The Domesday Division

[Syd Thrift]

In the year 1,100 anno domini, it hath been ordained that there shall be-eth a new League of Boxing to bringeth together the uncouth Saxons who inhabited this great land of England before it was properly conquested by the wonderful William the [s]Bastard[/s] Conqueror and the Normans who rule now. For the beginning, one "club" shall be located in London Town and shall "playe" all of its matches in the Stonehenge, which is looking a little Beaten Down, we must say, but which will surely get a lot better after a bit of Washinge and Buntinge. A second "club" shall be located in York, with "playe" in the very York Palace, York not having a locale quite as beautifulle as the Henge for which to "playe" in because they are uncouth heathens.

A good old fashioned Norman "round robban" shall be run to decide the initial Champions of both Clubes as well as to let the locals know who is good and who is a Clowne. Results shall be up-coming.

*******************

So I noticed that CONN CHRIS tried to upstage my old-osity by going even older, huh? Well, out-old this, person who knows much more about boxing than I!!! Let's just say I have a lot of... ideas for this league, and if 10% of them go fulfilled, I will make a traveshamockery out of you all!

[Lee]

Originally Posted by Syd Thrift

So I noticed that CONN CHRIS tried to upstage my old-osity by going even older, huh? Well, out-old this

Not so fast....My new PBA (Paleontology Boxing Association) is getting ready to kick off with a 4 man elimination for the initial Cro-Mag Title.
Orgg vs Ugh in one semifinal, followed by Grack vs Oolong in the other. The winners will meet in the La Brea tar pits for the Title.

[Syd Thrift]

The champions of the twin Clubs are as follows:

London: Oscar Siddorn 6-1-2 (3)
York: Axegrinden Brown 6-1-0 (3)

By decree of the King, all new fighters will learn their way in the ring against the following five opponents in the Test of Manhood:

1. A statue of a bear. Can our intrepid young men down a statue of a bear? If they can't, maybe they should not be boxing.

2. An actual bear. This one is a little bit better because it fights back.

3. Orange the Golem. Not really a golem because magic is not real (or at least that is what I am supposed to say, what with the London Taxman standing behind me and all) but a marionette with powerful hands.

4. Shackled Miscreant. The shackles should keep him from doing too much harm.

5. Stupid Commoner. He is what the name implies. Not a very bright person.

The way that this will happen, the first day of every month shall see each new boxer fight the first four men in a one-day test of their mettle. The following day, all new fighters shall beat up on the Stupid Commoner, for he is stupid and therefore deserves to be beaten. The first two men to face the Test of Manhood are as follows:

Leo Ayling
------------
Statue KO
Bear KO
Golem Dec
Miscreant L-Dec
Idiot KO

Dermot Quenby
------------
Statue L-KO
Bear L-KO
Golem L-KO
Miscreant L-Dec
Idiot Dec

Needless to say, Dermot Quenby's career has not gotten off to a good start. He hit the statue of the bear in such a way that part of it fell on him and knocked him out. Then, perhaps woozy from this initial hit, he allowed the actual bear and then Orange the Golem to knock him to the fertile loam of the Henge as well. Finally, he managed to at least only lose a decision to the Shackled Miscreant. This is one way to become a man, we guess. At least, a man who can accept being a big fat loser.

To add insult to injury, Quenby got poked in the eye by the stupid commoner, who doesn't understand that you punch with your fist, not your thumb. He'll miss at least a month.

As for the actual fighting...

York
----------
Ethelstamp Woodger (4-4-1, 1) def. Fatman Chubb (4-4-1, 2) by decision
A close, close decision, but an upset nonetheless.

Axegrinden Brown (7-1-0, 4) def. Hapye Gayford (0-8-0) by KO in 5
The man's actual name was "Gayford", we swear. We did add the "Hapye" bit on, but did not check his ratings prior to doing so.

Following the card, Fatman Chubb kicked a dwarf down a flight of stairs. He was no doubt unhappy with his loss, but nonetheless dwarf-kicking shall not be tolerated in this new Club and as such he has been subjected to 90 days of hard labor.

Intramural
------------
Ethelbal Alty (3-5-0, 1) def. Frazer Purdy (3-5-0, 1) by decision
We'll allow the Saxons to take this one victory over a Norman.

London
----------
Harry Miskin (5-3-0, 3) def. Logan Tennison (1-7-0) by KO-8
Miskin was down 69-64 according to referee Basington Basilthipe when the KO occurred.

Spencer Sefton (6-2-1,1) def. Oscar Siddorn (6-2-2, 3) by KO-11
Sefton simply had his way with Siddorn. How did Siddorn become the champ in the first place?

[Syd Thrift]

Originally Posted by Lee

Not so fast....My new PBA (Paleontology Boxing Association) is getting ready to kick off with a 4 man elimination for the initial Cro-Mag Title.
Orgg vs Ugh in one semifinal, followed by Grack vs Oolong in the other. The winners will meet in the La Brea tar pits for the Title.

There are no such thing as dinosaurs! [/carl everett]

[CONN CHRIS]

I think Gunsmoke is the resident authority on the Ug, Zug and Dug era. I shall defer to him on such matters.

[CONN CHRIS]

Oh, and losing to a statue - not good.

[Gunsmoke]

Ugh was not as strong as Ug but would've have had the height and reach advantage... but the fighters of the 1,950,270's BC fought harder and longer than the fighters of the 1,950,240s... it's so hard to predict between eras.

[CONN CHRIS]

Well, if the master can't help us on this Ug - Ugh debate, how can we, mere mortals, be expected to draw any conclusions?

[Syd Thrift]

This time it was the Yorkists who gained themselves a couple of new boxers. Not much to report on them as of yet.

York
---------------
Archer Rebow (6-2-0, 3) def. Highwayman Waylen (4-4-0, 4) by decision
When the Highwayman doesn't KO his man, he loses. He almost won this fight.

London
---------------
Fergus Bracegirdle (6-2-3, 4) def. Shackled Miscreant (1-3-0) by KO(7)
A tune-up fight for Bracegirdle, who looks to be one of the real risers in London Town.

Spencer Shelton (7-2-1, 2) def. Frazer Purdy (3-6-0, 1) by TKO(6)
Shelton probably could have fought Bracegirdle, but went with the easy W instead.

Notes: Following the fight, Fergus Bracegirdle admitted he has his surname because he likes to wear women's clothing. He shall miss the next 90 days.

[Syd Thrift]

Note: I just took a gander at the records and ratings of my Trial of Manhood beasts. The Statue of a Bear, who is right now the only one of the five who "fights" beginning-stage boxers due to the bug in the game where randomly generated guys automatically move up to the next stage of their career after one fight, is 4-3-1 with 3 KOs. I've adjusted him down a little bit. More awesome than that is that the actual bear is listed as a Party Animal under conditioning.

[Syd Thrift]

Ye very firste Standinges have been published:

York
--------------
Champion. Archer Rebow 8-2-0 (4), including a stunning upset of incumbent Axegrinden Brown in May.
1. Axegrinden Brown 9-2-0 (6), who recovered from his defeat at the hands of Rebow with a stunning 5th round KO over Puddington Frankham last month.
2. Hrothgar Workman 5-3-0 (2), KO'd Hapye Gayford in May (but who doesn't?)
3. Ethelstamp Woodger 4-4-0 (1), did not fight in the last 3 months
4. Puddington Frankham 4-3-0 (3), lost to Brown but also won a tough decision against Headbumper Dejyothin to stay in the top list o' contenders
5. Beostar Marsland 4-2-1 (3), won a prestigious intramural bout against Londoner Leo Ayling, then was TKO'd in a title bout with Rebow.

London
---------------
Champion. Spencer Sefton 8-2-1 (2), successfully defended his title against Crazy Harry Miskin in May.
1. Findlay Walby 6-0-0 (2), the newcomer finds himself the #1 contender thanks to victories over Rob Tregear in May and the Stupid Commoner in June.
2. Oscar Siddorn 6-2-2 (3), the former London Crownee did not fight last quarter.
3. John Johnson 2-6-0, #3 despite being knocked out by Logan Tennison. It is rumored that Johnson may have paid off the Council to be rated this highly.
4. Fergus Bracegirdle 6-2-3 (4), scandalized by his last name.
5. Crazy Harry Miskin 5-4-0 (3), tended to his wounds following his title shot against Sefton. Currently thinks he is William the Conqueror.

[bear]

Syd
Have you renamed your auto-scheduler the Doomsday Booker?

Bear

Who can't ever resist bad jokes

[Dagrims]

Originally Posted by CONN CHRIS

Well, if the master can't help us on this Ug - Ugh debate, how can we, mere mortals, be expected to draw any conclusions?

We should enlist Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer.

[Syd Thrift]

York
--------------
Hrothgar Workman (5-3-1, 2) drew Whitesmith Agar (1-2-3)
Don't listen to the lies of the commoners. Look at Agar's record! He does too know how to count!

London
--------------
Dean Milledge (4-1-1, 1) def. Frazer Purdy (3-7-0, 1) by KO-4
Milledge moves on up the ranks with this one.

Sebastian Turberville (4-1-1, 4) def. Leo Ayling (4-3-0, 2) by KO-5
Turberville has a sister named Tess.

Spencer Sefton (9-2-1, 3) def. Rob Tregear (3-7-0) by TKO-6
Not much more than a tune-up for Sefton.

Finlay Walby (7-0-0, 3) def. Oscar Siddorn (6-3-2, 3) by KO-12
Walby cements his place as the #1 contender with this victory.

[Syd Thrift]

It has been announced that for the month of December, both Clubs are heading to the North! In anticipation of the opening of a third Club for the land of Scots, all able boxers will storm ye barnes in a bigg Norman v. Saxon showdown!

London
---------
Crazy Harry Miskin (6-4-0, 4) def. Orange the Golem (5-9-1, 2) by KO-3
The "golem" was winning handily until the string holding its head broke off. This is a recurring issue.

Howard Smith (6-0-0, 4) def. Logan Tennison (2-8-0, 1) by KO-7
Another one of these unstoppable kids. Youth shall leadeth the daye in Londontown!

Spencer Sefton (10-2-1, 4) def. John Johnson (2-7-0) by KO-6
This is the price one pays for bribing councilmembers. You still lose, and now you have a big, bad headache.

York
----------
Coelmund Withy (4-2-0, 2) def. Hrothwulf Hambleton (3-3-0, 3) by decision
Once these newcomers get some more experience, both will probably be in the upper ranks of the club.

Ethelbal Alty (3-6-1, 1) drew Whitesmith Agar (1-2-4)
It would be nice to see Agar lose a fight once in a while. Or win one, for that matter.

Headbumper Dejyothin (6-2-0, 6) def. Hapye Gayford (0-10-0) by KO-6
Dejyothin has gone the distance exactly one time in his career now.

Axegrinden Brown (10-2-0, 6) def. Hrothgar Workman (5-4-1, 2) by decision
A very close decision considering how much better Brown is supposed to be than Workman.

[Syd Thrift]

London
----------------
Sebastian Turberville (4-1-2, 4) drew Dwayne Copeman (3-3-1, 2)
We don't know what the referee saw here. Turberville was way ahead on our scorecard.

Howard Smith (7-0-0, 4) def. Dean Milledge (4-2-1, 1) by decision
Smith just barely keeps his record clean with the tiniest of victories.

Finlay Walby (8-0-0, 4) def. Dermot Quinby (1-6-0) by KO-3
We ought to note here that Walby is, for some odd reason, very popular among the fairer sex. He doth know his chivalry.

York
-----------------
Headbumper Dejyothin (7-2-0, 7) def. Agar Whitesmith (1-3-4) by KO-2
What happens when the unstoppable force meets the undecisionable object?

Archer Rebow (9-2-0, 5) def. Fatman Chubb (4-5-0, 2) by KO-6
Chubb hadn't fought since February. If he's going to fight like that, we can see why.

[Syd Thrift]

London
------------
C. Spencer Sefton 10-2-1, 4 KOs
1. Finlay Walby 8-0-0, 4; holds onto the 1st contender slot
2. Crazy Harry Miskin 6-4-0, 4; jumps up 3 spots from #5
3. Oscar Siddorn 6-3-2, 3; continues to slide following thrashing by Walby
4. John Johnson 2-7-0; down from 3rd and should be about 10 places lower
5. Fergus Bracegirdle 6-2-3, 4; only drops one place despite not fighting at all in the summer

York
------------
C. Archer Rebow 9-2-0 5; You can't say he's sat on his title; he's fought 4 times already this year and made a mockery out of Fatman Chubb.
1. Axegrinden Brown 10-2-0 6; Rebow can't shake this man.
2. Headbumper Dejyothin 7-2-0 7; A busy quarter (2 fights, 2 KOs) bumps him all the way up from 7th.
3. Ethelstamp Woodger 4-4-0 1; Hasn't fought since January but moves up after everyone around him knocks each other off.
4. Hrothgar Workman 5-4-1 2; Lucky to be rated this high after a loss and a draw.
5. Puddington Frankham 4-3-0 3; Held steady at 4th by nursing a June KO and not fighting at all.

[Syd Thrift]

We have a new Old London Crownee! In his last fight of the year (boxing rules governinge people to have but six fights a year in their respective Club so as to avoid serious injurye), Spencer Sefton showed that while he is an accomplished boxer, his following of the chivalric ideals could use some work. He allowed himself to be knocked down in the firste of roundes and then in the seconde he hit his man in the codpiece far too often than is deemed fair. Referee Basington Basilstipe informed us that this was essentially the difference in the fight, as it was even otherwise.

Following Brad Sewell's fight, it was discovered that his bodye is producing noxious smells and he has been barred from fighting a'more for three months, including the trip to the land of Scots.

Coelmund Withy, trying to make a "change" for himself from following that silly Saxon tradition of leaving one's facial hair unshorn, suffered a severe cut in the barber's chair. The barber said that the cut was caused by evil spirits.

London
-----------
Brad Sewell 6-0-0 (5) def. Rob Tregear 3-8-0 by decision
Just because he's the young hot stuff doesn't mean Sewell can skip moving up the ranks just like everybody else.

Dean Milledge 5-2-1 (2) def. Dwayne Copeman 3-4-1 (2) by KO-1
Copeman has now knocked his opponent down 9 times to 6 but has failed to get back up twice. Verily, it is called heart, master Copeman.

Finlay Walby 9-0-0 (4) def. Spencer Sefton 10-3-1 (4) by decision
Sefton suffered flash KD in the first, then was warned for low blows in the 2nd. That was the difference in the fight.

York
-------------
Coelmund Withy 5-2-0 (3) def. Shackled Miscreant 3-15-0 (1) by KO-2
Withy avenges his Manhood loss to the miscreant by flooring him thrice in the second.

Garfield Randull 5-1-0 (3) def. Ethelstamp Woodger 4-5-0 (1) by KO-4
Randull's bound to move way, way, up after knocking down York's #3 "contender" (it is hard to call a sub-.500 fighter a contender).

Hrothgar Workman 6-4-1 (3) def. Highwayman Waylen 4-5-0 (4) by KO-8
Waylen's first fight since March. He returned to the York Palace queerly richer than he was before.

[Syd Thrift]

We are gearing up for the big Scotland meet. A few fights this month, none of them particularly meaningful. Well, other than the fact that Headbumper Dejyothin knocked down his man seven times in seven rounds. Seven! What a fantastically lucky number!

London
--------------
Ian Coggan 5-1-0 (5) def. Eohric Monnington 3-3-0 by KO-1
A vardogr of next month's fighting. The Londoner knocked his man down almost with his first punch.

Leo Ayling 5-3-0 (2) def. Dean Milledge 5-3-1 (2) by decision
Ayling despoils the rankings by completely dominating his man Milledge.

John Johnson 3-7-0 (1) def. Fergus Bracegirdle 6-3-3 (4) by TKO-3
How Johnson continues to last is beyond everyone in the London Club. This night, he bloodied up Bracegirdle's face so much that the man could not continue.

York
--------------
Headbumper Dejyothin 8-2-0 (8) def. Fisherman Shrimpton 3-3-0 (2) by KO-7
Shrimpton won't be fighting again for a long, long while.

Hrothgar Workman 7-4-1 (3) def. Puddington Frankham 4-4-0 (3) by decision
Workman is, well, workmanlyke.

[David Ball]

I calculate Sid is averaging just about exactly four months in 24 hours or one game year every three real days. Probably he can't maintain that pace without a break here or there, though...let's assume an average of 27 working days a month, which means 9 game years per real month...at that rate we should see the 21st century (in game terms) around the spring of 2117. I'll be looking forward to it...of course, the RPG may come in some time between now and then, and that could slow things down.