easily dispatched Memphis in a sweep. Hartford is the heaviest favorite in playoff history amongst gamblers, as they are a 1-5 favorite to win the series and are getting 3-1 odds on sweeping this series as well. The New Orleans - Seattle series promised to be a good one and it delivered, stretching the full 5 games. Seattle won Games 1 and 2 in New Orleans and New Orleans won Games 3 and 4 in Seattle. In Game 5, New Orleans actually cashed in on home field advantage to win the series and advance to the next round. It was the first playoff experience for Siddhartha Guatama and it showed as the deity performed very poorly in the 5 game series. New Orleans wins the series with final scores of 3-8, 3-5, 10-1, 16-6 and 10-5 as New Orleans' offense sprang to life after dropping the first two games at home. "I feel Guatama's pain," Guru Nahak told reporters after the game, "My first trip to the playoffs last year I hit .182...it can be a little intimidating at first, but then you get used to it. I am sure Guatama will be back and he will do much better. Unless he plays us again...in which case, we'll smoke his ass." Hunab Ku played well in his first post-season experience, but Pittsburgh rolls through them with little trouble to advance to play New Orleans in Round 2. Stockton had a 2-1 lead heading into the bottom of the 9th in Game 1, but Pittsburgh's mortal 21 year-old 1B Lance Davis clobbers a 2-run blast down the left field line to win the game 3-2. Stockton just seemed deflated the rest of the series and dropped Games 2 and 3 by scores of 7-3 and 11-8. Championship Series Matchups Hartford (Bondje) vs. Houston (Thetan) - A Thetan's injury will have him back on the field in 5 days, just in time for Game 3 in Houston. So, if Houston can find some way to steal a game or two in Hartford, they could surprise some people. However, even with a healthy Thetan, Houston's chances of winning this series are very slim as they are outmatched by this Hartford squad. New Orleans (Nahak) vs. Pittsburgh (Ometeotl) - These teams are pretty evenly matched. Pittsburgh hits for average very well with little power while New Orleans hits with power with a lower average. New Orleans has the better pitching staff, however, and New Orleans is slightly favored to win this series. Deity Postseason Stats Bondje (.462 / 2 HR / 5 RBI) Jesus Christ (.444 / 0 HR / 1 RBI) A Thetan (.545 / 1 HR / 3 RBI) Apsu (.500 / 3 HR / 6 RBI) Guru Nahak (.500 / 1 HR / 3 RBI) Siddhartha Guatama (.235 / 2 HR / 3 RBI) Ometeotl (.538 / 2 HR / 6 RBI) Hunab Ku (.545 / 2 HR / 3 RBI) |
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#130 (permalink) |
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Minors (Double A)
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 116
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October 20th, 3008
Championship Series Results Hartford (Bondje) def. Houston (Thetan) 4-1 New Orleans (Guru Nahak) def. Pittsburgh (Ometeotl) 4-0 In the CLCS, Houston managed to stun Hartford in Game 1, winning by an impressive score of 8-2, but Hartford lowered the boom after that, winning the next 4 straight games with scores of 5-4, 10-6, 3-0 and 14-3. A Thetan never fully recovered from his abdominal injury and was used only twice in the series as a pinch hitter in Games 4 and 5. "I attempted to receive a shipment of healing crystals from homeworld," explained Thetan following the Game 5 loss, "But the ship encountered something strange near Sigma 957 and the crystals were also held up by customs at the Io transfer point. I did my best to play through the pain, but when you have a sprained Jak't'huu Filament Cluster, there's only so much you can do..." In the ULCS, Pittsburgh kept all of the games close, but didn't have the skills or desire to pull them out as they get swept by a Guru Nahak-led New Orleans squad 5-3, 3-1, 6-3 and 7-5. "We just couldn't catch any breaks," began Pittsburgh deity Ometeotl, who was caught stealing 5 times during his 7 post-season games, "The wind carried their balls out of reach and carried ours back into the park...I was so angry, I vaporized all of the local weathermen...I apologize to their families. I know they had nothing to do with it, but when I get angry, I just can't think straight." So, the World Series will come down to a Bondje-led Hartford squad against a Guru Nahak-led New Orleans team. "We were there in 3005 and lost, so I look forward to finishing what we could not finish last time," yelled the Voodoo deity at a pep rally in the parking lot of Hartford's ESPN2Zone, "I have my Nahak doll all dressed up and ready to be stabbed should things not go our way right from the beginning. I have drank a special potion made of many rare and hard-to-get items which has the strength of 10 deities pouring through my veins. All who stand in our way will be dispatched." "We're going to make Bondje and the rest of those Hartford punks...*Sikh* to their stomachs!" joked Guru Nahak at New Orleans' pep rally right next to the monument which marks the spot where Jim Haslett was lynched in 2004. "You see, it's funny because it sounds like 'sick' but actually has a different meaning. Is this thing on? Screw you guys, man, that's funny on, like, two different levels..." Since not finding his lame joke funny, every member of the crowd has been diagnosed with urinary tract infections. The gambling lines have been swaying back and forth and have settled on New Orleans as slight favorites for the series win. It should be a great series regardless as these teams are very closely matched, with Hartford having a slight edge in offense and New Orleans having a slightly larger edge in pitching. Deity Postseason Stats Bondje (.429 / 5 HR / 15 RBI) Thetan (.500 / 1 HR / 3 RBI) Nahak (.556 / 3 HR / 10 RBI) Ometeotl (.407 / 3 HR / 7 RBI) |
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#131 (permalink) |
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Minors (Double A)
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 116
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3008 DCL WORLD SERIES
Game 1 - A slugfest breaks out in New Orleans as the two teams combine for 38 runs on 42 hits. A 9-run 7th inning for Hartford ensures their win as they take Game 1 on the road, 16-12. In the 7th, Bondje was 2 for 2 with a 2-run HR and a 2-run triple. Bondje finished the game 3 for 6 with a triple and 2 HRs, 3 runs scored and 5 RBI. Guru Nahak was held relatively quiet for New Orleans, finishing 2 for 4 with 2 doubles, 1 run scored and a walk. Game 2 - Two key Hartford errors lead to 3 unearned runs for New Orleans as they win Game 2 at home, 4-2. The deities were held in check as Bondje manages only a single in 4 ABs and Nahak goes 1 for 2 with a triple, 2 walks and a run scored. Game 3 - Heading to Hartford with the series tied 1-1, New Orleans shuts down Bondje and wins the game 5-2. Nahak was 2 for 5 with a single, a solo HR, a run scored, 2 RBI and a stolen base. Bondje was 1 for 4 with a double and was caught stealing. Game 4 - Game 4 was huge for Hartford as they would either tie the series at 2 games a piece or fall into a 3-1 hole. Guru Nahak was 4 for 4 with 4 singles, 2 runs scored, 1 RBI, 1 walk and 2 stolen bases on the day as he raises his 3008 post-season batting average to a very impressive .569. Bondje was held to 1 for 4 again, but his one hit was a solo shot in the bottom of the 9th to send the game to extra innings. In the bottom of the 10th, Hartford mortals managed to scrape out a run to win the game and even the series at 2-2. Game 5 - The last game in Hartford sees the hometown team rally late, but not enough as they fall to New Orleans 6-4 putting them one loss away from elimination. Bondje continued to struggle mightily from the plate, this time posting an 0-5, dropping his post-season average to .362. Following Bondje's game-ending ground out to the shortstop, a smattering of boos could be heard from the stands. Bondje threw down his batting helmet and sprinkled some dust out of a pouch hanging from his belt and a zombie Jimmy Hoffa punched his way out from underneath the pitcher's mound. The booing stopped immediately. Guru Nahak was 1 for 3 from the plate with a 2 RBI triple, a run scored, a walk and was caught stealing. Game 6 - Back in New Orleans, Hartford jumped out of the gate quickly, scoring two on a 2-run HR in the top of the 1st from slumping deity Bondje. That would be Bondje's only hit in 4 at-bats and those would be Hartford's only runs as New Orleans wins the World Series at home, 4-2. Nahak was held to 1 for 3 with a walk on the day, but his .544 / 4 HR / 15 RBI was more than enough to earn him the Post-Season MVP Award. After mortal Hartford 3B Charles Melton grounded out to 2B to end the game, Guru Nahak tossed his catcher's mask high into the air and bear-hugged Closer Henry Johnson, breaking 4 of his ribs. Johnson will be fine by Spring Training. "This is fantastic!" exclaimed Guru Nahak, accepting the Post-Season MVP Trophy, "I tell you, this Hartford team was tough. They have a great squad and we were fortunate that our pitching staff was able to shut Bondje down. This wasn't an easy series...it was the Big Easy's Series! ...I don't hear any laughing..." At which point the room erupted in forced laughter to appease the deity's burgeoning sense of humor. "It stinks, man," confessed a dejected Bondje in the Hartford locker room, "We worked real hard all season and all through the off-season and we thought we had something special. I don't know what the problem is...I mean all the spells and potions...nothing. I mean, it's certainly making my HRs consistent, I've hit 9 HRs every single post-season, but my average...from .604 to .605 to .355? That makes no sense to me. I apologize for threatening our fans in Hartford with that 'raising of the dead' thing...I was hurt by their booing and lashed out a little bit. The fans have been great, they were just as frustrated as we were." So, Guru Nahak fares much better than his first trip to the playoffs, where he hit .182 with no HRs or RBI and was swept in the first round. Bondje's power numbers were excellent again, but his average plummeted and took his Hartford teammates with it. It will be interesting to see how the Hartford front office reacts to the loss - their payroll was the highest in the league, but with raising their ticket prices to $12 and the playoff revenue, they pulled down a $6 million dollar profit. However, New Orleans' payroll was almost $30 million less and they showed a much higher profit. Will Hartford go Steinbrenner and raise salary or try and field a discount winner? Deity Postseason Stats Guru Nahak (.544 / 4 HR / 15 RBI) Bondje (.355 / 9 HR / 23 RBI) |
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#132 (permalink) |
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Minors (Double A)
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 116
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3008 DEITY AWARDS + CAREER STATS (1 of 2)
World Series Trophy - Guru Nahak Post-Season MVP Award - Guru Nahak Continental League MVP - Jesus Christ (Triple Crown) United League MVP - Odin (2) All-Star Game MVP - Odin Continental League Golden Gloves Catcher - Awonawilona (4) First Base - uKqili (2) Left Field - Jesus Christ (2) Center Field - Satan (3) Right Field - Tekkeitsertok (2) United League Golden Gloves Catcher - Enlil First Base - Ra (4) Third Base - Hunab Ku (3) Left Field - Zeus (3) Center Field - Siddhartha Guatama Abraham Career Stats (Judaism) (10 PotWs / 2 BotM / 1 World Series Champ.) League MVP: none Triple Crown: none World Series MVP: 3007 All-Star MVP: none Gold Gloves: 3005,3006,3007 Code:
Year G AB H 2B 3B HR RBI R BB HP SF K SB CS AVG OBP SLG OPS Teams 3004 154 548 238 55 13 81 199 184 105 0 0 8 91 19 .434 .525 1.026 1.551 CHA,CL 3005 157 556 235 48 16 71 162 192 110 0 0 10 73 15 .423 .518 .950 1.468 CHA,CL 3006 158 564 239 59 20 83 231 201 131 0 5 6 63 23 .424 .529 1.041 1.569 CHA,CL 3007 154 560 228 56 15 67 180 184 105 0 7 5 80 15 .407 .496 .920 1.415 CHA,CL 3008 154 547 237 71 15 80 196 201 129 0 4 6 79 11 .433 .538 1.057 1.595 CHA,CL ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Total 777 2775 1177 289 79 382 968 962 580 0 16 35 386 83 .424 .521 .998 1.519 (11 PotWs / 3 BotM / 1 World Series Champ.) League MVP: 3005 Triple Crown: none World Series MVP: 3006 All-Star MVP: none Gold Gloves: 3004,3005,3007 Code:
Year G AB H 2B 3B HR RBI R BB HP SF K SB CS AVG OBP SLG OPS Teams 3004 146 491 234 42 17 76 176 167 111 0 0 8 74 26 .477 .573 1.096 1.669 LEW,UL 3005 151 516 256 41 19 92 214 186 107 0 0 10 77 22 .496 .583 1.184 1.767 LEW,UL 3006 150 529 252 47 22 88 211 205 126 0 2 11 84 24 .476 .575 1.147 1.723 LEW,UL 3007 149 519 241 45 17 89 215 209 117 0 5 12 81 21 .464 .559 1.131 1.690 LEW,UL 3008 154 498 227 46 22 83 199 195 120 0 2 3 70 20 .456 .560 1.137 1.696 LEW,UL ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Total 750 2553 1210 221 97 428 1015 962 581 0 9 44 386 113 .474 .570 1.139 1.709 (8 PotWs / 2 BotM / 0 World Series Champ.) League MVP: 3006 Triple Crown: 3006 World Series MVP: none All-Star MVP: none Gold Gloves: none Code:
Year G AB H 2B 3B HR RBI R BB HP SF K SB CS AVG OBP SLG OPS Teams 3004 157 526 242 50 15 80 182 203 115 0 0 5 84 14 .460 .557 1.068 1.625 EP,UL 3005 159 538 224 47 24 63 153 178 118 0 0 5 79 24 .416 .521 .944 1.466 EP,UL 3006 156 557 291 70 24 95 229 231 119 0 2 10 79 17 .522 .605 1.246 1.851 EP,UL 3007 151 518 221 45 9 81 176 195 117 0 5 10 93 16 .427 .528 1.017 1.545 EP,UL 3008 157 533 236 49 25 74 178 184 127 0 5 10 84 12 .443 .546 1.045 1.591 EP,UL ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Total 780 2672 1214 261 97 393 918 991 596 0 12 40 419 83 .454 .552 1.066 1.618 (9 PotWs / 1 BotM / 0 World Series Champ.) League MVP: none Triple Crown: none World Series MVP: none All-Star MVP: none Gold Gloves: none Code:
Year G AB H 2B 3B HR RBI R BB HP SF K SB CS AVG OBP SLG OPS Teams 3004 144 480 230 47 16 80 179 188 126 0 0 4 75 17 .479 .587 1.144 1.731 OC,CL 3005 157 546 247 56 13 90 185 198 112 0 0 11 79 23 .452 .546 1.097 1.643 OC,CL 3006 121 431 198 45 17 61 161 152 100 0 2 7 63 16 .459 .559 1.067 1.626 OC,CL 3007 153 549 240 46 11 89 214 198 126 0 2 9 69 21 .437 .541 1.047 1.588 OC,CL 3008 157 523 212 49 17 63 167 172 135 0 3 13 83 15 .405 .525 .925 1.450 OC,CL ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Total 732 2529 1127 243 74 383 906 908 599 0 7 44 369 92 .446 .551 1.055 1.605 (10 PotWs / 2 BotM / 0 World Series Champ.) League MVP: none Triple Crown: none World Series MVP: none All-Star MVP: none Gold Gloves: 3004,3006,3007,3008 Code:
Year G AB H 2B 3B HR RBI R BB HP SF K SB CS AVG OBP SLG OPS Teams 3004 147 502 208 45 16 74 175 168 98 0 0 13 54 15 .414 .510 1.010 1.520 NY,CL 3005 132 457 196 42 13 68 160 159 88 0 0 10 63 17 .429 .521 1.024 1.545 NY 3006 152 501 231 36 16 83 204 192 110 0 6 11 75 16 .461 .553 1.094 1.646 NY,CL 3007 150 515 233 46 15 90 219 220 117 0 4 11 75 22 .452 .550 1.124 1.675 NY,CL 3008 147 502 234 56 16 66 185 205 129 0 2 6 74 12 .466 .573 1.036 1.609 NY,CL ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Total 728 2477 1102 225 76 381 943 944 542 0 12 51 341 82 .445 .542 1.059 1.601 (17 PotWs / 4 BotM / 0 World Series Champ.) League MVP: 3006 Triple Crown: none World Series MVP: none All-Star MVP: none Gold Gloves: none Code:
Year G AB H 2B 3B HR RBI R BB HP SF K SB CS AVG OBP SLG OPS Teams 3004 154 562 271 72 22 81 181 210 114 0 0 9 102 28 .482 .570 1.121 1.691 HAR,CL 3005 156 527 247 63 19 68 179 204 143 0 0 8 85 25 .469 .582 1.047 1.630 HAR,CL 3006 153 530 269 62 22 87 202 197 126 0 1 4 73 24 .508 .601 1.200 1.801 HAR,CL 3007 160 549 263 61 16 80 212 211 130 0 5 5 85 17 .479 .575 1.086 1.660 HAR,CL 3008 152 553 264 64 19 81 210 216 128 0 7 4 86 12 .477 .570 1.101 1.671 HAR,CL ---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Total 775 2721 1314 322 98 397 984 1038 641 0 13 30 431 106 .483 .579 1.111 1.690 (13 PotWs / 3 BotM / 0 World Series Champ.) League MVP: 3008 Triple Crown: 3008 World Series MVP: none All-Star MVP: 3005 Gold Gloves: 3006,3008 Code:
Year G AB H 2B 3B HR RBI R BB HP SF K SB CS AVG OBP SLG OPS Teams 3004 157 552 249 56 18 85 192 193 109 0 0 13 77 22 .451 .542 1.080 1.621 MEM,CL 3005 143 487 218 53 17 74 183 190 134 0 0 6 68 23 .448 .567 1.082 1.649 MEM,CL 3006 156 565 242 46 16 91 206 193 118 0 5 8 95 21 .428 .523 1.050 1.573 MEM,CL 3007 155 553 258 61 25 89 230 200 118 0 4 9 70 24 .467 .557 1.150 1.707 MEM,CL 3008 157 569 278 57 14 100 242 205 113 0 6 8 90 16 .489 .568 1.165 1.734 MEM,CL ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Total 768 2726 1245 273 90 439 1053 981 592 0 15 44 400 106 .457 .551 1.106 1.657 (8 PotWs / 2 BotM / 0 World Series Champ.) League MVP: 3007 Triple Crown: none World Series MVP: none All-Star MVP: none Gold Gloves: 3007 Code:
Year G AB H 2B 3B HR RBI R BB HP SF K SB CS AVG OBP SLG OPS Teams 3004 144 498 233 63 17 62 154 192 113 0 0 16 77 18 .468 .566 1.036 1.602 PHO,CL 3005 156 551 227 50 14 76 188 185 121 0 0 13 83 16 .412 .518 .967 1.485 PHO,CL 3006 156 537 235 62 21 81 181 190 113 0 2 7 78 18 .438 .534 1.084 1.618 PHO,CL 3007 157 578 259 55 19 103 235 217 120 0 3 13 81 11 .448 .541 1.144 1.684 PHO,CL 3008 156 565 238 69 19 77 204 186 109 0 3 3 71 14 .421 .513 1.019 1.532 PHO,CL ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Total 769 2729 1192 299 90 399 962 970 576 0 8 52 390 77 .437 .534 1.051 1.585 (11 PotWs / 1 BotM / 1 World Series Champ.) League MVP: none Triple Crown: none World Series MVP: 3005 All-Star MVP: none Gold Gloves: 3008 Code:
Year G AB H 2B 3B HR RBI R BB HP SF K SB CS AVG OBP SLG OPS Teams 3004 156 489 233 46 21 78 171 192 127 0 0 7 80 17 .476 .584 1.135 1.719 CLE 3005 150 490 224 51 17 70 188 187 133 0 0 7 88 21 .457 .573 1.059 1.632 CLE 3006 153 486 213 50 22 74 201 177 108 0 3 6 77 15 .438 .538 1.088 1.626 CLE 3007 151 467 213 51 11 72 161 167 120 0 3 4 72 24 .456 .564 1.075 1.639 CLE 3008 155 482 218 59 14 71 185 174 126 0 8 5 80 24 .452 .558 1.075 1.633 CLE ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Total 765 2414 1101 257 85 365 906 897 614 0 14 29 397 101 .456 .564 1.087 1.650 (9 PotWs / 5 BotM / 0 World Series Champ.) League MVP: 3005 Triple Crown: 3005 World Series MVP: none All-Star MVP: none Gold Gloves: 3008 Code:
Year G AB H 2B 3B HR RBI R BB HP SF K SB CS AVG OBP SLG OPS Teams 3004 157 538 245 54 14 76 177 192 129 0 0 14 98 22 .455 .561 1.032 1.592 CHI 3005 157 547 267 62 27 90 211 214 123 0 0 7 84 19 .488 .582 1.194 1.776 CHI,CL 3006 155 537 255 55 10 90 214 216 134 0 3 10 95 17 .475 .577 1.117 1.694 CHI,CL 3007 157 554 227 45 14 84 196 178 133 0 4 17 70 18 .410 .521 .996 1.517 CHI,CL 3008 156 544 248 47 15 75 188 191 123 0 4 13 98 21 .456 .553 1.011 1.564 CHI,SEA,UL ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Total 782 2720 1242 263 80 415 986 991 642 0 11 61 445 97 .457 .559 1.070 1.628 (3 PotWs / 1 BotM / 0 World Series Champ.) League MVP: none Triple Crown: none World Series MVP: none All-Star MVP: none Gold Gloves: 3006 Code:
Year G AB H 2B 3B HR RBI R BB HP SF K SB CS AVG OBP SLG OPS Teams 3004 150 501 227 50 19 67 152 177 128 0 0 8 79 28 .453 .564 1.030 1.594 CIN,UL 3005 154 504 222 58 17 77 177 181 122 0 0 7 68 16 .440 .550 1.081 1.631 CIN,UL 3006 144 498 223 64 20 77 195 185 115 0 6 8 75 17 .448 .546 1.120 1.667 CIN 3007 148 477 187 53 18 54 136 157 125 0 2 4 75 7 .392 .517 .918 1.435 CIN 3008 155 514 199 56 10 64 155 145 91 0 5 10 59 11 .387 .475 .909 1.384 CIN ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Total 751 2494 1058 281 84 339 815 845 581 0 13 37 356 79 .424 .531 1.012 1.543 (8 PotWs / 2 BotM / 0 World Series Champ.) League MVP: none Triple Crown: none World Series MVP: none All-Star MVP: none Gold Gloves: none Code:
Year G AB H 2B 3B HR RBI R BB HP SF K SB CS AVG OBP SLG OPS Teams 3004 111 375 183 43 8 64 140 159 95 0 0 1 65 13 .488 .591 1.157 1.749 SEA,UL 3005 155 562 266 58 23 91 201 204 117 0 0 10 85 21 .473 .564 1.144 1.708 SEA,UL 3006 155 535 238 57 14 76 166 196 113 0 1 6 81 20 .445 .541 1.030 1.571 SEA,UL 3007 160 524 213 60 14 81 186 193 126 0 6 7 68 15 .406 .517 1.038 1.555 SEA,UL 3008 155 534 216 47 19 67 163 176 132 0 5 10 92 24 .404 .519 .940 1.459 SEA,CHI,CL ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Total 736 2530 1116 265 78 379 856 928 583 0 12 34 391 93 .441 .544 1.057 1.601 (14 PotWs / 4 BotM / 0 World Series Champ.) League MVP: none Triple Crown: none World Series MVP: none All-Star MVP: none Gold Gloves: 3005,3007,3008 Code:
Year G AB H 2B 3B HR RBI R BB HP SF K SB CS AVG OBP SLG OPS Teams 3004 159 545 277 60 17 87 177 216 127 0 0 12 97 26 .508 .601 1.160 1.761 STO,UL 3005 154 538 240 45 18 77 167 201 132 0 0 11 90 20 .446 .555 1.026 1.581 STO,UL 3006 157 547 258 63 13 92 216 203 127 0 8 5 75 21 .472 .565 1.139 1.703 STO,UL 3007 156 525 250 49 16 90 198 210 152 0 7 6 79 26 .476 .588 1.145 1.732 STO,UL 3008 158 560 273 49 11 100 212 217 125 0 1 8 87 25 .487 .580 1.150 1.730 STO,UL --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Total 784 2715 1298 266 75 446 970 1047 663 0 16 42 428 118 .478 .578 1.124 1.702 |
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#133 (permalink) |
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Minors (Double A)
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 116
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DEITY CAREER STATS (2 of 2)
Mohammed's Career Stats (Islam) (2 PotWs / 1 BotM / 1 World Series Champ.) League MVP: none Triple Crown: none World Series MVP: 3004 All-Star MVP: none Gold Gloves: 3004,3005 Code:
Year G AB H 2B 3B HR RBI R BB HP SF K SB CS AVG OBP SLG OPS Teams 3004 159 547 244 56 19 87 216 213 122 0 0 14 90 25 .446 .547 1.095 1.642 BUF,UL 3005 156 556 238 62 19 85 184 188 109 0 0 8 76 19 .428 .522 1.067 1.588 BUF,UL 3006 157 555 235 42 23 84 184 182 111 0 5 11 60 20 .423 .516 1.036 1.552 BUF,UL 3007 159 562 236 53 16 81 198 183 110 0 3 5 70 19 .420 .513 1.004 1.516 BUF,UL 3008 158 559 226 56 15 67 176 158 94 0 4 8 69 17 .404 .487 .918 1.405 BUF,UL ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Total 789 2779 1179 269 92 404 958 924 546 0 12 46 365 100 .424 .517 1.023 1.540 (10 PotWs / 3 BotM / 1 World Series Champ.) League MVP: 3007 Triple Crown: 3007 World Series MVP: 3008 All-Star MVP: none Gold Gloves: none Code:
Year G AB H 2B 3B HR RBI R BB HP SF K SB CS AVG OBP SLG OPS Teams 3004 152 501 205 49 14 68 153 175 115 0 0 7 89 12 .409 .519 .970 1.490 NO 3005 150 491 220 46 14 80 178 181 132 0 0 7 90 19 .448 .565 1.088 1.653 NO 3006 151 515 239 53 11 88 202 173 106 0 5 13 69 19 .464 .551 1.122 1.673 NO,UL 3007 152 523 255 55 24 100 224 222 114 0 4 10 78 14 .488 .576 1.258 1.834 NO,UL 3008 153 503 246 51 20 98 197 216 130 0 2 6 86 22 .489 .592 1.254 1.847 NO,UL ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Total 758 2533 1165 254 83 434 954 967 597 0 11 43 412 86 .460 .561 1.140 1.701 (12 PotWs / 5 BotM / 0 World Series Champ.) League MVP: 3004,3008 Triple Crown: none World Series MVP: none All-Star MVP: 3008 Gold Gloves: none Code:
Year G AB H 2B 3B HR RBI R BB HP SF K SB CS AVG OBP SLG OPS Teams 3004 157 547 260 75 14 95 229 207 118 0 0 5 77 12 .475 .568 1.185 1.753 GAD,UL 3005 160 549 267 62 12 89 192 190 120 0 0 7 73 27 .486 .578 1.129 1.708 GAD,UL 3006 154 517 250 55 11 84 180 183 126 0 2 7 59 20 .484 .583 1.120 1.703 GAD,UL 3007 158 544 249 60 22 82 201 192 129 0 5 14 90 30 .458 .558 1.101 1.659 GAD,UL 3008 157 534 275 61 16 97 218 206 121 0 4 9 79 22 .515 .601 1.234 1.835 GAD,UL ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Total 786 2691 1301 313 75 447 1020 978 614 0 11 42 378 111 .483 .578 1.154 1.731 (11 PotWs / 3 BotM / 0 World Series Champ.) League MVP: none Triple Crown: none World Series MVP: none All-Star MVP: none Gold Gloves: 3007 Code:
Year G AB H 2B 3B HR RBI R BB HP SF K SB CS AVG OBP SLG OPS Teams 3004 157 545 265 53 19 95 211 203 120 0 0 8 82 29 .486 .579 1.176 1.755 PIT,UL 3005 157 537 251 67 20 77 187 201 122 0 0 7 74 10 .467 .566 1.097 1.663 PIT,UL 3006 157 549 224 49 17 78 204 213 148 0 5 7 79 19 .408 .530 .985 1.515 PIT,UL 3007 155 554 247 50 20 93 217 218 131 0 4 6 79 27 .446 .549 1.112 1.661 PIT,UL 3008 158 543 250 62 18 88 202 214 138 0 2 7 83 25 .460 .568 1.127 1.695 PIT,UL ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Total 784 2728 1237 281 94 431 1021 1049 659 0 11 35 397 110 .453 .558 1.099 1.657 (9 PotWs / 2 BotM / 0 World Series Champ.) League MVP: none Triple Crown: none World Series MVP: none All-Star MVP: none Gold Gloves: 3005,3006,3007,3008 Code:
Year G AB H 2B 3B HR RBI R BB HP SF K SB CS AVG OBP SLG OPS Teams 3004 155 558 257 58 19 84 193 194 105 0 0 9 78 12 .461 .546 1.084 1.630 RAL,UL 3005 157 535 219 38 20 86 181 191 138 0 0 6 72 19 .409 .530 1.037 1.568 RAL,UL 3006 155 552 265 67 23 91 199 225 129 0 3 9 80 16 .480 .576 1.179 1.755 RAL,UL 3007 156 534 244 56 12 81 198 200 142 0 7 4 100 28 .457 .565 1.062 1.627 RAL,UL 3008 157 548 216 50 14 78 206 181 122 0 7 12 70 22 .394 .499 .964 1.463 RAL,UL ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Total 780 2727 1201 269 88 420 977 991 636 0 17 40 400 97 .440 .543 1.066 1.609 (9 PotWs / 1 BotM / 0 World Series Champ.) League MVP: none Triple Crown: none World Series MVP: none All-Star MVP: 3006 Gold Gloves: 3004,3007,3008 Code:
Year G AB H 2B 3B HR RBI R BB HP SF K SB CS AVG OBP SLG OPS Teams 3004 156 555 247 58 16 77 169 204 116 0 0 5 82 16 .445 .541 1.023 1.564 ORL,CL 3005 157 547 243 57 14 85 184 204 107 0 0 8 70 18 .444 .535 1.066 1.601 ORL,CL 3006 153 532 233 58 23 70 148 194 127 0 3 10 89 16 .438 .544 1.028 1.572 ORL,CL 3007 157 556 234 67 20 74 194 170 125 0 4 14 67 18 .421 .524 1.013 1.537 ORL,CL 3008 156 512 218 47 13 79 194 197 149 0 8 5 92 20 .426 .549 1.031 1.580 ORL,CL ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Total 779 2702 1175 287 86 385 889 969 624 0 15 42 400 88 .435 .538 1.032 1.571 (8 PotWs / 3 BotM / 0 World Series Champ.) League MVP: none Triple Crown: none World Series MVP: none All-Star MVP: 3004 Gold Gloves: 3007,3008 Code:
Year G AB H 2B 3B HR RBI R BB HP SF K SB CS AVG OBP SLG OPS Teams 3004 157 560 272 69 16 81 188 212 122 0 0 8 77 20 .486 .578 1.100 1.678 PHI,CL 3005 155 541 235 61 12 77 188 177 129 0 0 6 66 16 .434 .543 1.018 1.562 PHI,CL 3006 152 521 223 61 23 69 190 173 107 0 8 7 73 12 .428 .519 1.031 1.550 PHI,CL 3007 152 557 227 67 26 59 169 182 128 0 2 8 71 20 .408 .517 .939 1.456 PHI,CL 3008 155 559 235 51 13 79 195 195 130 0 8 8 65 16 .420 .524 .982 1.506 PHI,CL ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Total 771 2738 1192 309 90 365 930 939 616 0 18 37 352 84 .435 .536 1.014 1.550 (6 PotWs / 2 BotM / 0 World Series Champ.) League MVP: none Triple Crown: none World Series MVP: none All-Star MVP: none Gold Gloves: none Code:
Year G AB H 2B 3B HR RBI R BB HP SF K SB CS AVG OBP SLG OPS Teams 3004 153 541 243 55 19 76 168 187 127 0 0 9 99 25 .449 .554 1.043 1.596 HOU 3005 156 540 239 54 18 79 176 183 122 0 0 6 82 19 .443 .545 1.048 1.593 HOU,CL 3006 155 523 260 61 19 78 188 204 140 0 4 8 74 22 .497 .600 1.134 1.734 HOU,CL 3007 155 512 238 43 21 70 177 176 134 0 1 8 94 27 .465 .575 1.041 1.616 HOU,CL 3008 154 535 252 54 16 87 217 212 146 0 5 8 85 18 .471 .580 1.120 1.700 HOU,CL ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Total 773 2651 1232 267 93 390 926 962 669 0 10 39 434 111 .465 .571 1.077 1.648 (9 PotWs / 0 BotM / 0 World Series Champ.) League MVP: none Triple Crown: none World Series MVP: none All-Star MVP: none Gold Gloves: none Code:
Year G AB H 2B 3B HR RBI R BB HP SF K SB CS AVG OBP SLG OPS Teams 3004 159 541 274 66 21 73 170 202 126 0 0 15 98 28 .506 .600 1.111 1.711 GRE,UL 3005 156 535 245 58 21 75 181 205 139 0 0 8 69 20 .458 .570 1.065 1.635 GRE,UL 3006 157 557 254 55 16 88 198 213 126 0 3 6 82 18 .456 .554 1.086 1.640 GRE,UL 3007 158 569 230 55 17 80 178 194 120 0 2 6 67 20 .404 .507 .982 1.489 GRE,UL 3008 154 539 220 69 14 61 162 177 132 0 2 10 85 20 .408 .523 .928 1.451 GRE,UL ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Total 784 2741 1223 303 89 377 889 991 643 0 7 45 401 106 .446 .550 1.034 1.585 (11 PotWs / 3 BotM / 0 World Series Champ.) League MVP: 3004 Triple Crown: 3004 World Series MVP: none All-Star MVP: none Gold Gloves: 3004,3008 Code:
Year G AB H 2B 3B HR RBI R BB HP SF K SB CS AVG OBP SLG OPS Teams 3004 157 564 274 55 17 94 207 228 119 0 0 9 78 19 .486 .575 1.144 1.719 NOR,CL 3005 157 542 260 54 17 90 197 225 148 0 0 10 83 20 .480 .591 1.140 1.732 NOR,CL 3006 160 536 231 54 16 87 196 198 136 0 7 10 84 24 .431 .541 1.078 1.619 NOR,CL 3007 157 537 251 61 17 82 216 200 121 0 5 13 96 20 .467 .561 1.102 1.664 NOR,CL 3008 156 549 227 40 18 78 195 182 129 0 3 12 81 17 .413 .523 .978 1.501 NOR,CL ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Total 787 2728 1243 264 85 431 1011 1033 653 0 15 54 422 100 .456 .558 1.089 1.647 (13 PotWs / 0 BotM / 0 World Series Champ.) League MVP: none Triple Crown: none World Series MVP: none All-Star MVP: none Gold Gloves: 3005 Code:
Year G AB H 2B 3B HR RBI R BB HP SF K SB CS AVG OBP SLG OPS Teams 3004 153 504 233 58 24 67 174 182 106 0 0 7 64 16 .462 .556 1.071 1.627 ATL,CL 3005 151 491 234 56 11 74 169 182 99 0 0 9 72 19 .477 .564 1.088 1.652 ATL,CL 3006 151 494 226 43 9 80 169 173 97 0 4 8 76 23 .457 .543 1.067 1.610 ATL,CL 3007 151 501 217 46 19 70 169 173 123 1 4 9 70 30 .433 .542 1.020 1.562 ATL,CL 3008 152 480 224 53 19 81 190 187 130 1 4 11 76 22 .467 .577 1.163 1.740 ATL,CL ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Total 758 2470 1134 256 82 372 871 897 555 2 12 44 358 110 .459 .556 1.081 1.637 (12 PotWs / 3 BotM / 0 World Series Champ.) League MVP: none Triple Crown: none World Series MVP: none All-Star MVP: 3007 Gold Gloves: 3004,3006 Code:
Year G AB H 2B 3B HR RBI R BB HP SF K SB CS AVG OBP SLG OPS Teams 3004 158 544 255 57 22 80 202 207 133 0 0 8 97 20 .469 .573 1.096 1.669 COL,UL 3005 156 568 263 55 19 92 219 230 128 0 0 6 86 19 .463 .562 1.113 1.674 COL,UL 3006 155 564 290 64 30 91 222 248 141 0 2 4 83 13 .514 .610 1.218 1.828 COL,UL 3007 157 542 255 60 23 100 223 200 148 0 1 8 69 25 .470 .583 1.220 1.803 COL,UL 3008 156 537 240 44 20 95 231 217 148 0 6 8 70 20 .447 .562 1.134 1.696 COL,UL ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Total 782 2755 1303 280 114 458 1097 1102 698 0 9 34 405 97 .473 .578 1.156 1.734 (7 PotWs / 2 BotM / 0 World Series Champ.) League MVP: none Triple Crown: none World Series MVP: none All-Star MVP: none Gold Gloves: 3004,3007,3008 Code:
Year G AB H 2B 3B HR RBI R BB HP SF K SB CS AVG OBP SLG OPS Teams 3004 156 564 256 59 25 74 195 212 149 0 0 6 80 25 .454 .568 1.041 1.609 LR,UL 3005 153 547 255 56 20 87 211 230 142 0 0 18 83 23 .466 .576 1.119 1.695 LR,UL 3006 154 547 225 45 14 72 162 180 118 0 5 11 60 25 .411 .512 .940 1.452 LR,UL 3007 156 549 246 61 22 64 171 191 120 0 4 12 82 13 .448 .544 .989 1.533 LR,UL 3008 157 551 215 58 12 58 147 168 110 0 4 11 87 14 .390 .489 .855 1.344 LR,UL ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Total 776 2758 1197 279 93 355 886 981 639 0 13 58 392 100 .434 .538 .989 1.527 |
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#134 (permalink) |
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Minors (Double A)
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 116
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January 31st, 3009
HOU:A Thetan gets a new one-year contract worth $11,421,429 through salary arbitration. PHI:Tekkeitsertok gets a new one-year contract worth $16,720,000 through salary arbitration. ATL:Viracocha gets a new one-year contract worth $10,907,143 through salary arbitration. NY:Awonawilona gets a new one-year contract worth $10,907,143 through salary arbitration. MEM:Jesus Christ gets a new one-year contract worth $11,421,429 through salary arbitration. CHA:Abraham gets a new one-year contract worth $10,385,714 through salary arbitration. NOR:uKqili gets a new one-year contract worth $16,720,000 through salary arbitration. PHO:Confucius gets a new one-year contract worth $16,720,000 through salary arbitration. HAR:Bondje gets a new one-year contract worth $16,720,000 through salary arbitration. CHI:Khonvoum gets a new one-year contract worth $10,907,143 through salary arbitration. ORL:Satan gets a new one-year contract worth $10,907,143 through salary arbitration. OC:Apsu gets a new one-year contract worth $10,385,714 through salary arbitration. CIN:Jupiter gets a new one-year contract worth $16,720,000 through salary arbitration. EP:Anu gets a new one-year contract worth $11,942,857 through salary arbitration. PIT:Ometeotl gets a new one-year contract worth $16,720,000 through salary arbitration. GRE:Lao Tzu gets a new one-year contract worth $16,720,000 through salary arbitration. COL:Vishnu gets a new one-year contract worth $16,720,000 through salary arbitration. CLE:Enlil gets a new one-year contract worth $16,720,000 through salary arbitration. STO:Hunab Ku gets a new one-year contract worth $16,720,000 through salary arbitration. LR:Zeus gets a new one-year contract worth $10,385,714 through salary arbitration. SEA:Siddhartha Guatama gets a new one-year contract worth $16,720,000 through salary arbitration. NO:Guru Nahak gets a new one-year contract worth $16,720,000 through salary arbitration. BUF:Mohammed gets a new one-year contract worth $16,720,000 through salary arbitration. LEW:Altjira gets a new one-year contract worth $16,720,000 through salary arbitration. RAL:Ra gets a new one-year contract worth $16,720,000 through salary arbitration. GAD:Odin gets a new one-year contract worth $16,720,000 through salary arbitration. |
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#137 (permalink) |
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Minors (Double A)
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 116
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May 1st, 3009
The 3009 season of the DCL is off and running! This should be a very interesting season as a vast majority of our deities will most likely be free agents after the season, barring any major injuries which land them on the DL and stop their Service Days clocks. We'll see if any of our deities jump up with unprecedented huge years to try and make a little extra coin on their contracts. Also, it will be interesting to see if any teams out of contention trade away their deities to the highest bidder. Monthly Highlights 4/5/3009 - A bad start for our CL deities sees Philadelphia's mere mortal LF Brett Lofton take home the Player of the Week Award for his .444 / 11 RBI performance. In the UL, Hunab Ku (.444 / 5 HR / 8 RBI) is awarded the PotW. 4/12/3009 - Voodoo God Bondje (.609 / 11 RBI / .615 OBP) and Lewiston catcher Altjira (.650 / 6 RBI) win Player of the Week Awards in a slow news week. 4/12/3009 - 26 year-old Houston Starting Pitcher James Erb has developed into, arguably, the league's premiere pitcher. Erb showcased his talents beautifully in Houston's 2-0 win over Chicago as he pitches the first PERFECT GAME in league history. Erb faced the absolute minimum 27 batters and ended the game by striking out the side in the bottom of the 9th, driving the home Houston crowd into absolute bedlam. Lost in the shuffle was the excellent pitching of Chicago starter Calvin Correa who pitched the complete game, allowing only 5 hits and 2 unearned runs. A Thetan had a 2-out 2-RBI single for Houston, which was all the offense they would need. "I am so f***ing pissed off right now, I can't even see straight," uttered a noticeably reddened Khonvoum, who was 0 for 3 on the day, "Seriously...I'm not playing around here. Get your microphones out of my face and turn those cameras off before the only thing left of any of you is a fine red mist." James Erb was escorted from the stadium by A Thetan and several National Guard troops out an undisclosed location at an undisclosed time to avoid any retribution from the inflammed Pygmy deity. 4/19/3009 - Memphis LF Jesus Christ (.625 / 10 RBI / .690 OBP) and Seattle RF Siddhartha Guatama (.640 / 13 RBI) win Player of the Week Awards. 4/23/3009 - Gadsden 2B Odin goes 4 for 7 with a double and 3 HRs in Gadsden's 12-9 win over visiting Greensboro. Odin's 3rd and final homerun of the game was a walk-off 3-run blast over the right field wall to win the game. Odin scored 3 runs and drove in 7 on the day. 4/26/3009 - Phoenix 2B Confucius (.619 / 13 RBI / .619 OBP) and Cleveland catcher Enlil (.526 / 6 HR / 14 RBI) win Player of the Week Awards. 5/1/3009 - In a relatively quiet news month, Voodoo deity Bondje (.511 / 16 HR / 32 RBI) and Seattle RF Siddhartha Guatama (.479 / 33 RBI / 1.170 SLG) win Batter of the Month Awards. Deity BA Leader: Bondje .511 Deity HR Leader: Jesus Christ 18 Deity RBI Leader: Odin 39 Deity SB Leader: Vishnu 21 Deity Career Batting Average Leaderboard 1.) Bondje .484 2.) Odin .482 3.) Hunab Ku .478 4.) Altjira .475 5.) Vishnu .471 6.) A Thetan .465 7.) Viracocha .459 8.) Guru Nahak .458 9.) Siddhartha Guatama .457 10.) Jesus Christ .456 |
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#138 (permalink) | |
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Major Leagues
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Orange County
Posts: 436
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Quote:
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"This is sort of like living the American dream. You get to come the ballpark and get a free beer." - Arte Moreno My Life |
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#139 (permalink) |
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Minors (Double A)
Join Date: Apr 2003
Posts: 116
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June 1st, 3009
May has come and gone for our deities and Babylonian deity Apsu appears to be making a grab for the cash as he is posting a very impressive set of numbers to this point (.461 / 39 HR / 77 RBI). After hitting only 63 HRs last year, Apsu is on pace for about 110 HRs this season. "The insinuation that I am playing harder now to earn more money is ludicrous," asserted Apsu, sitting on a gold throne incrusted with priceless jewels, "I worked very hard during the offseason to improve my game and anyone who says otherwise will be most surprised to find their bowels filling with their own blood." Monthly Highlights 5/3/3009 - Scientology icon A Thetan (.632 / 4 HR / 7 RBI) and Roman God Jupiter (.579 / 7 RBI / 1.158 SLG) win Player of the Week Awards. 5/10/3009 - Babylonian God Apsu (.583 / 10 RBI / .667 OBP) and Stockton 3B Hunab Ku (.571 / 6 HR / 12 RBI / 1.500 SLG) win Player of the Week Awards. 5/16/3009 - Pygmy deity Khonvoum hits three HRs and drives in the winning run in the bottom of the 9th as Chicago edges New York 8-7. Khonvoum scored 3 runs, drove in 5 and stole a base on the day. 5/17/3009 - Phoenix 2B Confucius (.423 / 7 HR / 10 RBI) and reigning World Series MVP Guru Nahak (.526 / 10 RBI) win Player of the Week Awards. 5/24/3009 - Inuit deity Tekkeitsertok (.579 / 5 HR / 8 RBI) and Little Rock LF Zeus (.688 / 10 RBI / 1.563 SLG) win Player of the Week Awards. 5/24/3009 - Egyptian Sun God Ra goes 5 for 5 from the plate with two singles, two triples and a home run as Raleigh demolishes Greensboro 23-5. Ra scored 4 runs, drove in 2, walked twice and stole a base as Raleigh continues to impress in the UL Southwest. 5/24/3009 - Pittsburgh's resident deity, Ometeotl, homers three times with 6 RBI in Pittsburgh's 15-4 win in Columbus. 5/31/3009 - Zulu God uKqili (.500 / 19 RBI / 1.357 SLG) and Aztec God Ometeotl (.520 / 5 HR / 12 RBI) win Player of the Week Awards. 6/1/3009 - Oklahoma City SS Apsu (.500 / 23 HR / 48 RBI) and Aboriginal deity Altjira (.434 / 17 HR / 40 RBI) win Batter of the Month Awards for the month of May. Deity BA Leader: Hunab Ku .480 Deity HR Leader: Apsu 39 Deity RBI Leader: Apsu 77 Deity SB Leader: A Thetan 40 Career Deity Walks Leaderboard 1.) Vishnu 747 2.) A Thetan 722 3.) Ometeotl 706 4.) Hunab Ku 695 5.) uKqili 691 6.) Lao-tzu 687 7.) Siddhartha Guatama 679 8.) Zeus 678 9.) Ra 675 10.) Bondje 674 10.) Satan 674 |
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#140 (permalink) | |
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Major Leagues
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Baxter Springs, KS
Posts: 454
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Quote:
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You know it's summertime at Candlestick when the fog rolls in, the wind kicks up, and you see the center fielder slicing open a caribou to survive the ninth inning. ~Bob Sarlette Hating the New York Yankees is as American as apple pie, unwed mothers and cheating on your income tax. ~Mike Royko |
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