Philadelphia Eagles jokes

marioh · 01-22-2004, 01:15 PM

I just got this in an email, and being a Giants fan, laughed my a$$ off on some of these.
Sorry if this was posted before :

>Q: What do you call 47 people sitting around a TV watching the Super
>Bowl?
> A: The Philadelphia Eagles.
>
> Q: What do the Philadelphia Eagles and Billy Graham have in common?
> A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus
Christ".
>
> Q: How do you keep a Philadelphia Eagle out of your yard?
> A: Put up goal posts.
>
> Q: Where do you go in Philadelphia in case of a tornado?
> A: To the Linc - they never have a touchdown there!
>
> Q: What do you call a Philadelphia Eagle with a Super Bowl ring?
> A: A thief.
>
> Q: Why doesn't Camden have a professional football team?
> A: Because then Philadelphia would want one.
>
> Q: Why was Andy Reid upset when the Philadelphia Eagles play book was stolen?
> A: Because he hadn't finished coloring it.
>
> Q: What's the difference between the Philadelphia Eagles and a dollar bill?
> A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar.
>
> Q: How do the Philadelphia Eagles count to 10?
> A: 0-1, 0-2, 0-3, 0-4, 0-5, 0-6, 0-7, 0-8, 0-9, 0-10
>
> Q: How many Philadelphia Eagles does it take to win a Super Bowl?
> A: Nobody knows and we may never find out.
>
> Q: What do the Philadelphia Eagles and possums have in common?
> A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road !

Feel free to add more as you see fit.

BaseballMan · 01-22-2004, 02:44 PM

These sound like the same jokes that were told about the Dallas Cowboys when they were pretty bad. Funny but i think its the same jokes,
if i am not mistaken.

CMH · 01-22-2004, 02:49 PM

Q: What do you call a Philly fan that cried after the Eagles lost in the NFC?

A: John C

hehe

scoobz0202 · 01-22-2004, 02:54 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BaseballMan
These sound like the same jokes that were told about the Dallas Cowboys when they were pretty bad. Funny but i think its the same jokes,
if i am not mistaken.

I remember hearing the same jokes about the Bengals, too

Rizon · 01-22-2004, 02:57 PM

...

PrestonKaye · 01-22-2004, 03:21 PM

Q: There are 4 Dallas Cowboys in a car, who's driving?
A: The Police.

Q: Why can't Michael Irvin be in the Cowboy huddle anymore?
A: It's a parole violation for him to associate with known felons.

Q: How do the Cowboys spend the first week of training camp?
A: Studying the Miranda Rights

The team doctor said because of Michael Irvin's fractured wrist, it'll be 6 - 8 weeks before he can video tape a team mate having sex.

The Chicago Bears are trying to trade for Michael Irvin. They got rid of the "Refrigerator" and now they want a "Coke Machine".

It was reported today that the artificial turf in Texas Stadium is being replaced because the Cowboys play much better on grass.

The Cowboys had a 11 and 5 season this year. 11 arrests and 5 convictions.

baseballman are these the dallas cowboy jokes?

twins15 · 01-22-2004, 06:13 PM

Favorite sports joke of all time (even though it was making fun of the Vikings)

After the NFC Championship game against Atlanta, Gary Anderson was so upset about missing that FG that he tried to hang himself. He tried, but he failed, because he couldn't kick the chair out from under him.

jgross68 · 01-22-2004, 06:13 PM

Q: What do Eagles fans call the Monday after the NFC Championship game?
A: Groundhog Day

Rizon · 01-22-2004, 06:46 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by twins15
Favorite sports joke of all time (even though it was making fun of the Vikings)

After the NFC Championship game against Atlanta, Gary Anderson was so upset about missing that FG that he tried to hang himself. He tried, but he failed, because he couldn't kick the chair out from under him.

Similar to Scott Norwoods:
Scott Norwood tried to commit suicide by shooting himsef in the head, but the bullet went wide right.

ronsantohof · 01-22-2004, 07:33 PM

A friend of mine in Philadelphia was shopping at a mall. He left his Eagles jacket in the back window and locked his doors. When he got back to his car he found the back windshield was smashed in and four more Eagles jackets were inside.

ronsantohof · 01-22-2004, 07:35 PM

Leno: "Have you heard about this bird flu that’s sweeping across Asia? This is really bad. Apparently, there’s an even deadlier strain here in the United States that causes seemingly healthy birds to suddenly start choking. But enough about the Philadelphia Eagles."

jazzrack · 01-22-2004, 08:38 PM

in all fairness , the panther are the better team , and well McNabb is overrated(what rush was right?)

ok my joke.

the Philadelphia Eagles

Eckstein 4 Prez · 01-22-2004, 08:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by ronsantohof
A friend of mine in Philadelphia was shopping at a mall. He left his Eagles jacket in the back window and locked his doors. When he got back to his car he found the back windshield was smashed in and four more Eagles jackets were inside.

For some reason this one had me laughing out loud......

ronsantohof · 01-22-2004, 10:16 PM

It's an old joke that's been done with multiple teams and jackets, jerseys, tickets, etc. Being a Cubs fan, I've heard a lot of them. Also, the one about the field goal kicker missing the chair was done back in the 90's about the Chiefs kicker Lin Elliot the first time they lost to the Colts at home after a 13-3 season. And then after the Bills lost one of their Super Bowls there was the joke about Thurman Thomas being so distraught that he tried to shoot himself, but he dropped the gun.

01-22-2004, 01:15 PM	#1
marioh All Star Starter Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: NYC Posts: 1,162	Philadelphia Eagles jokes I just got this in an email, and being a Giants fan, laughed my a$$ off on some of these. Sorry if this was posted before : >Q: What do you call 47 people sitting around a TV watching the Super >Bowl? > A: The Philadelphia Eagles. > > Q: What do the Philadelphia Eagles and Billy Graham have in common? > A: They both can make 70,000 people stand up and yell "Jesus Christ". > > Q: How do you keep a Philadelphia Eagle out of your yard? > A: Put up goal posts. > > Q: Where do you go in Philadelphia in case of a tornado? > A: To the Linc - they never have a touchdown there! > > Q: What do you call a Philadelphia Eagle with a Super Bowl ring? > A: A thief. > > Q: Why doesn't Camden have a professional football team? > A: Because then Philadelphia would want one. > > Q: Why was Andy Reid upset when the Philadelphia Eagles play book was stolen? > A: Because he hadn't finished coloring it. > > Q: What's the difference between the Philadelphia Eagles and a dollar bill? > A: You can still get four quarters out of a dollar. > > Q: How do the Philadelphia Eagles count to 10? > A: 0-1, 0-2, 0-3, 0-4, 0-5, 0-6, 0-7, 0-8, 0-9, 0-10 > > Q: How many Philadelphia Eagles does it take to win a Super Bowl? > A: Nobody knows and we may never find out. > > Q: What do the Philadelphia Eagles and possums have in common? > A: Both play dead at home and get killed on the road ! Feel free to add more as you see fit. __________________ RZA - "I'm me and the me that's me is me and is going to continue to be me"

01-22-2004, 02:57 PM	#5
Rizon Hall Of Famer Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: SF Area, California Total Posts: 531,691 Posts: 2,363	... Attached Images __________________ JML MILKSHAKES

01-22-2004, 03:21 PM	#6
PrestonKaye All Star Reserve Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Cape Cod, Mass Posts: 849	cowboy jokes Q: There are 4 Dallas Cowboys in a car, who's driving? A: The Police. Q: Why can't Michael Irvin be in the Cowboy huddle anymore? A: It's a parole violation for him to associate with known felons. Q: How do the Cowboys spend the first week of training camp? A: Studying the Miranda Rights The team doctor said because of Michael Irvin's fractured wrist, it'll be 6 - 8 weeks before he can video tape a team mate having sex. The Chicago Bears are trying to trade for Michael Irvin. They got rid of the "Refrigerator" and now they want a "Coke Machine". It was reported today that the artificial turf in Texas Stadium is being replaced because the Cowboys play much better on grass. The Cowboys had a 11 and 5 season this year. 11 arrests and 5 convictions. baseballman are these the dallas cowboy jokes? __________________ --Championships aren't won on paper, they are won in a computer simulation!-- Vipors Baseball.... BITCHES Xenoz http://img184.exs.cx/img184/219/keblarsig2xy.jpg Flow Storm http://img47.exs.cx/img47/328/ab1copy8hs.jpg Last edited by PrestonKaye; 01-22-2004 at 03:23 PM.

01-22-2004, 06:13 PM	#7
twins15 Hall Of Famer Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Area 51 Posts: 4,792	Favorite sports joke of all time (even though it was making fun of the Vikings) After the NFC Championship game against Atlanta, Gary Anderson was so upset about missing that FG that he tried to hang himself. He tried, but he failed, because he couldn't kick the chair out from under him. __________________ "Ah man we're just hungry man" - Dovonte Edwards Bismarck Boy Scouts of the OTBL - league yes-man Ross Gload at baseball-reference.com Book Quotes and Book Lists

01-22-2004, 06:13 PM	#8
jgross68 All Star Reserve Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: ....is everything! OTA: .882, Member #866 Posts: 690	Q: What do Eagles fans call the Monday after the NFC Championship game? A: Groundhog Day __________________ Javier Gustavo Ruprecht Oss LXVIII Bizarro-Gastric ReFlux Emeritus Judo Purist and Supporter of Monkey Rodeo Leagues: OTBL \| ABC \| OCHO \| Off The Wall (Coming Soon!) Blogs: The Legacy of Tony Womack \| How We Got Enron! ...the musical (Now even less frequently updated!) Topical quote for any occasion: "Never wear your best trousers when you go out to fight for freedom and truth." ~Henrik Ibsen, "An Enemy of the People"

01-22-2004, 02:44 PM	#2
BaseballMan Hall Of Famer Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 6,272	These sound like the same jokes that were told about the Dallas Cowboys when they were pretty bad. Funny but i think its the same jokes, if i am not mistaken.

01-22-2004, 02:49 PM	#3
CMH Hall Of Famer Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 5,057	Q: What do you call a Philly fan that cried after the Eagles lost in the NFC? A: John C hehe

01-22-2004, 07:33 PM	#10
ronsantohof Minors (Double A) Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Dermot, KS Posts: 197	A friend of mine in Philadelphia was shopping at a mall. He left his Eagles jacket in the back window and locked his doors. When he got back to his car he found the back windshield was smashed in and four more Eagles jackets were inside. __________________ Guilt or innocence, that's not my job. It's my duty to pick up scum-sucking punks like yourself who are accused of a crime. A jury of twelve really stupid people who are easily swayed by rich, fat-cat, slimy lawyers, who'll do anything but tell the truth, will sit in judgment of you. It's as American as a burrito. Eschew obfuscation.

01-22-2004, 07:35 PM	#11
ronsantohof Minors (Double A) Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Dermot, KS Posts: 197	Leno: "Have you heard about this bird flu that’s sweeping across Asia? This is really bad. Apparently, there’s an even deadlier strain here in the United States that causes seemingly healthy birds to suddenly start choking. But enough about the Philadelphia Eagles." __________________ Guilt or innocence, that's not my job. It's my duty to pick up scum-sucking punks like yourself who are accused of a crime. A jury of twelve really stupid people who are easily swayed by rich, fat-cat, slimy lawyers, who'll do anything but tell the truth, will sit in judgment of you. It's as American as a burrito. Eschew obfuscation.

01-22-2004, 08:38 PM	#12
jazzrack Hall Of Famer Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: still kicking Posts: 3,229 Blog Entries: 25	in all fairness , the panther are the better team , and well McNabb is overrated(what rush was right?) ok my joke. the Philadelphia Eagles __________________ . "Never confuse composure for ease" Was once Head Cheese of Corporate League Baseball

01-22-2004, 10:16 PM	#14
ronsantohof Minors (Double A) Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Dermot, KS Posts: 197	It's an old joke that's been done with multiple teams and jackets, jerseys, tickets, etc. Being a Cubs fan, I've heard a lot of them. Also, the one about the field goal kicker missing the chair was done back in the 90's about the Chiefs kicker Lin Elliot the first time they lost to the Colts at home after a 13-3 season. And then after the Bills lost one of their Super Bowls there was the joke about Thurman Thomas being so distraught that he tried to shoot himself, but he dropped the gun. __________________ Guilt or innocence, that's not my job. It's my duty to pick up scum-sucking punks like yourself who are accused of a crime. A jury of twelve really stupid people who are easily swayed by rich, fat-cat, slimy lawyers, who'll do anything but tell the truth, will sit in judgment of you. It's as American as a burrito. Eschew obfuscation.