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OOTP 19 - Fictional Simulations Discuss fictional simulations and their results in this forum.

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Old 02-21-2019, 11:28 PM   #1
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We Majors: A year with the Orlando Solar Bears' Boogie Barnett

#1
When the first AAA ownership group expressed their desire to exit the affiliate system and create their own professional baseball association, the MLB league office put out a statement calling the declaration heresy. In total, 27 of the 30 MLB team ownership groups took to local (and in some cases, national) radio and TV to decry the idea. In Nashville there was a parade. It was hastily put together, poorly organized, and was never formally named. There was at least, by my count, 7 different flavors of cotton candy available at said parade. I tried 6 of them. Of those I tried, cucumber melon was my favorite.

#2
The second AAA ownership group that expressed a desire to exit the affiliate system did so during a mid-game interview between their New Orleans franchise and Nashville. They were down 9-0. It was picked up by MLB tonight and quickly put to rest by a forceful rebuttal that it would never come to fruition by Harold Reynolds. The citizens of New Orleans seized on the opportunity to throw a parade. I’m told they had nine flavors of cotton candy available for a small sum to attendees with money to burn. A young woman from Lafayette posted a picture of the parade (specifically that of a float designed to look like a toad playing a trumpet with the hashtag #pinacoladacottoncandy). I’ve been unable to verify that they, in fact, did have pina colada flavored cotton candy available for sale through any of my sources.

#3
Three months later, when a fledgling OTT live sports network, with nebulous corporate backing, expressed its desire to form its own regional professional baseball association, politicians, on behalf of the lobbying arm of the MLB Commissioners Office, declared that it was illegal to do so. Politico carried a story about a bill being proposed in the Senate that would ban the sale of cotton candy to minors (seemingly a move against spontaneous parading).

#4
When said fledgling OTT live sports network announced that, after a phenomenally successful round of funding, they would start a new professional baseball league, dubbed the ‘We Major League’, with exclusive broadcast coverage available via their subscription service all the naysayers were forced to eat their words. Harold Reynolds was invited to all the parades. He was made the unofficial official ambassador of cotton confectionaries.

THIS IS HOW THESE THINGS START
First, it’s an idea. Completely innocuous when taken at face value and then dismissed once it is ripped from limb to limb by the naysayers. Those hateful haters. Second, it’s an idea that gets seconded. Again dismissed, but it’s begun to germinate. It’s out there, waiting to take root. Third, an entity with nebulous financial backing expresses interest. They are serious. Politicians start saber-rattling. They get overzealous, spread themselves too thin, and divisions among caucus members over the verbiage included in a bill that aims to ban the sale of cotton candy to minors reveals a foundation in need of masonry. Fourth, someone, or group of someone’s, who are among the first to reach trillionaire status, decide to invest. Because they can. Because they are bored. Because they have fond memories of a childhood spent at the ballpark. Of hotdogs. Fizzy pop. And, cotton candy (probably blue raspberry flavored).

League Notes:
Name: We Major League (WML; We Majors)
Sub-Leagues: 2 (Democratic League / Republic League)
Teams: 16 (8 per league; 2 divisions per league)
Games: 78 (12 X in Division, 6x remaining teams in SL, 3x (H or A) 8 teams from the other SL). All games played Friday-Sunday. If you are interested in this schedule, click here: http://www.ootpdevelopments.com/boar...92#post2828623
Playoffs: 8 Teams total, top 2 from each division, 3 rounds, all set at 7 games (2H-3A-2H).
Universe: I created (or edited really) a region in the default database to include only the states where the WML teams are located, so the player pool (I turned foreigners off) comes exclusively from the region. In retrospect, I should have included some of the surrounding states to compensate for any curious geographic gaps, but I didn’t. So, we move forward (never straight).

We Majors was formed in 2020. I have played through 24 fun-filled seasons, with this ‘dynasty’ focusing on our silver jubilee season. Specifically, on my favorite franchise in the game world, the Orlando Solar Bears (logo/identity cribbed from a minor league hockey team), and, even more specifically, on their #1 starter (and #1 pitching prospect in the WML), Boogie Barnett.

A local Orlando newsweekly, published each Tuesday, has hired Boogie to produce a blog as a companion piece to their semi-comprehensive coverage of the WML and their hometown club. It should go without saying that Boogie, as a starting pitcher, watches a lot more baseball than he plays. Some other tidbits about our boy Boogie… he’s preoccupied with migas (it’s his favorite food and he will not take the mound before he’s had a plate/bowl of it), he likes to talk smack about the towns he plays in and the players he plays against, and he, for the last two seasons at least, has been mired in a musical funk where nothing outside of 70’s rock, hardcore punk, and freak folk music sounds appealing to his ears. He will talk about these things. A lot. But he will also deliver some news around the league, insider information, slightly humorous stories, and, may also deliver the occasional box score.

Attachments:
WM Standings (Day One) – just so you can see the teams…
WAAA Standing (from the end of last season… the Rainbow Bears won it all)…
24 year history index of the WML
Boogie Barnett - Player Profile
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Old 02-22-2019, 10:46 AM   #2
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Searching for Migas with Boogie Barnett
Posted by Boogie Barnett on Tuesday, March 28th, 2045


Iíve never authored a blog. Iíve not written anything of note in paragraph form. I was a decidedly average essayist in college. So, this is a big responsibility. One that I am unqualified to tackle.

When I was offered a princeís first cousins sum to write a blog for this highly regarded (depending on who you talk to) Orlando focused alternative newsweekly, I thought it was a bad idea. When I was told that it is to be a critical component of adding sports coverage to the current format, I thought the bad idea was starting to sound worse. When I was given 24 hours to decide if I would take the gig, I left 23 hours and 55 minutes on the table. Yes. Of course, yes. I play baseball, Iím good at failing. I do it for a living.

For my first post, our editor suggested that I put a league preview together. As good a suggestion as an editor of a newly created baseball blog can make, I suppose. Unfortunately, for both of us, after two years of major league service, I still donít know enough about the teams in the league (or their current make-up) to put together a proper preview. If thatís your bag, I suggest you peruse a league preview on pretty much any national sports website. I did this and found out that the Fayetteville Woodpeckers will repeat as champions of the We Majors. I also found out, as I dug deeper into the preview, that they will accomplish this because they have the best players. Talent wins championships, it said. And they do have some prime talent. Take their ace, for instance, Sam Spurling, 35 years young, 11-time all-star, 4-time champion, and heís won two hurler of the year awards for good measure. He sports a precisely manscaped goatee, which I am sure the ladies of Fayetteville love. In 2033, he threw a 12 K, 4BB no-hitter against Springfield. In short, heís formidable.

What it didnít say is that it takes more than talent to win a baseball game. Youíll need a good pair of cleats and a high-quality cup that was solidly constructed by a reputable sports equipment manufacturer.

Coming up next week: As you know, we are headed to New Orleans for our season-opening series. We are going by bus. I called shotgun, but our bench coach told me, ďthereís no shotgun in baseballĒ. So - Iíll be in the back with the riff raff again. Iíll tell you about the trip, share some thoughts on our opening stanza, and talk a lot more shop than I did this time.
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Old 02-22-2019, 02:43 PM   #3
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Searching for Migas with Boogie Barnett
Posted by Boogie Barnett on Wednesday, March 29th, 2045


My esteemed editor, who will henceforth be referred to as Lenny, because that’s his name and he has asked me, repeatedly, to stop referring to him as Two Scoops (because he’s a sweetheart. Get it?), told me that I can update my blog through their online platform anytime I want. He also told me that I should want to do that at least a few times per week because it is a desire that I am contractually obligated to have. I didn’t read the contract, so I will have to take Lenny’s word for it.

Lenny says that the purpose of this blog is to give its readers an insider view of the life of a ballplayer in the WML. It’s good to have direction. I should, however, point out that as a WML ballplayer, I don’t have much of a life. In the social sense.

So, then, let’s talk for a bit about the grind. Currently, the grind is an 8-10 hour bus ride from Orlando to New Orleans. It’s a nice bus. We have screens built into the back of each headrest, queued up with 1TB of movies. Action, comedy, suspense, drama, historical, musicals, you name it. Pick your poison. I can’t watch movies in a moving vehicle without getting sick, so, I’ve opted to don my blackout sleeping mask while relaxing to the sweet sounds of Thin Lizzy’s Johnny the Fox. A classic combination that I highly recommend for all your long-distance travel needs.

We’re roughly 3 and a half hours into our journey. In Tallahassee. It’s a chance to stretch our legs and as a 6’7” tall drink of water, I could’ve used this two hours ago. It’s also an opportunity to grab a bite. We’re hungry. Athletes are always hungry.

Our pitching coach, Marty Chevalier (pronounced shaw-vol-yay), who in addition to being a patient expert in the fine art of hucking a baseball, is a dead ringer for the classic thespian Morgan Freeman, has selected Bird's Aphrodisiac Oyster Shack as our lunch spot. It’s a curious selection. We’ve teased him about the choice mercilessly. But, in his infinite wisdom, he has proved himself to be clutch once again – I had the grouper sandwich. It was fantastic.

Note: We got our first game scouting report during lunch. I’ve attached it to this post. These numbers guys ain’t fooling no one. My boy Steve Rose is way better than Trash Boatright. Those 26 homers he put up last year were a fluke. Maybe our resident stats nerd is working a motivational angle. Hard to say. I try not to talk to him much because I can’t understand 90% of what he says. I throw balls for a living, so not a lot going on upstairs.
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Old 02-23-2019, 01:33 PM   #4
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Searching for Migas with Boogie Barnett
Posted by Boogie Barnett on Friday, April 7th, 2045


From: Celia DuPree [c.dupree@.....weekly.com]
To: Lenny Willis [l.willis@.....weekly.com]
Subject: FWD: Boogieís Blog
Sent: 29 March 2045

Boogie,

See Celiaís notes below.

Lenny

Begin forwarded message:

L,

We have enjoyed Boogieís posts so far, and the fan response has been in line with our projections. The click-through rates to linked articles are on target, however, we are not seeing a pages per visitor and average length of visit that is on par with other sections - especially our entertainment section. Our data analytics team has completed a pathway and content analysis and we believe that the key differentiator here is Boogieís lack of interpersonal stories that delve deeper into human emotions. Please help Boogie connect with his audience on a more visceral level. There are heartstrings to pull. Can you help Boogie identify these strings?

Regards,

C-

~~~

My esteemed editors boss thinks that you and I need to connect on a deeper level. Share a glass in Pinot Gris over dinner. Delve deeper into past relationships, the things we like, and maybe even share a little bit of our history to find some emotional commonalities.

As a slightly above average We Majors pitcher, itís not that I donít want to do these things, itís that it resides outside of my comfort zone. I like to be comfortable. Wrapped in a cocoon of blankets with one foot poking out for temperature regulation. You too? Wow. See, weíre connecting already.

An example of similar advice (in a baseball context):
AAA Pitching Coach - Letís try to induce more pop outs today, Boog. Letís get our outfield more involved.
Me - Iím more of a ground ball pitcher.
AAAPC - Just soften up on the delivery, float the occasional butterfly in there. Letís get those guys involved so they are more focused behind the plate.
Me - Iím really more of a ground ball pitcher.
AAAPC - Change is a critical component of improvement.
Me - But, I am what I am. I mean, Iíll give it a shot though.

Two hours after that conversation, I gave up 4 homers, including a grand slam. Still a AAA record.

~~~~

Opening day is special until itís not. Itís front-loaded with pomp and circumstance. This opening day was my first as the staffs Ace. Pretty cool. But, in baseball, routine trumps novelty. Not because it wants to, because it has to.

Our hotel's concierge put me on to a solid migas spot, the Ruby Slipper Cafe. Cool place, good service, and the migas were fabulous. Migas are the key to my routine. Without them, you canít start the car. Feeling satiated and ready to rock, I arrived at the park early for stretches and to get in an hour on the exercise bike.

The clubhouse was tense. All fidgeting, restless leg syndrome, and visualization. When we finally took the field, we were treated to a Baby Cakes introduction worthy of an opening day that concluded with a moment to recognize first responders before the marching band took the field to perform what was easily the most insane rendition of our national anthem that Iíve ever seen. Iím sure someone posted a poorly shot phone video of the performance - look for it on VimeoTube.

Game notes:
1.1 The guys gave me a one-run cushion in the top of the first. Faircloth opened our scoring this season with a sacrifice fly. The consummate professional putting the team first.
1.2 I came out shaky. A hit, a walk, a K. I nearly gave up a two-run homer if not for Dan Perezís acrobatics at the fence.
1.3 I settled in during the second inning, opening with a clean K on the back of my changeup before inducing a ground out and a pop-up.
1.4 In the 3rd our catcher Carlos Perez hit one out Ė a nice solo shot. Our 3B Andy Tyner brought in another run after that, followed by an RBI for our resident acrobat Ė bringing the score to 4-0. An auspicious start for your Solar Bears.
1.5 Iím getting comfy now. Settling in. Punched Trash Boatright out with a slider. Puppetry. Through 5, opposing pitcher Ben Reeve manages to punch out 10 of us on 109 pitches. Heís all over the place but keeps dialing it back in.
1.6 For my part, Iíve been economical, making it through the 6th frame on 81 pitches. I retire the side on 10 pitches in the 7th but canít find my way through the 8th. My back tightens and my control ends up with its picture on the back of a milk carton.
1.7 Caleb Skinner comes on in relief and promptly lets the 2 I left on get home, followed by another of his own doing. Itís an impossible situation I put him in, but he has enough to keep the lead.
1.8 Itís 4-3 as we enter the final stanza.
1.9 The bottom of the ninth starts with a double and a walk for the Baby Cakes. Itís not an ideal situation. It becomes less ideal when Skinner walks the bags loaded. Andy Lenz saunters to the plate. He was a late sub for the Cakes, playing the field for PH John Haslag who spelled a gassed Ben Reeve in the bottom of the 8th. His walkout music sounds like a cut from a videogame soundtrack. Gross. He looks more confident than he should.
1.10 The game was decided with no one out in the bottom of the ninth. With New Orleans trailing 4-3, Andy Lenz hit a fastball from Caleb Skinner to left for a grand slam home run. Just like that, the Baby Cakes had a walk-off win.

The mood in the clubhouse is dour. Obviously. On the BrightsideÖ 2 of my 5 Kís belonged to Trash Boatright. I told you he was garbage.

Box score attached (plus some other goodies).
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Old 02-23-2019, 04:04 PM   #5
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Searching for Migas with Boogie Barnett
Posted by Boogie Barnett on Monday, April 10th, 2045


Scenes from the bus ride home after being swept to open the season…

001
Skip pulled a black sharpie out of his front pocket.

He wrote, “0-3”, on the divider wall behind the driver and then threw the sharpie towards the back of the bus. His control is solid, but the velo isn’t there.

Then he cut the power to our in-bus entertainment systems. Then he went back to his seat. When our 36-year old elder statesman, Josh Turner, called out, “Hey! I’m watching the financial update.”, Skip simply turned to the team, flashed his best stern look, and put his eyes back on the road.

No sleep til’ Tallahassee.

002
We stop for food in Tallahassee. On the left is a Bojangles and to the right a Whataburger. 60/40 split. I head to Whataburger with the majority.

I go with the chophouse cheddar. Easy decision.

“Fries and drink?”, says the young lady at the counter. I chalk her chipper mood up to the fact that she didn’t spend the weekend in New Orleans getting swept over a three-game set.
“Yeah”, I reply

003
The TV in the dining lobby is tuned to the local afternoon news. The reporter, LeAnn Sheppard, looks serious. Can’t hear her because the sound is muted. She looks like she sounds pretty.

They cut to a beached whale in Delray. Then to a beachcomber in a floral print who is holding a Minelab Equinox 3000. Metal detection of superior quality. Tagline reads, “Locals complain about the smell of beached whale”.

RP Jay Frazier, who among other things is ranked #3 in the Orlando Organization of Amateur Fencing’s men’s division, looks at me with a wry smile and says, “Thar she blows”.

I give him a perfunctory disapproving shake of my head. It’s too early for whale jokes.

004
Upon arrival, our head trainer, Denny Daniels, hands me a paper containing my rehab schedule. I was listed DtD after my start with an abdominal strain.

It seems that I have resistance bands in my future. That and time with Michelle Purefoy, training assistant extraordinarie and fierce jiu-jitsu practitioner. She of the deepest red hair and impossibly long legs.

I give Double-D my best hang loose hand gesture before heading to where I parked my electric Vespa. Time to get home and brood.

Attached:
Boxscores
Amateur fencing stalwart, Bollywood cinema expert, and Solar Reliever, Jay Frazier
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Old 02-23-2019, 11:30 PM   #6
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Searching for Migas with Boogie Barnett
Posted by Boogie Barnett on Wednesday, April 12th, 2045


Dr. Daniels (not actually a Doctor) cleared me to pitch against Jacksonville on Friday. I’m no longer listed as day-to-day. With the proper technique and an above average resistance band, you can accomplish great things.

This is the beauty of physical therapy.

Our esteemed editor and purveyor of forceful ideas regarding content improvements to this here blog has informed me that now would be a good time to fill my faithful readers in on some of the happenings around the league. So, hopefully, you’re listening, and even more hopefully, you’re interested in WML news beyond the scope of the Solars. Both of you.

Milestones:
David Moyeda (Columbus Clippers) – Career win #150
In his career, Moyeda, has 150 victories and 120 defeats and recorded an ERA of 2.69.

Jason Jean (Arkansas Travelers) – Records 1st Perfect Game in WML history!
The right-hander dominated the Sugar Land Skeeters at Little Rock Ballpark, securing the 9-0 Travelers victory and a place for himself in the history books.

Jason Fluke (Jacksonville Jumbo Shrimp) – 1000 hits
A check of his lifetime stats shows Fluke has played in 909 games with a .288 batting average. Among his 1000 hits are 182 home runs. He also has scored 598 runs and driven in 630 runs.

Daniel “Trash” Boatright – 100 HR’s
The Baby Cakes shortstop went 1 for 5 with 1 home run and 1 RBI as New Orleans won 5-4 over the Orlando Solar Bears. Lifetime Boatright is hitting .281 with 77 doubles, 14 triples, 100 home runs, 318 RBIs and 319 runs scored. He has appeared in 476 games to date and delivered 493 hits.
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Old 02-25-2019, 01:58 PM   #7
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Searching for Migas with Boogie Barnett
Posted by Boogie Barnett on Thursday, April 13th, 2045


On the bus ride to Jacksonville, a two-hour jaunt, we passed two young ladies who were, presumably, hitchhiking their way back to Jacksonville themselves. Iíve built this assumption on a loose collection of facts. First, they both had their thumbs out in the universal hitchhiking way and second, they were both wearing Trinity Baptist College tube tops. That they were also wearing way-too-short shorts made their choice in colleges suspect, but I digress.

This is the type of event that leads to questions. Like, for instance, who tries to hitchhike a bus? Does Trinity Baptist College even sell tube tops? A cursory web search uncovers that the college has a 30% graduation rate - explaining the shorts. Digging deeper into my internet research, Iím able to find TBC tube tops for sale and while they are not the same design as those worn by our hitchhiking neíer do wells, itís possible that their tube tops were from last years collection.

This mystery carried me through the last hour of our trip. Hopefully, they were able to catch a ride. And, I am equally hopeful that the person behind the wheel wasnít Florida Man.

At 0-3, I can tell you that the team is itching to play some ball. To get back on track. The Jumbos are 3-0, which, if you believed the preseason predictions of most baseball pundits, is as surprising as our Solars being in a 3 game hole. We were given our Jacksonville scouting report as we entered the bus. According to the witchcraft math our stats guy uses we are the better team. Weíll have to play like it, the Jumbos are hot. 3 wins against Gwinnett to open the season may not be the most difficult of tasks, but it takes some mettle to get a sweep in this league.

As the sweepee in our first series of the season, weíve had whatever the opposite of mettle is.
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Old 02-25-2019, 05:35 PM   #8
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Searching for Migas with Boogie Barnett
Posted by Boogie Barnett on Monday, April 17th, 2045


After earning our first W of the season in Jacksonville, we lost the next two games in the series. The Jumbos put a bad one on us in the 2nd game and batted the ball around with reckless abandon in the rubber match.

I skipped the bus ride home to stay in Jacksonville for an additional night, which was a decision centred on my desire to catch a performance of ďMasterz of PuppetryĒ at UNF. To the uninitiated, ďMasterz of PuppetryĒ is a reimagining of the seminal classic rock album, ďMaster of PuppetsĒ, by Metallica as performed by marionettes. The show culminates with a 7-puppet opera-tinged performance of the title track that includes scenes of puppet on puppet violence, a weird breakdance montage during the refrain, and some audience call and response of ďmaster (audience), master (puppet)" part of the track. I highly recommend you check it out. They have two not performances this week - use my code metalpuppet for 15% off your ticket purchase through #sacklunchtickets.

We will be in Nashville for our 3rd straight road series of the season next weekend. We need a sweep.

On another note, our website intern helped me with a new format for postgame reports. Credit Megan with an unrequested, yet thoughtful and timely, assist. A tip of the olí cap to her. I only feel like a charity case because I am in need of charity, so, believe me when I say that Meganís charitable contribution to this here blog felt as good as finding a twenty dollar bill in a coat you havenít worn for a while.

The new weekly report is attached.
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Old 02-25-2019, 05:53 PM   #9
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League Note:

A blow for Sam Spurling today -- team doctors were able to determine the full extent of his recent injury. He will miss 5 months with a torn back muscle. Spurling suffered the injury on 04/14/2045. The team will likely place Spurling on the disabled list today.

Huge setback for the preseason favorite to win the championship.
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